I've been an introvert for as long as I can remember, I've always kept to myself and often view the "popular crowd" very negatively, often seeing them as nothing more than immature entitled brats who will get nowhere when their parent's money runs out.
While that is most definitely a harsh characterization, it is an experience I've had frequently with those who consider themselves extroverts. I also find that these people are often real life examples of the Dunning-Krueger effect in that they're supremely confident that they know everything while simultaneously knowing absolutely nothing, which explains why these people are so liberal and dogmatic in their viewpoints.
For these reasons, I don't think it could ever work with an extrovert, although my first girlfriend was a conservative extrovert as they apparently exist, however she ended up sorta not really cheating on me. She ghosted me after being official for 6 months and reappeared only when I begged someone who knew her for an explanation and she'd gone with someone else as she then told me.
I've become much more assertive in the past year but still remain an introvert, not liking big crowds and rarely enjoying small talk unless it's with my current girlfriend who I've been with for the past 2 years following the fiasco that my ex created above. I see most extroverts as people who simply follow the herd, not taking a single moment to question what they're being told, or not being capable of thinking for themselves. Of course that isn't true for all of them but it is in my experience for most of them.
My girlfriend has become more assertive as well, not afraid to present an opposing argument and won't nod her head simply to avoid a debate. I'm the same way and the idea of nodding my head in agreement or staying quiet when I have an opposing opinion is a crazy idea to me. Me and my girlfriend are doing great and I couldn't be happier with her☺️ Do you date introverts or extroverts?
I would like to believe that the women voting for introverts are being honest with themselves.
I am personally an ambivert i. e. about 65% introverted and 35% extroverted. I actually love meeting new people but i have only a very small circle of true friends I completely trust. I also don’t mind group settings as long as it done in cycles. I can’t be in group settings all the time (introvert characteristic) but i also go nuts after being isolated for a while (extrovert characteristic). During the lockdown I thought I was going to go insane not being able to see people face to face. However the big silver lining was that it taught me there is a solid chunk of extrovert in me.
Anyway without a doubt I got more positive female attention in my extrovert moments. Women are more like 85% into extroverts and 15% into introverts in western countries. They like being entertained and having some do the attention work and conversation for them. However this was different in some eastern counties I’ve visited. I noticed Asian women tend to like introverts more.
I agree with what you've said. I do think though that how a guy conducts himself, whether introverted or extroverted can play a big part in receiving positive female attention. This article puts things a bit more into perspective when it comes to extrovert/introvert www.theloveconsultants.com/.../
Did you find your introverted qualities helped you even in extroverted situations?
@MoniqueTLC I’ll be honest it’s been tougher lately. I had some challenging things happen in my personal life and I am less comfortable in extroverted situations. A true extrovert can actually look forward to group settings to gain positive energy. I don’t look forward to group situations lately
@MoniqueTLC I am trying to get out there again. But I got a personal struggle going on that I can and won’t talk about outside groups were confidentially is enforced.
I’d probably date favourably an introvert since I’m an introvert too. I feel often judged by others and I’m afraid of judice, so I would feel unease to contain extroversion of my partner only to satisfy my desire of tranquillity. Or, on the other hand, I would feel unease too to follow her on social events or crowded disco clubs. I’d prefer a person who has the same attitude to life as me so there won’t be great sacrifices to do from any part.
I also usually feel unease with person expressing too directly what they think and their emotions, without measures, I usually don’t know how to behave with them. I would feel really in difficulty to manage such person, despite the sentiment.
My ex was an introvert, but I found that we ended up missing out on things because we'd use each other as a crutch to not interact with others when we moved into a dorm. My boyfriend now is an extrovert, but I find we balance each other out. He can bear the brunt of social situations for me sometimes, and gets me out of my comfort zone which is good for me. On the other hand I've taught him to spend a bit less time with others, and to be more introspective. But to be fair, my boyfriend and I now still spend most of our time just with each other, so I'm not constantly dragged out with him to see people which would be annoying if that were the case.
This is an interesting take on this. I think it will ultimately depend on the qualities of the person. Of course, if you're and introvert dating an extroverts, there needs to be compromise and respect for each other when it comes to doing things that your partner may not feel comfortable with (eg; going out clubbing when they'd much rather stay at home) Communication would be so important if the relationship is with an introvert and extrovert. I do think this type of relationship has it's benefits as your partner would help you expand out of your comfort zone.
I never thought about that. I’m an extrovert but I don’t mind dating either. As long as we are good together, we can always compromise. If he wants to stay in and be in our pjs all day watching movies or just make love, I’m all for it. Or I can invite him out to go meet some friends or family. Or take him out dancing with me and have some wings. Or just get away from the world and just go wherever as long as I’m with him. I love that.
You sound like a great girlfriend. I’m mostly introverted but it would be nice to have someone who can encourage me to step outside of my comfort zone every once in a while
@WhiteBoyChill isn’t that what love or relationship is all about? Building each other up? Once you find someone whom you can feel you can be comfortable with your true self and they embrace that, then they’re the one.
I'm an introvert who can carry a conversation and be around large groups for short periods of time. I'd rather spend time gardening, writing, reading, biking, in nature, somewhere. Though a concert is a tolerable group experience, they're something I rarely do and you have to choose your exposure to such events. I hang with small groups of friends or by myself.
When Yellowstone recovers by next year, my plan is to go hiking with my adult son and see it. Have a lot of weightlifting and "pre" hiking experiences to do before attempting to see such a huge park. Bryce Canyon is supposed to be another natural wonder. The Everglades, also. Diving the Great Barrier Reef. Black Sea, Adriatic.
People get recharged in different ways. I need down time and quiet. Others need to be life of the party people. That fires them up. I don't think this has anything to do with money. It has to do with personality traits and types.
I’m this way as well. I can be and have fun in crowds and large groups of people, but if given the option I will avoid it. Even with my small groups of friends sometimes I’ll come up with an excuse just to hang out by myself at home.
@DarkWinterNights When I decide I'm going to be out at an event with groups of people I'm committed. The thing is to limit your time with groups. I dont come up with excuses. I go and limit my exposure.
I enjoy being with people, and have never depended on my parents money thank you. I've tried dating introverts, but it doesn't work. I want to do things I enjoy on a date, and that often includes being with friends. But introverts are usually very uncomfortable with that. I also have had introverts say they hate people. Introverts are usually most comfortable other introvert. Extroverts will usually be wanting to try and get introverts "to come out of their shell". So unless you really want to be more out, don't date an extrovert.
I would say I am 80/20. 80% introvert, 20% extrovert. I do like my alone time. It’s how I recharge. But I also don’t mind getting wild and crazy with people every once in a while. I would prefer to date someone who is similar to that ratio. I come from a mom who is 60/40 and a dad who is 90/10. I’ve hung out with girls that are 90/10 and 10/90. Neither of those work for me. Some of my closest female friends are exactly the same ratio and we talk frequently about why we enjoy being in the 80/20 category and would like to date close to that.
Me personally, I would rather date an introvert as I myself am one. Kind of funny, considering I played lead guitar in an original metal band for most of my life, meaning I spent a LOT of time in large crowds while getting rowdy on stage. But even then I was an introvert, it was my job and it was part of the show to be rowdy. It was part of the stage appearance. Due to this lifestyle I had to pretend to be comfortable around large groups of strangers after the show when people would start conversation with me. But when I went home, I was finally in my space where I could relax. So I prefer a woman who is the same.
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Anonymous
(18-24)
1 y
I don’t Date I’m a Virgin. People are scums of the Earth 🌎 Having sex with a girl would only lead to 1 thing Pleasure I do not want to feel. I prefer to keep My Purity I have no desire for sex. girls are hot 🥵 they turn me on but as for Putting my dick in a Dirty stinky nasty Hole I’m not doing that and It seems like a lot of work and lots of energy and effort. And I’m not willing to Put myself in a dangerous situation with a Dangerous psychopath that wants to give me a sexual disease 🦠
I’m more introverted myself but I guess it really depends on him. I’ve dated mostly extroverts, unintentionally. Since my job requires some socializing, I know how to do that. It still makes me uncomfortable though. Based on assumptions from the photo on the question— I don’t want someone who is the main life of the party type.
I'd like to date someone like myself, who enjoys their own company but recognizes the importance of maintaining a good social network and who likes going out on occasion.
I would also like to be able to go out to parties now and again.
So a mix of both is my ideal. We can take turns being the "extrovert".
I've figured out recently that I'm really an extrovert but a reserved extrovert, I really have no problems talking to anyone even girls if I feel like I'm in the right environment. But I like to keep to myself and avoid crowds usually. I'd rather date a girl that's an extrovert, because speaking from experience introvert girls that don't talk much are boring.
Introvert. The girl who's the life of the party is an attention whore. She actively seeks the attention of other men. That's not a girl I want to keep around. She's the fun girl. You can hit it and quit it or she can be a regular booty call, but she's not wife material. Or even long term girlfriend material. If she can't dedicate the majority of her energy to me or say no to other men, then she belongs to the streets.
I dated a girl who was an introvert. It was like talking to brick wall. I began to realize that she was an introvert because she had zero intellect. She couldn't talk because she didn't know what to talk about. Horrible.
As an introverted guy myself, I would definitely rather stick with my own kind. After all, even if we are short of words, we can still cuddle and look up at the stars and do nice things.
Also her being introverted means less time she spends with other people, and presumably more time with me.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
1 y
doesn't matter to me really. I have no real preference in that.
"often view the "popular crowd" very negatively, often seeing them as nothing more than immature entitled brats who will get nowhere when their parent's money runs out."
Exactly Why i am childfree and rather spend my money on myself.
I feel people are not completely introvert or extrovert. Its more like introv. in some aspects and extrov. in others. Mix of both. Thats how I am. Though I don't have any preference but would like a mix of both in my partner. Extro in aspects where I am introv to encourage me to come out of my comfort zone.
I'm very introverted, and whilst I would like someone who can relate to my awkward qualities, I would also like them to be somewhat extroverted to help bring me out of my shell.
I seem like nine times out of 10 the guys I’ve dated have been more extroverted in myself but at the same time I feel like I meant extroverted introvert if that makes any sense
I'd rather be at home more than in some kind of club or out partying, the latter doesn't appeal to me.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
1 y
As an ambivert i always feel like i can easily adapt and adjust in a few things in my life. It’s like having a double personality and i feel they can be useful and functional plus gives me a lot of benefits. Although introverts can be lame and boring, extroverts also can be lame and annoying. Different energies between both. But it’s not bad if both introvert and extrovert can somewhat balance it out. I’d go with extroverts
