Why does my boyfriend go out to dinner with his friends all the time but will go only once in a while with me?

[Anonymous]

So, my boyfriend will take me out to eat sometimes which is nice but rarely happens, I mean we make dinner together more often then not, but he will always go out to dinner with his friends and when I say things like hey why don't we go there to sometime it's such a great place, he'll tell me it's kind of really expensive. I just don't understand, I mean he's 27 and I'm 39 so I don't know if it has something to do with that. He's never told me he was embarrassed to be seen with me, and we do go to the movies and to Walmart and such. I just done understand the dinner thing.

[Mr_twoface]

It can be really helpful to have an open and honest conversation with him about how you're feeling. It's important to focus on your feelings rather than making accusations. For example, "I feel a bit left out when I see you enjoying dinners with your friends and not with me”. You can also ask him why he prefers to go out with his friends. It is important that you make sure he knows that you enjoy the time you spend together at home too, but that you also want to experience those special moments outside of the home. Remind him that it's not about the money or the place, but about spending quality time together. You could look for more affordable dining options that you both can enjoy. Remind him that it's not about the money or the place, but about spending quality time together. Maybe you could look for more affordable dining option, something you both can enjoy. An alternative would be to propose a compromise where you both can enjoy going out more often. You could suggest setting a specific time each month for a special dinner date.

It might be useful to reflect on whether the age difference is playing a role. Younger people sometimes have different social habits and preferences. When you are young, you often want someone older to be with but generally your level of maturity will still remain the same and hence going out with friends may be more enjoyable and talkative than going on dinners with you.

[Asker]

I never really thought about the maturity level. Makes sense though

[Anonymous]

My first thought was is it a financial thing? If he’s out w his friends chances are they all pay for their own food. Plus I’m not sure if they go to places that aren’t as expensive compared to places you want to go. Also I’m not sure if he foots the entire bill or not when he takes you out. I’ve been in relationship too where all the girl did was complain when I’d take her out. So I put an end to that by cutting her loose. Exactly how much time does he spend w you? How long have you two been together?

[Asker]

Well we've been together for over a year but 9 months out of that year he was in Iraq. So we are trying to get reacquainted, and he opened up to me a few weeks ago telling me that he scared of being hurt again and getting attached to little guys again. His ex wife really tucked with him. Plus he's always been in long distance relationships I am his first in person relationship. He asked me to be patient with him, and that when he's around he loves it, he enjoys being with me , but the emotions and lovey mushy stuff drains him and he needs time to recharge, he said with his friends there's no emotions. And asked me to be patient with him. I gave him an out if he wanted it and he said no, he doesn't want out he just needs time, my support, space, and needs me to respect his boundaries

[Asker]

And he sees me on the weekends

[Opinion Owner]

At least you know now what’s going on. I hope things workout better for the two of
You. I can relate to his situation I spent 10 years in the service. My ex from high school of 3 years cheated on me too when I was in the service.

[Asker]

I'm sorry, that's awful. And thank you

[Asker]

In your opinion do you think I should stay, be patient and see where this goes? Or should I walk away

[Opinion Owner]

I’d be patient. Give it some time. I mean unless he’s done something to make you question his loyalty aside from not spending as much time w you, I’d wait a little while. But I have to be honest. How old is he? At first I thought maybe you two were in your 20s, but you’re not. I’d think by now maybe most people would be over something like this if she cheated on him. But I guess it also depends on long ago that was.

[Asker]

He's 27 and I'm 39

[Opinion Owner]

But how long ago did this happen as far as his ex cheating on him?

[Asker]

Dec. Of 2022

[Asker]

He just broke up with me today, he told me he has so much going on and he is emotionally and mentally drained, and doesn't want to half ass our relationship because it's not fair to me or him. He told me he cares deeply for me and it breaks his heart to have to do this. When he came to pick up his things he hugged me and kissed my forehead telling me to give him a few weeks and then we would revisit the relationship.

[Opinion Owner]

lol I’d move on. He’s almost 40. I’m thinking he has met someone else. What were your thoughts when he told you this?

[Asker]

Confused I was confused, and he's 27 and I'm almost 40

[Opinion Owner]

Ok. I see. Yes more than likely he met someone his age or younger.

[Asker]

So this is day 3 after he asked for a pause, he has video chatted with me every night to say goodnight, he has sent me sexual Pics and videos, has called me babe and baby via snap and just last night he said he loved me via snap.

[Asker]

He was also being goofy with me

[Asker]

But he doesn't want to see eachother in person yet

[Opinion Owner]

lol move on, he’s playing you. Why not meet someone around your age?

[Anonymous]

He’s embarrassed. He’s using u for hookup. If he saw u as something potential he would provide and protect

[Asker]

Hmmm I'd don't think so, he's always told me he doesn't need me for sex he's got his hand

[LaurenM1997]

Cause he wants to spend more time with his friends I’m afraid you aren’t his priority

[LaurenM1997]

I would have a talk with him sit him down and say you aren’t happy that he’s spending more time with his friends and you would like to spend time with him see what he says if he kicks off about it then he’s not for you

[Lliam]

You should rethink your relationship. He seems to enjoy being with his "bros" more than being with you. That is so weird. I suspect that he mainly likes you for sex.

He values his relationship with dudes more than his relationship with you.

I doubt if he has any intention of marrying you. If he did, he would leave you alone, just as he does now.

Find a new boyfriend who enjoys your company, loves being with you and doing things together.

[Finchie40]

Because his friends are more of a priority to him than you are to him. Be careful with dating a guy that does that to you , that can easily be a red flag that he Might be up to no good.

[he-takes-a-part]

Silly talks and repeated tonal conversations feels more locked and that personality ffo him with you feels cage is full. More open amongst friends and less tensed. Maybe you judge him and try to be a teacher attitude hence. Take side of him in situations it will help.

[Sagee1]

Is it just his friends or does he keep you away from his family also? Do both of you have the same goals in this relationship? Just assess the situation and make sure that you are both looking for the same things. Also, don't take it personal. Most people aren't fun to be around like a bro's buddies usually are.

[Asker]

I have never met his family, they know about me though, the friends he goes out with I have met

[aherrerap]

Maybe he has more fun with his friends than he does with you.
Does he laugh with you?
Sometimes we feel like we have to pay for all and there's nothing fun, the lady just sits there to be attended like a queen and nothing else.

[Asker]

I'm not high maintenance and yes when we are together we laugh and play it's great

[summiter]

It seems like he thinks his friends are more important. Ask him why. Maybe try asking him out to dinner a few times.

[DrPepper12]

Cheap? Wrong priorities? Possibly embarrassed? Thinks that you prefer dinner homemade?

[saltwater84]

Mine is 29 and I am 39 and he is the same too he hues to the restaurant bars with friends and only Walmart with me. Lol he says he is not ashamed of me or anything but now that I read you I doubt that

[LaurenM1997]

@saltwater84 only at Walmart with you? Smh 🤦‍♀️ I wouldn’t be with him I’d go find someone else who wants to be with you who wants to go out on dates and stuff he sounds boring

[saltwater84]

@LaurenM1997 yep I agree , actually I just got bored enough to laugh it off , I am done done lol

[LaurenM1997]

@saltwater84 you are leaving him?

[molonski2]

He'd be pretty embarrassed because you are that much older , just shows he has mother issues , so naturally he is going to prefer to go to dinner with his mates , where other opportunities will present. Dont ever do things like washing or cooking for this bloke , he just wants the mother figure , have seen this happen sooooooooo many times , and know what these kind of guys will be saying behind your back.

[Asker]

@molonski2 what would these kind of men be saying?

[HighValue]

How about you offer to pay for the date instead?

[Asker]

I have and he won't let me

[Abdulwahh]

I can't really tell there could be many reasons 1) he probably sees he's friends much less, because he lives with you.
2) i dont think that the age is the problem if you still attractive and pretty.

[Asker]

We don't live together

[boggboss]

Because he doesn't feel like it's needed or required to take u out to dinner

[jahaims]

When he goes with friends he doesn't have to pay for you.

[SotiCoto]

Less pressure.

[KrakenAttackin]

Because you aren't much fun to be with.