Do people actually love the other person or just adhere to the concept of love?

[Anonymous]

People fall in love, kiss each other, have sex, and say that they are in love. Then most relationships get broken and each finds new people to repeat the same things. How are they unique?

How are they magical?

If men and women fall in life with a few people in their life, how it is not just plain routine? there's hardly anything special.

From a guy's perspective: If the girl that likes you currently had many previous loving relationships, how can you be anything special? She behaved the same with all the other previous guys.

From a girls's perspective: If the guy that likes you currently had many previous loving relationships, how can you be anything special? He behaved the same with all the other previous girls.

[Altheavas]

I’m pretty sure when you actually find the one, you will know. Having been in multiple relationships and shared some deep emotional attachment/connection with a person is just a basic need. It’s not impossible to share some survival values with a person and be able to spend the rest of your life with that person.
Also, if that person is gone, you’re able to heal and move on. Probably most of us today just adhere to the idea of love. Sometimes there’s that person who comes into your life, that person you’re willing to give up anything for, that person you choose every day with perfections and imperfections. With that person, you somewhat have tunnel vision as only they exist; their presence, their voice is enough to make you feel complete. If that person is gone too, you’re willing to also spend the rest of your life with the life you lived together and keep the memories alive. Either you look delusionally happy every day, holding onto good memories, or you adhere to how society tells you how you're supposed to feel and live when your special person is no more, sad, depressed, miserable probably! What if you were always happy together? It’s best to keep good memories alive.
Usually, couples who share this deep love and affection toward each other pass away not long after another because of the heartbreak syndrome, I presumed. With that person, there is complete trust on both sides, transparency, synchronizing to a level, as if that person were to mistakenly end up on the other side of the world, you would know that person well enough; you would look for similar places you know your other half might seek refuge. Even their presence, their pain, and happiness are able to be felt in long distance because your thoughts weave intertwined. There is adherence to love today with a lot of conditions.
Life/love is so risky today; we’re afraid of it. Love or companionship today is mostly transactional! Most people are not willing to not have any control of their emotions. They’re afraid of love, fear abuse, fear of being manipulated, fear of being the cheated one. We’re too conditioned morally and mentally to accept to welcome that type of love.


Maybe I’m delusional myself thinking that way!

[RebelinSteel]

@altheavas that was well written and spot on

[Altheavas]

Adding just a bit of clarification to the prior comment; I am not talking about holding onto unhealthy relationships. I am talking about a healthy relationship. Where there is mutual understandings, commitment, where their happiness matters to each other, their health matters, two people who are able to synchronize and no one can come in between them, as one would know their own self, and confidently say yes he/she is capable of that, or he/she isn’t capable of that. Defaming of that person character is like defaming thyself character reported to, a wrong statement might paused that other half track of thoughts” wait a minute…!”, no this isn’t even close to being true. Again synchronizations, complete trust, and transparency!

[Asker]

You kinda reestablished my points with examples... after a few relationships, every new relationship is just a routine

[Altheavas]

To the asker, I do not re-establish your points. To me your points are mostly adherence of the idea of love of either gender. I have highlighted on your points, that is at a higher probability of being true in today society. However my points somewhat goes deeper to just adherence of the idea of love, where a non adhering love exists but rare.
Adhering to love is definitely routine which I agreed. My point goes further as; That love comes with patience, understandings, commitment, a decision to stay in love, respect, complete trust, cherish, the other half well beings matter mutually, and they never complete without the other half. Where the possibility of anyone else exists to complete that void of that special person of no more, doesn’t exist. That one person complete that void until it’s time to be gone too!

At the end I did say that “maybe I’m delusional …!
Why not …! although I know a non adhering love exists, but rare. I have to stay in reality knowing it’s rare, and that it’s not nonexistent either.

[HateyouxD]

Your past does not involve me. You are new to me and I want to explore. As long as you're free of stds we good

[RespectfulGuy]

I have to agree with you because what you wrote in the Details are logical facts.

The regrets of life is, we simply can't read minds. Neither can we see the future.

Assuming we enter relationship with the best of intentions and WANT to "live happily ever after".

But the sad fact is, there's such thing as "incompatibility" and selfishness.

Yes, let's agree on this: we're all selfish. We enter relationship with a selfish purpose. I write this because "I'll give all I have to make that person the happiest on earth" is never the first objective. Rather, relationship usually begins with sex, social stability (include money), immigration, and perhaps power as main objectives.

Hence, when the objectives are achieved, the "love" fades.

Note: I'm not saying there is no love. I'm saying the adulaterating of love with selfish desires contaminate relationship.

And it's this contamination that creates relationship problems that we see today.

[Anonymous]

I just adhere to the concept of love. Most guys have to this regardless if they want her to still let him f*** her. I don't care if she is a whore or frigid. All women want to be told he loves her. Even if she knows it's not true she wants you to feed her delusions. So it's just something a guy has to do.

[Nikki1989]

Love is not always permanent. It can fade just like anything else. You just have to mature and secure enough to handle it.