Is it a bad idea to text a woman "hey (her name), this is (my name). It's been a while, how have you been"?

[Anonymous]

[HateyouxD]

No it's very proper... pleasing even. Some great words to try and catch up with someone

[HateyouxD]

When's the last time you spoke to her?

[Asker]

Haven't talked to her via text in years although I exchanged a few DMs. My only intention was to catch up with her.

[HateyouxD]

Your only intention was to catch up with her... Buuuut? Did something happen between you two?

[Asker]

Absolutely. Long story short we had a huge falling out. It was definitely my fault.

[HateyouxD]

Your intro isn't bad. But remember to not have expectations with her. If she never got an apology don't expect her to become buddy buddy with you

[Asker]

I understand the apology should've come first but I wanted to do that in person. In your opinion if she answered some of my DMs do you still think an apology needed?

[HateyouxD]

Yes I do... if you're sincere you know

[Asker]

It makes sense that's why she didn't respond. I don't want to double text at this point so how can I salvage the situation?

[HateyouxD]

By double texting & apologizing lol

[Asker]

I'm very nervous to do that honestly. It looks like she moved on. She already thinks so low of me, if I double text and apologize she is gonna think I'm a creep.

[HateyouxD]

That's the only way to salvage things and to be a grown up about things. Since you're unclear... to me it's okay to text her again and let her know you wanted to apologize

[HateyouxD]

It's the only way you'll know to move on or not

[Asker]

You're absolutely right. We had a brief conversation through social media. I told her I wanted the opportunity to apologize to your face but I missed it. I saw her in person but I didn't have a chance to speak with her.

[HateyouxD]

Yea sounds like you missed your chance.

[HateyouxD]

Text her again man. Sounds like you're going through it

[Asker]

Okay Ill text her. I'm not going through it I'm just bored right now so I'm overthinking

[Anonymous]

Depends on the context, where and why are you texting?

[Asker]

Trying to reconnect with someone you haven't talked to in years

[Babygirliiw]

Tell her why you’re texting her.

[Asker]

I asked her how have you been. I texted her to catch up and reconnect

[Babygirliiw]

Did you inform her of that reason for contacting her?

[Asker]

No why would I have to do that?

[Babygirliiw]

So she has a reason to want to respond lol. You don’t wanna bore her. You want her to be excited to talk to you.

[Asker]

What I texted her was just an introduction to a conversation. I texted her to see how she has been and I was gonna take it from there.

[Babygirliiw]

What did she say bro?

[Asker]

She didn't respond

[Babygirliiw]

Exactly. What are you expecting from her by the way

[Asker]

The same thing I expect when I text anyone, an response whether negative or positive

[Babygirliiw]

Cool. But you have to entice the woman. Why should she talk to a man who treated her badly

[Asker]

I understand that. I'm not delusional and pretending like I didn't treat her badly. My intentions to make amends and apologize for any wrongdoing.
What should I have done to entice her?

[Babygirliiw]

Do you wanna do her dirty all over again or what? You need to tel her what you want from her

[Asker]

Absolutely not. I want to do it right this time because I understand everything I did wrong in the past. I'm just a terrible communicator and don't know how to verbalize that to her.

[Babygirliiw]

Just say it. I’m sorry for being a horrible human being to you and I want to be a man now and try to treat you right. Why don’t you just find a new girl by the way?

[Asker]

I talk to more girls but I overthink a lot about her sometimes because after having years to reflect I realize how wrong I was. I see on social media she moved on so I think reaching out does more harm than good at this point. She followed me back so I guess no hard feelings but that might just be it.

[Babygirliiw]

Ummmm yeah check with yourself that you don’t just want to have power over her again. It’s a known thing that guys who did you dirty try to pop up once they sense you’ve moved on and aren’t broken over them anymore. If you couldn’t cherish her the first time why do you think you can do it now? She’s the same woman before.

[Asker]

I never had any power over her. We never dated so it was never about any of that. I couldn't cherish her the first time because I was immature and didn't know better. Now as I get older I understand the mistakes I made.

[Babygirliiw]

What mistakes did you make bro

[Asker]

Too much to name but all in all I was a weirdo and creep. I couldn't just be her friend. I liked her and it complicated the situation because she didn't feel the same and I made her feel bad about that. If I was more honest and upfront we would still be on good terms.

[Babygirliiw]

So she didn’t wanna date you? You want to be her boyfriend still?

[Asker]

Yep and she was so subtle with it because she wouldn't say she wasn't interested. If given the opportunity if I'm being honest I would be her boyfriend.

[Babygirliiw]

Ok tel her straight up. Maybe she wants it now. Why hide just be yourself.

[Asker]

I think she just got out of a relationship a couple months ago. It might not be the best time. If she wanted to get to know me she would reach out or respond when I text her.

[Babygirliiw]

No no you have to be honest. It looks sketchy or boring if you just send hi how are you text. Be real.

[Asker]

Not to mention I think she had a baby as well. She is also way taller than I am so she is most likely not attracted to me.
From a woman perspective you wouldn't respond to a "how are you" text from a guy even if you liked him?

[Babygirliiw]

Maybe but you have a history dude. Men need to be vulnerable and emotional with us otherwise it’s really boring.

[Asker]

I get everything that you are saying but wouldn't you be creeped out by a guy randomly being vulnerable and emotional after not speaking for years?

[Babygirliiw]

Not really. I mean the first text didn’t get a response so why not go for meat and potatoes?

[Asker]

First let me thank you for being patient and continuing to respond.

In your eyes what action or what text would be the "meat and potatoes"?

[Babygirliiw]

Thanks.
Just open your heart. I feel ____ about you, I want to take you on a date etc. you’re the man so you have to lead

[Asker]

I will definitely utilize this. I'm not afraid to lead but she clearly isn't interested in me. The past is in the past so anything at this point is a fresh start. Currently we only follow each other on TikTok and that's it. I asked her if her phone number was the same and she said yes. I don't know if she is waiting for me to take the lead or if she is just indifferent towards me.

[Babygirliiw]

She said yes… sounds like she is waiting for you to move things forward. Go get what you want, you have the vision.

[Asker]

She said yes in regards to her phone number being the same but when I asked if I could text her she didn't respond

[Babygirliiw]

Ah just text her lol. Don’t be afraid at all. Go get your woman dude!

[Asker]

I love the confidence you have in me but if you were in my situation and seen our interactions you wouldn't do it.

[Babygirliiw]

Why lol what interactions hve you had. Did you tell her in the past that you wanted to smell her or something weird

[Asker]

Lol no nothing like that. I just sent a bunch of long cringe text messages. I essentially made it seem like she owed me a relationship.

[Babygirliiw]

Lol so you were emotional and now you realize how silly you were being. It happens. As long as you’re more stable now and have open expectations that she might not want exactly what you want from the relationship… just go with the flow. You can only do your part and hope she sees the value in it. If not then move on to a better fit for you

[Asker]

Definitely. Word for word what would say to her if you was me?

[Babygirliiw]

I acted stupid before and I regret it. I still have feelings for you, want to get to know you better. Honestly you have to word it cause otherwise it might sound silly cause im a girl writing this so you have to say it like a man would say it. And don’t put pressure on her just be like yeah let’s go out and have a fun time (not sexually just have fun). Don’t let her have to make any decisions. Women wanna be led

[Asker]

I'll give it a shot. I just find it hard to believe she didn't respond to the text I stated in the question because it was boring. I thought by me asking how have you been I was giving her an opportunity to talk about herself which I was told woman like.

[Babygirliiw]

Ah no. You always wanna be dominant and fun and make it interesting just a little. Yes she wants to talk about her feelings but why should she wanna talk
About them to YOU? You have to show your heart and soul, engage her genuinely. Like show who you are and where you are coming from. Never hide or try to say stuff you think will please her. It has to be real. Don’t be fake cause imagine you marry her… you’d be stuck being a fake person for decades. Never do that.

[Asker]

I honestly don't know how to do that because I genuinely struggle to talk to women especially ones that I find attractive.

[Billlewis]

Yes, ma'am, I just started following you and I'd be honored if you'd like to follow me as well, if that's alright. Thank you very much.

[In_Trance]

Who is the woman

[Asker]

A woman I know from years back

[In_Trance]

Has she moved on? Did you use to fuck her?

[Asker]

It looks like she moved on. I never f**ked her

[In_Trance]

You're wasting your time