Any tips for (divorced) men 50+ who want to find their true love?

[Anonymous]

My neighbor got divorced 3 years ago with 2 kids. I feel really sorry for him because he is a very sensitive friendly and intelligent guy but he is very awkward with women and out of practice after being in a relatinship with his ex wife for 9 years. I’d like to help him find a suitable woman but given my limited dating experience I don’t know how. Do you have any tips how men his age (49) could find love again? He is successful, loves his job, has a house with a nice garden and two lovely children

[BonzoInBitburg]

I was in a similar spot a few years ago and it's totally doable. He has good green flags and that should give him some confidence. A friendly guy with a good job, nice house and family should attract a good woman. Being awkward can be fixed if he friendzones every woman he meets. It's much easier for a guy to talk to a woman who he sees as a friend than someone he's trying to date. Be his friend and encourage him to practice walking up to women in public and starting a conversation without any intention of getting a number. Something simple like asking a woman how to pick out a watermelon, or at a department store and ask a woman to help pick out bathroom towels or throw pillows and then he should say thanks and walk away. A lot of times you'll bump into them in another part of the store for a stop and chat. Tell him to be a friendly stranger. Smile and don't go for the phone number right away. Just start simple conversations with women in public as a friend first and see where it goes. Eventually, he will get comfortable and will be shocked how many women will want to go out with him and not reject him.

[Asker]

Thing is he is a very social and chatty guy. He just comes on too strong because he lacks confidence

[BonzoInBitburg]

He can't see his green flags. He's chatty because he's nervous and doesn't know why anyone would want to date him. He needs to work on himself and turn some of the things he thinks are red flags into more green flags.

[Asker]

Yeah I tried to built up his confidence by reminding him about his great qualities but then he takes it as me being into him and starts asking me out and sending me pictures of him and his whereabouts

[Asker]

Even though I told him several times that I’m too young and not a good match for him

[BonzoInBitburg]

There's not much you can do for a guy that can't read the room.

[WindAtMyBack]

9 years doesn't sound like all that long for someone his age. If he is that awkward now, he was probably the same way before. He managed before, so he can manage again. I don't think he needs your help.

I'm not even sure if he sounds like a good catch. From glancing through your other remarks, he sounds desperate and probably clingy, neither of which are good traits.

Anyway, if you happen to run into someone who might be interested, maybe introduce them. Otherwise, he has all the normal options. I know a lot of young people complain about dating sites, but they seem to be MUCH more successful with older people. There are also meetup groups. Suggest those things, along with the typical old school methods.

But to be honest, judging from the little you've said, if he was my neighbor, I'd be reluctant to help him. I think he needs to become a whole person, and not depend on someone else to make him whole.

[Lynx122]

He just needs to get out of his mindset where he's nervous and scared to say the wrong thing to a woman and walking on eggshells he has to find a woman who treats him as the prize. But that's a personal journey I don't know how you can help him with that. Especially if he thinks you're interested in him as soon as you say anything positive.

[RealMarek]

I was a bit younger but was in a similar situation. What worked for me was to wait awhile before dating (time to heal and build confidence), being deliberate (avoiding meaningless hook-ups), and knowing what I was looking for in a woman when I was ready to date. If he’s not confident he’s not ready.

[Anonymous]

Is he even looking to be in another relationship ship? I’d say chances are if he is, that he is probably more into the old ways of courting. Meeting someone in public. Maybe he’d be up to try g a dating app, I don’t know. Me. I’ll be 46 soon so I think I’m pretty close to him in age. So if it was me I’d say I’d prefer to meet someone in public. Just randomly. I don’t want to be out there w the intention that I’m trying to find partner. I just want to run into her. When I do I’ll know.

[Asker]

Yeah he is desperately looking for a woman. And not only for sex as I assumed but for companionship, comfort and good conversations. He is a really sensitive emotional guy and craves it

[Opinion Owner]

Do you have an interest in him?

[Asker]

No but I like him really much as a friend

[Jersey2]

My father took a cruise later in life along with my mom. But the number of older single women hitting on him was a turn off. Later in life, I even had a drunk woman hitting on me with my daughter right there next to me. She gave me her number and shamelessly invited me to her home and I tore it up after she left and told my wife as my 11 year old would have said something.

[Jersey2]

So get him in a cruise :D

[Anonymous]

He's fine. I know you think you're helping him. But when you take into account all the missle twisters that are out there he's probably best right where he's at. Being a good person simply is not enough in the dating world. Just let him enjoy life with his kids.👍

[Asker]

I don’t think he is five given how desperate he has been acting with me

[Asker]

*fine

[Opinion Owner]

See just that comment alone shows you have no respect for him "desperate". It's not your job to "save" this guy. He's a man. He doesn't need saving. Where's your husband and 2 wonderful kids? If you don't even have that what makes you think you can understand ANYTHING about him?

[Asker]

Bruh, he told me I was fascinating after I talked to him ONCE and that he must see me again. That IS kind of desperate

[Opinion Owner]

I'm not your bruh, hood rat. i agree finding you fascinating is desperate behaviour. But behaving that way and being that way are not the same thing. Same as you pretending to care and actually caring are not the same thing. As I said, he'll be fine.

[Asker]

Yeah guess some boomer stranger from the internet must know better than me

[Opinion Owner]

That is correct. But you'll never be wise enough to realize that. We can hope one day though.

[SolitarySolace]

No such thing as true love. Those are words for hopeless romantics. Besides if you’re in your 50s+ just enjoy life. Go on a trip with friends. Travel the world. You don’t need a lover to do any of that shit with.

[JayBones2469]

Go to an unemployment office or a welfare office. Pick the prettiest, youngest girl there and take care of her

[Asker]

Hahahah

[Asker]

Why the youngest tho?

[JayBones2469]

Because the older a women gets the uglier she gets outside and ESPECIALLY inside.

[VV3ZZY123]

Set him up with some online dating apps. Fb dating etc.. and teach him how to use.

[Anonymous]

Over 50 he better have looks and or money/ assets. Normal woman sure as hell ain't looking for old dick.

[dustybiker2]

Join a dating app and screen woman for him.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

I think you should go on a date with him.

[Jul123]

He is too old for me

[OfDeath]

Go to South East Asia

[OtterMan68]

Good luck with that!

[Abdulwahh]

Why don't you go for him

[Abdulwahh]

Will you be open to give him a good time at times

[Jul123]

No he is too old for me

[Abdulwahh]

@Jul123 I see what your maximum age in a man

[Asker]

Around 35 and he is 49

[Abdulwahh]

I understand yes you don't want to bear kids with him and he looks like your dad or a grandpa.

[Jul123]

Yeah but also we have different goals in life and I couldn’t fulfill his needs. It’s just not a good fit

[Abdulwahh]

@Jul123 oh I see so you won't be able to fulfill he's sexual needs even plus you still very young he might be very boring.

[Asker]

No he is intellectually gifted so I’m the one who would bore him over time. Also he dreams of having kids and I could never have any

[Abdulwahh]

Oh may God make it easy for you it's not easy for many women to accept it

[Asker]

to accept what?

[Abdulwahh]

Many women who can't have children struggle to deal with it

[Asker]

i can have children i just don't want them because i dont want to get fat and also im way too egotistical to raise them properly.

[Abdulwahh]

Okay

[vicphilips]

You Want to be with him?

[Asker]

No that’s why I want to ship him with someone else