Are there any men who are consciously looking for a serious RELATIONSHIP?

[Anonymous]

I’m trying to understand how men define and stick to their dating goals.. most men I encounter are not looking for anything serious or don’t have their mind set on finding a girlfriend, however sooner or later they still end up getting a girlfriend even though they weren’t looking for one in the first place. I wanna understand how their brain works in this? It seems like girls understand dating goals differently

[Anonymous]

To your initial question, yes there are many men looking for the "right" (aka Serious) relationship.

Honestly, when a guy tells you they're not looking for a serious relationship its usually them subconsiously admitting their not into you, but at the same time indicating their absolutly up for sex (as long as there are no strings). I don't believe there are many exceptions to that rule (though I guess some of them aren't even indicating the up for sex part, their just communicating their disinterest politely, and I supose some of them have been in a very disasterous marriage prior and may be unready to return to dating unless its somehow perfect).

Some guys have ludicrasly high standards, sometimes because they are in high demand with women generally, sometimes also because they are used to internet and online dating coupled with pornograpy. Such men never feel they meet someone who meets all their ideas or ideals of what they should have in a partner, and often feel they are "just waiting for the right girl" to settle down (and don't aprehend their just in an unreality bubble caused by them being in demand). Over time they will eventually encounter some girl who's more enabling than the other girls (and usually more pretty) and they then start to feel they need to chase down to 'win' her (especially if she's just as hard to tie down as they have been so far). So that's the 'unplanned' girlfriend (though some men just evenutally wind up finding their spening all their time with some girl and realise their actually happy and start feeling they need to do something to keep her and they get suddenly serious).

Now, I feel that's the above covers the very good looking, very sought after guys (which is the ones most girls are imagining when they think of a guy romantically). Then theirs the more 'ordinary' guy, and there's a big difference; The more ordinary guy is usually 'day dreaming' about the beautiful girl who gets them, the girl who isn't trying to change them and has smiles they can imagine are specially for them. This kind of guy is always serious, but is always a little chasing after a dream (so their serious about the dream girl).

I was going to go into more detail, but the shorter version is... The average women starts off in the inverse position to most men, they tend to start off very very reserved and cautious and will slowly build trust over time; Where as, the average Male starts off very certain of what and who they like, but usually the girls they like increase their level of doubts over time, making typical men get less and less certain over time. Meaning usually there comes a point where the woman is sure (from long experience of some guy) but the guy has lost most faith (due to long experience of the girl doubting them and their intentions) and usually that oddly dovetails as the average woman distrusts a guy whos overly certain too early (since she feels, how can he know? he doesn't even know me yet).

I of course massively generalise because reality is there is all kinds of guys and girls with all kinds of goals and ideas.

I don't think men have dating goals, unless you count finding a girl.

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

There are men looking for relationships. The question is are you looking for these men? To clarify, most women are looking for a shopping list of traits they want in a partner.

In most cases God himself can't meet even half of those requirements. Yes, social media has blown this subject up, but even women I've known both professionally and personally have had very unrealistic expectations.

Ultimately there is a very large portion of men that want relationships but women completely ignore them. The men they focus on, do NOT want relationships or see that woman as an option for whatever reason.

Combine that with the almost total replacement of a dating/romantic dynamic with the now popular hookup culture and you have the situation your seeing.

[Anonymous]

I'll only put in effort if I want a serious relationship with a girl.

[LazerBean]

Well yeah, plenty of them

[laly520]

yes there r n they r rare nowadays

[Danny_dan92]

Yeah

[jahaims]

Obviously