How do I become more extroverted?

[Anonymous]

I'm an introvert and I've got adhd and Autism Lvl 1. I'm out of high school for 2 1/2 years now. I was in a relationship before for 3 years and we just drifted away, (she was the one who asked me out) I was trying to focus on myself trying to become Sportsman. I got called up to practice with pros domestically, and I performed quite well. A week after I got called up to practice with the pros, my girlfriend and I broke up. I dealt with ok because I thought we'd get back together cos we've never broken up before. I thought that's what couples do. This was 30 Jan. 14 Feb she's got a new boyfriend and I have a breakdown I've never felt heartbroken before. She was upset because whenever we went out I'd never kiss her. I couldn't because this was before the vaccine and a bit after and so many family friends had passed. I didn't want to be the weak link in my family also side note my dad has diabetes. I would never forgive myself. I tried explaining it to her but I don't know.
So I get injured and I started this sports rehab a physio recommended. So I haven't been playing for a while. But it's my ultimate dream to become a pro athlete.
If my dreams does not workout I'd want to go into carpentry.
I know this is all over the place.
I'm saving myself for marriage.
I have a crush on this girl she's really religious. She is really smart and and kind. I know her because my aunt and her mom are best friends and sometimes I used to see her there. I never really interacted with her. I Dmd her and she does remember me.
We don't go to the same Uni, we don't have common friends. I'd appreciate any help you give me!
I'm not sure how to casually hang out.
Or what to say next.
Also I'm not expecting anything from this.

I don't see my high school friends at uni we drifted a bit. I almost forgot how to make friends. Because I'm not really interacting with anyone. I'm quiet and I just do my thing in the gym. Could anybody help me out?

[PrettyPriya]

That is tough to change who you are. My best advice is to embrace who you are and not look at it as a negative. Now, that said, I can at least make some suggestions that could help you out.

One would be to find a local activity club or group. Something that you are interested in. You will find likeminded people that will want to chat and perhaps form friendships. That doesn't mean you have to be super outgoing.

Let others come to you and start conversations. Allow yourself to open up slowly and at your own level of comfort. This is just general advice for getting more open and extroverted.

Now, onto the girl you like. Is she the same way as you? Is she shy and introverted? A little more context about who she is might help me give some better advice.

If you have anything else you can add, use the update box to update your question and help users give the best opinions possible. I will certainly reply and update my opinion if I think I can be of help with this girl you have a crush on.

[Asker]

She's nerdy and she's an extrovert she's really a well rounded person. I fear rejection , so messaging her already felt like a big step.
I really appreciate your help.

[PrettyPriya]

Thanks for the extra info! So, you already messaged her then?

[Asker]

Yeah I messaged her but we ended the convo saying enjoy the rest of your week to which she replied Thanks <3!
You too x

[PrettyPriya]

That is great!!! That is a super positive step and message from her. She definitely wants to take that next step and see if there is something there. That is my opinion anyhow.

Okay, so I would recommend mentioning something non date-like. For example, a simple lunch, walk, something with her church she is involved with.

You can simply send a message saying that you have enjoyed chatting with her and wondered if maybe sometime she would like to meet up in person (or insert lunch, movie, walk, etc). You got this!!

[Asker]

I think this is a great idea! Thanks! Because it will give me the chance of knowing her better.

[PrettyPriya]

Yep! It is just a simple lets get together thing. Doesn't have to be a serious date. Plenty of time for that once you two get some time together. Best of luck to you, and if you don't mind... come back and update us how it went!! 🙂

[LazerBean]

Drifting is common, and it's just a part of life. If you are not involved in a local church, that will help. As for the girl, I would just ask her on a casual date.

[Asker]

Thanks !

[Insaniacthemaniac]

To be honest with you man its pretty difficult to changr from a introvert to an extrevert, i wouldn't bother trying to be honest as it really isn't as easy as that. It is a key feature to your personality, its what makes you who you are. I would try using it to your advantage, but if you insist that you want to do it then take up sports like rugby, lift weights and go out to the bars more often to socialise.

[Asker]

That's the people at my club ask me to go and have a beer all the time, but my religion strictly prohibits drinking. I'd feel guilty about it even just being in that environment. Thanks for your reply I really appreciate it.

[Insaniacthemaniac]

Ahh i see the issue. Then you need to just put yourself in social situations. Here is a list of things that doesn't involve alcohol

- Meet up ( global website for meeting people )

- Running club

-Traveling

-Dogs

-Studying

-Horse riding

- From my personal experience having a dog can be excellent for socialising as generally people who have dogs go to parks and often people will want to stop so the dogs can sniff eachother/play so I'd definitely consider that! Hope this helps :)

[Guy13]

It sucks when relationship sort just stop. Good luck with the sporting dream. At least you can focus on all that and just see what happens with the lady. Good luck with all of it !!

[Avicenna]

This isn't something that random strangers online can really help you with. I'd recommend first talking to a therapist to help come up with some strategies.

[Asker]

I tell my dad about getting a Therapist he just says it's for white people or it's for people who don't know how to spend money.

[dustybiker]

Maybe join a local hobby class? Ask people a couple questions about themselves, be open to listen more than talk. Keep it light. Enjoy the class. Relax. You’ll gather friends this way.

[nawtee_me]

get out more...

[RandomGuy1032]

Cocaine, alcohol.

[Anonymous]

Interesting that she asked you out