So girls do you prefer the guy to pay for the date if so why? what’s your thinking beliefs opinions surrounding this preference?

[juniourparrott]

can you articulate your thought process perspective behind this preference of yours? is it a deal breaker for you like if he doesn’t pay would you like leave the date no more dates after this one?

[SueShe]

I am not dating, don't have a need or urge to date but if I had to, then I would want to pay for all my consumptions all the time.

The reason is simple. If you pay your share of what is eaten, you do not owe anything to anybody and you don't have the pressure to "thank" the guy with favors and other kinds of benefits.

I have always tried to be independent from others and this independence certainly also would apply to dates. If you pay your own share, then it shows that they cannot try to motivate you to return a favor in a different way.

If the date is planned in an expensive restaurant, then I would simply refuse to go because, as a student, I don't have that kind of money to waste on 2 bites.

[juniourparrott]

I mean but people specifically people going on dates are certainly gonna have preferences for certain things and expectations for certain things on the date though right

[SueShe]

Yes I would say that there may be some expectations but it does not have to be the ones you are probably thinking of.

[juniourparrott]

People are expecting all kinds of things like sex to happen that someone will pay that this person will be their wife that this isn’t and won’t ever or anytime soon be anything serious committed etc etc

[Anonymous]

If the guy formally asks me out on a date, I’d expect that he’s paying. Just as if I were to invite him out, I’d pay. Gender/societal norms will always incline men to pay and women to expect as much, but I do think these “roles” are fading out. I also wouldn’t make that the expectation, I’d have my own money. But it is a nice gesture from him and to me, shows his ability to take care of me. Do I need to be cared for? Nope, but him taking the lead like that is attractive, at least it is to me.

[DishLady]

It’s a nice thing if it’s possible, HOWEVER the girl also should be greedy and order the left side of the menu then expect the guy to pay. That’s unkind, ladies… and it lets in what kind of girl you are.


Personally I’m not the “Lobster Girl” (the type to gratuitously order the most expensive thing on the menu just because a guy is paying), especially not on a first date (or the first five dates actually). The exception is if the guy offers to take you and knows the place well and recommends it. Then… ok.


But as for paying — we’re in the 21st Century. Realistically the economy hasn’t been the best and while it’s chivalrous of the guy to pay, the girl should at least have the good manners to offer to contribute to the meal.

[Abbycado]

No. Split. Don’t want him to think I owe him something for paying for me.

[Nikki1989]

I really don't care who pays.