Older men between 36 and 47 how do you find dates or do you even consider a serious relationship anymore?

Question

I've never been a social person.

at an earlier age I thought I found someone I loved, but he just used me or just didn't actually love me or like me all these years. I don't know how to make friends and he dropped me like I'm nothing even after all these years. So I'm alone without a love life and without any friendship life.

I don't go anywhere, I have no-one to go with, I heard that what usually happens in online dating is men use it to just hook up and bounce and that some women do that as well, alongside other creepier stories about people killing the person they meet

well even with all that, I decided to join one but it just seems it's not working for me and don't really want to put out a photo of myself there because scared if anyone from my family will see it and think I'm desperate or something lol

I just turned 37

I feel sad and alone. how did this happen to me. it's rather pathetic.

I know this is not a dating site but is there any decent non psycho charismatic men on here searching or having similar story to mine who are maybe between 36 and 47?

kmg9150 · Accepted Answer

I'm got the same situation as you. First off, stop worrying what your fam might think. If they're going to hate and talk about, then let them and go live your life, don't need family like that. Second, well should be the first, stop the self deprecating. It's bad for a whole slew of reasons, but in short, how can you be anything other than what you think about yourself which is how others will see you as well.

Get off the I tried it once and it just didn't work so Im not going to try it again bs. This surely can't be how you approach all aspects of your life? If you dont try then you will get no results. Its like when a guy is scared if rejection, he ain't going to be putting himself out there and will prolly try to wife up the next girl that says yes... Everyone has time for things to happen are set differently. If your thinking times running out I should be married have kids and blah blah, then your going to push love away or hold onto the wrong kind. Does being alone suck, yea sorta, till you stop thinking about having to be with something and make it a choice to want to be with the right one.

Take the time and reconnect with yourself, your hobbies, your goals and such. Take some classes, pottery, art, yoga, kick boxing. When you stop looking, is when you become more magnetic and will attract friends and lovers. By that I mean go to the classes or events with the mindset of having fun, not in hopes to find someone. Dont be afraid to approach people either. One of the weirdest things I've done was ask to join a stranger alone at a restaurant. Try this, when you think about something like talking to person or going to an event and it gives you that uncomfortable feeling, you start making excuses of why you shouldn't... Then do it. We can only grow when we carry through with the things we are not used too... If you want to have bedroom companions then do that, dont let society dictate to how and where you should be at with your life and the age you are at.

Oh yeah, the dating app stigma, your letting media and hollywood fill your brain. Do you have to worry about bad shit happening, of course, but thats with any situation. Are you a murderous treacherous demon? I assume no, so its very likely most guys are in the same situation as you are that are on there. Maybe read up on red flags when first dating someone and that will help you have better judgement early on. It never hurts to walk up to a guy at the supermarket and put yourself out there as well.

Avicenna · Accepted Answer

Getting a serious relationship does become tougher because the older you get, the more dealbreakers a potential partner comes with (not just baggage, by the way), so there is an element of randomness and luck involved in finding someone suitable.

That said, I think by being opportunistic to some extent and flexible, you can improve your chances. Increase your social circle by meeting interesting people you have something in common with- even if they aren't single, they may have a friend or family member who is. Do not rely on dating apps- they are generally a waste of time for someone looking for a serious relationship, even if you eliminate the catfish, scammers, cheaters and those just looking for hookups.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Match or eharmony will be your new bff’s once you’re older.

Adronicus · Answer

I never married although I was engaged at 18. The time for a man to marry is ages 18-25, anything after it's a bad deal for men in my opinion. I'm not concerned with dating or relationships anymore, just friends with benefits'S / hookups. Society made it's choice by destroying the social contract between men / women & now it can suffer the consequences. I find a friends with benefits by making eye contact in the wild with women I'm attracted to, if they maintain that eye contact & smile I'll approach, if she plays me for a fool / games I leave & never look back, I'll find someone else instead.

Really a shame as I always wanted a family but it's too risky now days with family courts the way they are.. I don't do online dating & never would with the exception of a friend asking me to make a tinder once to see if he was doing something wrong, I deleted it shortly after. Online dating in my opinion is setting yourself up with the socially awkward AT BEST.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

I’m 41 and single as of the other week.

it’s really about getting out there and meeting people in the real world.

Ignore social media, there is a person out there, it’s just being out and socialising.

even though I have zero plans at moment to date anyone, I have been asked.

the real world is the best place and just push yourself to meet people, join clubs that interest you, do things that you like, book a holiday.

TheBigGuy9 · Answer

At the grocery store, gas station, out for pizza, etc. Every situation you’re in, if there is someone you’re interested in, feel it out and then make your decision if you’re going to ask them for their number or not. It’s good to find people that live a disciplined life.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I'll be turning 36 this year. Does that count? Lol

I certainly would like a serious relationship. I just don't care enough to pay money to eHarmony.

Why are you worried that a family member will think you're desperate? There's nothing desperate about looking for love. Besides, if they're on the site, wouldn't that put them in the same category?

CuriousMufuxka · Answer

I've considered hiring a hooker, but for reasons that have nothing to do with your question or feelings. I've just asked out women at about a 10 percent success rate. You can either sit in your own shame or go out and be shamed with the chance of being accepted.

slatyb · Answer

After divorcing I found dates on match. com. Married one of them.

Zygum · Answer

In this age range people become matured, and got awareness about life, so their relationship is long lasting, my experience

Jackson619 · Answer

Yes I because I love having a companion someone to do things with enjoy their company and if she in shape get little freaky

Anonymous · Answer

Can't even find dates, never mind more.

Philyouup · Answer

happenstance. meeting people through others

Anonymous · Answer

I'm 23 n I loved 35 age woman's 😘

Older men between 36 and 47 how do you find dates or do you even consider a serious relationship anymore?

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