How can you be an extrovert?

Question

I'm an introvert and i feel very lonely all the time but as i find it hard to make friends , can anybody give me some ideas to be better at communication and friendly? I wanna change my life and enjoy outside my room. I'm bored of reading and watching series alone.

CrabCakes11 · Accepted Answer

Introversion means that you prefer small groups of people and need breaks from social interaction, not that you’re anti/asocial. Try group activities that facilitate social interaction

WhitneySnow · Accepted Answer

It takes a lot of willpower, but after a while it starts to feel natural. You have to force yourself to love interacting with people and just hanging out with them.

uncleBobbyb77 · Answer

It's not going to be easy but there are a few fairly simple things you can work on that will help. I'm guessing you're probably an over agreeable personality that is very self-analytical which means you're your own harshest judge and perhaps are always questioning or doubting yourself and that's in part why you find it intimidating to go out in public and make new friends. If I'm not way off and this is correct there's a few videos on YouTube by Dr Jordan Peterson that I believe address this very issue in a very relatable, comprehensive, articulate, manner. I believe one of them is called "stop being too nice" or "stop being too agreeable" something like that and to be honest any of the tips that I would list here are more than likely something that I got from listening to Dr Petersons videos while I work or am driving. He's probably my favorite person alive today that I've never met and would most like to have lunch and a conversation with and his story and what he's trying to do for society today is quite extraordinary and he ought to run for Office to replace Justin Trudeau as the Canadian Prime Minister but I digress. One thing I can say that is my own thought and a self-realization that truly helped me is to try and realize that you can't really be having self esteem problems or doubting your self worth if there is anything, ANYTHING you do that you always insist on doing yourself and do not trust anyone else to do just the way you want or need it done. If you can have that sort of trust and belief in yourself for one thing you can use that as a springboard and foundation for expanding that self-confidence into other areas of your life. Quit worrying about what other people are thinking about you. No matter what you do, how hard you try, or how awesome you truly are, only about 1/3rd of everyone you will ever know is going to genuinely like you and want you to be around, while also being open and ready on a personal level to make the personal connection necessary to make being a real friend even possible. 1/3rd will be indifferent and not really care. This group won't really have anything against you and will get along just fine with you but there won't be any extra spark. They may just be too involved with their own personal issues and thus are too closed off to make any real, new connections with people, or there's just may not be a lot in common, or whatever. The other 1/3rd will never be able to perceive your true value and will just not like you. This doesn't mean that there is anything not worth liking about you. It does mean that they themselves have personal issues, and shortcomings, while also are operating from an understanding of who you are from a woefully incomplete and inadequate base of information and interaction with you that is necessary to help them overcome any sort of preconceived, prejudiced misperception of who you are. A good majority of this group is likely to be emotionally stunted. Of course your feeling socially awkward doesn't help things unless perhaps someone is perceptive enough to recognize this and find it endearing and cute. Through personal experience I've found that as long term friends the socially awkward can often be the most loyal but you have to be patient enough to get through the initial stages of development in the friendship/relationship where it may feel like they are high maintenance and take a lot out of you. This is because they are starving for the same things that compelled you to ask this question. If a man is starving and dehydrated he will gobble and gulp at first when given food and water. Once he's had enough to satiate the hunger pains he will be able to relax and not so anxious or needy. The same is true with the "clinginess" and most of the other quirks that may sometimes seem like they are just too much. This is a generalization but seems fairly accurate based on my personal experiences. Just try and assume everyone already likes you when you arrive and that you don't need to impress anyone since they already like you. This will help you feel more comfortable when the opportunity for conversation does come up. Also don't be a people pleaser all the time. Don't be afraid to say what you feel. I'm not saying share every thought or feeling. Be selective but trust in your thoughts, feelings, and ideas to be valid especially if you have taken the time or have some experience with whatever subject is at hand. You probably already understand that just because one person's opinion is valid it does not mean another's is invalid. I'm digressing. It does help if you do have someone familiar to go with you and is safer if you do. Be careful and don't take a drink from anything you didn't order or left unattended. Just saying, better safe than sorry but also better to have lived and loved and lost than to not have lived or loved at all. It is always, ALWAYS the things I didn't do or say that I regret more than anything I have ever done or said at the end of the day. You have value and are worth the effort. Anyone wheo deserves to have a friend like you will see it and treat you accordingly. Just be the kind of friend you want to have. It is simple. It's not always easy but it is simple. If the right thing to do or way to be was easy then everyone would do it. Be you.. with a little room to grow, and stay true.

TheRealPepperPotts · Answer

I'm technically an INTJ, for what it's worth, so we are close personality-wise. But your personality, in theory, needs to have a deep and meaningful purpose or cause. INFJ's theoretically feel things deeply, and tend to neglect themselves to care for others. The title for you is Advocate, so starting with being your own best advocate could be something to practice.

You'll never be an extrovert, but that's OK. We need more introspective thinkers in the world. I think what you are needing is actually better social skills, not to become an extrovert. Introverts can actually be better at socialization because they have to practice and work on social skills. Extroverts just have to be loud and they get attention, but as they get older, they can start to become obnoxious and shallow (unless they've picked up some skills along the road from people ignoring them, awkward situations and higher education).

Work on taking care of yourself, getting a better education, getting outside, volunteering at a place that won't drain you, and generally learning your likes and dislikes is a good place to start. Pursuing those things will lead you to places where you'll likely meet more people you can relate to. Then, you can apply social skills like active listening, asking questions that require more than yes or no answers, etc. Also, finding a few safe older people (grandparents can be good) who you can talk to and learn from can be a huge help.

I was the same at 18, although I didn't really mind it. I used the time to pay attention and learn, and I eventually figured it out to the point where people don't believe I'm an introvert. :) You'll get there, just give yourself grace and realized that most people in your age group are immature and lack some social skills.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

You can't suddenly wake up one morning and say.. RIGHT, that's it I'm going to be extroverted, because as hard as you try, you'll still be shy inside.

So how DO you do it? Well think about all the things you do which make you shy. Do you:-

1) care how others perceive you?

2) worry you might make a fool of yourself?

3) worry you aren't good enough to be in other people's company?

4) get nervous in crowds of people?

5) Overthink things?

---------------------------------------

There are a number of other traits I could mention, but you get the point. Make a list of EVERYTHING you think should be on that list

Once a week, (no more) put yourself in a position that will make you nervous (NEVER in anything dangerous, as this is an exercise to help bring you out of your shell) and then put a tick by that number.

After you have reached five ticks for every section, things get more difficult as you can only add a tick from here on in IF you feel you have successfully negotiated that option to your satisfaction. .

When you have reached 10 ticks for each of these? Then you can say with confidence you are a successful extrovert!

Good luck, although if you follow that advice? You won't need luck!

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

You can’t change your nature. You can only make the most of it.
First of all, you didn’t really describe the behavior of an introvert. You described that of a shy person or an agoraphobe. You should know the difference and what your precise case is before you formulate a plan for change.
Think of the introvert/extrovert scale based on the idea of a “social battery”. Introverts are drained by social interactions and recharge by being alone or with a small number of close friends or family. Extroverts are energized by social interactions and drain more quickly when there’s little to no stimuli.
If you are a true introvert, you just need to make the most of your up time. It will be difficult to make and keep friends because people who don’t really understand introversion will simply think you’re standoffish or selfish. You’ll need to surround yourself with people who are comfortable with spontaneity. So when you wake up and need to be social, you can call or text and have plans immediately. Making plans CAN work, but it’s not a sure thing. You may end up canceling or flaking more often than not because you were up when you made the plans and you’re down when time comes to go & do. Planning your downtime in order to have planned uptime is more difficult, but doable.
If you’re not a true introvert, i can’t help. I’m neither shy nor agoraphobic. I know too little about both beyond that they’re too frequently conflated with introversion.

Levin · Answer

Aww, sweet Flora.

Introversion just means you get your energy from being alone. So it's not that you don't like being social, it's that you prefer quality over quantity.

Why do you think you find it hard to make friends?

Tbh, it's all about practice and putting yourself outside of your comfort zone. It makes you nervous before hand but then when you accomplish it you feel so good about yourself.

What are your hobbies and interests. What would you like to do? What kind of people would you like to meet?

Purpleronnie · Answer

First of all being an introvert , if that is a true diagnosis of your personality is not a handicap but you seem to think it is? , that your somehow less than because. If it? Secondly , introversion and extroversion are at two opposite ends of the spectrum and so you lie somewhere along the spectrum it’s not binary or polar … one or the other ! .

Finally , embrace who you are , love you for who you are regardless of a label that could be placed upon your personality , the confidence that comes from self acceptance is actually a really attractive quality , that’s what others will see … not that your an extrovert or an introvert.

Leapfrog00 · Answer

You could go somewhere like a coffee shop and become a regular customer. Eventually, people will start remembering your name and maybe even begin striking up conversations with you.

Churches are friendly places too, if you're into religion.

Go to 16personalities. com and that the Myers-Briggs personality test. When you get your results, provide your email address. They give great tips for introverts. I found out I'm an INFP, so I'm extremely introverted, lol... So introverted that my personality prefers animals over people.

I'm a shy person too though.

Their website gives a lot of information for introverts on how to be more of an introvert.

Visit the site. Trust me!

Sonorous · Answer

What helped me a lot in school when I was pretending to be one was to put on a slightly character that nobody would take seriously enough for me to actually link their responses to my existence with my true identity. If anyone didn't like me, in my mind, they just didn't like the character I was using & I could simply switch to a different one that would please them more... Yeah I was a little sociopathic as a kid.

BetaBucks · Answer

I look at this question the same way I look at "how can I be strong." The answer is always to practice. Sure some people are naturally strong/extroverted but many have to work for it. If you want it.

For you, just get out there as much as you can tolerate, in as safe of an environment as you need. Things like Yoga/exercise classes, are an easy in. There are also social groups you can find online through apps, like Meetup. They're filled with people learning to be more social.

DrPepper12 · Answer

HS, college, coworkers, neighbors and your kids friends parents are the top five. After that it's very difficult. Force yourself to be uncomfortable. You need a wacko wingman who won't take no for an answer when she wants to do indoor rock climbing. Are you headed to college?

Unit1 · Answer

I find it pretty hard to exhibit extrovert habits when average people turn out to be political militants, transphobes, hostile just because, xenophobes, religious fanatics, homophobes, junkies in the making pulling me with them into their demise, racist... the list goes on and on.

I have a friend, where some of our views and philosophies contradict directly like on a black and white level but we are closely befriended regardless. That's an example i wish to see happening more.

gorydetails · Answer

The first thing you need to do is make yourself interesting. Find a hobby and a passion. Preferably something that is social (think of a sports team vs. knitting). From there you will have something to talk about with other people who share your interests.

AlinaJanowska18 · Answer

I had the same problem as a child. Just start saying hello to passers-by, and smile, say compliments and wish the seller in the store a good day. And so, step by step, you will be able to overcome social phobia.

dustybiker2 · Answer

Martial arts can help. They build confidence and teaches self defense (which I highly recommend to anyone) win win.

LiamJHayden · Answer

I think the key is to be happy with yourself and not feel the need for validation from others. It might be counterintuitive, but it makes it easy when you do not feel stressed about whether the other people like you or not.

ChicoFromThe305 · Answer

The skill to socialize is acquired through socializing unfortunately so you'd have to socialize with people to get better at it, sucks I know

Anonymous · Answer

One step at a time. You can't wake up one day a decide, "hey I'm going to be extroverted". But you can become that way more so over time. But you HAVE to go against what comes natural to you. And that won't be easy or quick.

Awesomesauce2005 · Answer

It seems as though 100% of women i meet are introverts. I am an extravert and i think i get on their nerves becaise i always want to talk to them.

DreamLife7 · Answer

You have to put yourself out there. Start going to public places alone that require you to socialize such as local events.

moneymagnet24 · Answer

You're cute... Be confident go slow make few girl friend go out with them you will automatically change.

Emmytexrex · Answer

You just have to work on your social skills Like how you talk and relate with people

Loner111 · Answer

Try going out more. But, honestly, u can only pretend for so long. Best to just be urself.

NathanDavis · Answer

share rooms at University

Rangers · Answer

If you feel lonely without people around you, then you're not an introvert

Iron_Man · Answer

I’m not I have motivation I’m a good talker

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