Pay the bill separate or together on a date?

[Peridot25]

I’m curious what your thoughts are.
For me, I want to do separate

Pay separately

Pay together

[molonski2]

I make the assumption that I asked her out , so I will pay the entire thing , now I appreciate that in various parts of the world the bill could be a lot higher and most hear would be a lot younger so maybe they wish to split , but I've asked her , so I pay , if she is absolutely insistent to the point of making a statement then that's no problem she can just refund me , that's rarely happened. Although one time years ago , this girl picked up the entire bill of course I offered to pay , but she was making a statement ( it went back to when we very first met ) she also picked me up in a brand new black pick up , and dropped me back and left.

So anyhow , this is how I approach it.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Times are changing & nowadays a lot of girls are using guys for foodie calls & a lot of girls are just going on dates for free drinks, breakfast, brunch, lunch & dinner.

As for me I always say if a foodie call leads to a booty call or something more it’s well worth paying.

On the other hand when it comes to paying I think the person who asks the other person out should pay but if the person asked out offers to pay that is ok as well.

If you are on a double date with another couple in that case there should be a separate bill for both couples.

If the food is terrible I think the restaurant should pay the bill.

[Apple36]

It is not all about time changes. Boys and men are waking up to the fact that they have been brainwashed into thinking that males are to pay for everything on a date. Boys and men are sick of girls and women robbing them of their money. Most relationships are on one side. Who brainwashes the male mind? It is their mother and other women. Society plays a big role in this, also. Most females use dating to have a social life without paying anything. That means they benefit themselves from the male in their life when they do not get what they want—gossiping and talking trash about the male in their life. Then, the female finds another male who will do what they want, and they drop the other male. I note here that many females will get their other female friends to agree about what their male friend is to do. Another note here is it is none of your business what your male friends make with their jobs. His money is not of your business. It is shocking how so many females do not know how to have relationships with others. Most female is all about how we can benefit ourselves from others.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

@Apple36 Well said indeed.

[zeitgeist057]

@Apple36 good points. I like being generous and taking care of those I love. But for a woman I just met, going separate is a good way to weed out those self-centered leeches you describe. I can be generous once we know each other better, there's plenty of time without trying to buy a stranger's affection. I'm not so desperate for that, anyway, so those women can end up with the desperate guys who will tolerate being walked on, then they will ironically complain later they can't find anyone good. Lol the truth is that they can't find them because those men are actively avoiding them! XD

[Apple36]

As a female, I know how we females are. Males are taken for a joy ride. A male should have separate bills in case the female starts to act stupid and inappropriately. The female should pay her bill, and the male should pay his own bill. Dating is a two-way street, not a one-way street. Many of us females date to have the male pay for our joy time. I laugh many times at males who are so blind to what is really going on. The female is just using you, males, for her social activities by having the male pay for their activities. As a Christian, I know it is a sin to use others for self-gain.

[moneymagnet24]

@Apple36

Paying on date by man is the bribe to get your hole on the bed. 🙃

[Juxtapose]

"Many of us females date to have the male pay for our joy time. I laugh many times at males who are so blind to what is really going on. The female is just using you, males, for her social activities by having the male pay for their activities."

^^ this is why guys should go dutch.

[Apple36]

@Juxtapose Disagree. Disagree.

[Juxtapose]

You're literally contradicting yourself lady.

"A male should have separate bills in case the female starts to act stupid and inappropriately. The female should pay her bill, and the male should pay his own bill. Dating is a two-way street, not a one-way street."

[Juxtapose]

You just said it's a two-way street!

[Apple36]

That common was not for you. It was for another common.

[Apple36]

This common was not for Juxtapose. It was to be for another answer.

[Apple36]

@Juxtapose A two-way street. .

[DishLady]

Always offer to split the bill, especially if you ordered a lot, but don’t to the crazy aggressive fight to the death for the bill if the guy wants to pay. Counter by offering to pay the tip, which some guys STILL don’t like too much but they’ll shrug it off as a concession.

[ohsheeT]

Maybe you should talk to the guy before you go out..

For me if I ask you out then I would pay for it that's just the way I've always been.

And if you ask me out I would just pay for it that's just the way I've always been LOL it's not that big of a deal to me I would say just get the tip, pay the tip.

[OlderAndWiser]

I always pay for everything on a date and I have never expected a woman to give me anything in return. . . except for her attention while we are on the date.

[Juxtapose]

Why do you think a woman deserves your money and you don't deserve her money?

[EmyyWolf]

Exactly, because the men in your era actually had testosterone.

My Dad actually didn’t even have a father figure, cause his Dad Passed away.
But he had enough testosterone to understand how to treat women

[OlderAndWiser]

@Juxtapose It is not a matter of who deserves what. It is understanding what makes things work poorly and what makes things work well, and doing what I can to optimize my chances for success. There are things in life more important than being right or having a logically defensible position.

For many people, dating is a preview of what a person would be like as a long term partner. Women need to feel that a man would be a good provider for them and they judge that by how a man treats them in the dating phase. If you disagree that a man should be a good provider, you can disagree, and I won't tell you that you are wrong. . . but you are going to alienate a huge portion of the women in the available dating pool.

The attitude which I have adopted served me well and I never had any problems dating in my adult life.

[Juxtapose]

Fair enough, but I want to completely divorce material concerns from my relationships. I can understand if we are living under a roof and want to split rent evenly, then what I make will be relevant depending on how expensive the place is.

But just because she has a pussy does not mean I'm going to be a pay pig. I don't plan to have kids so no need for pregnancy to get in her way of paying her fair share.

[Juxtapose]

People looking for provider aren't looking for a partner, they're looking for a lifestyle.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Juxtapose There are women who really want a relationship, want to have a family, and they want to be a stay-at-home mom. That requires a man who can support a family. That doesn't mean the woman ONLY wants the guy's money.

[Apple36]

@EmyyWolf Women need to know how to treat a man. It is funny how we females make rules and policies about what males are to be, but they can not make rules or policies about what we females should be. Our society has brainwashed us into gender thinking, which is not correct. The only reason why most of us females date is to have a good time and have someone else pay for it. That is wrong, wrong, and wrong.

[Juxtapose]

@Apple36 Emyy is an open misandrist who blocks people who don't take her malicious words lightly.

[Juxtapose]

Go ahead and ask her if she thinks that men just use women as sex aids and if they really care about women or not.

She can't see my reply either, because she's a coward who blocked me.

[EmyyWolf]

@Juxtapose
I’m not, I’m only a misandrist of dweebs and dorks. Testosterone deficient men. Specially when these types are entitled.

Outside of that ; I love me a handsome badboy, a stud, a stallion of a man. Jacked. Broad shoulders, thick forearms, huge hands! Enormous hands! With long fingers! Tan,
deep voice, base in their voice 🫢🫢🫢
My goodness.
Very few of those but they exist.

If I hated all men, I would be a lesbian with weird hair color and I wouldn’t dare touch a man. Absolutely not.. I have the studs and stallions of great genes 🧬 touch me
Brad Pitt types, or Vin Diesel, or The Rock


❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😍😍😍😍😍😍

[AviatorTom]

I always offer to pay the full amount, and sometimes she wants to split it. That's fine with me.

[Apple36]

Now, that is a true lady. The relationship is a two-way street, not a one-way street.

[dragoblack]

Depends. Give the guy the chance to offer to pay the bill, then offer separate.
Guys usually always pay for the date because that is what society expects of them, due to old dating traditions from when men were the financial providers. A man should not be expected to pay because it is supposed to be a sign of financial stability and responsibility, but sadly there are many people out there that abuse that social norm for free food/stuff and/or a lay that goes nowhere.
My rule of dates is, first date separate pay, because it shows intent of the date, and a coffee date is usually the good go to, because it's about getting to know each other. If a date goes for expensive on the first date it is a major red flag.

[Jennifer604]

I'll just leave these here.

[Unit1]

👍...

[Pillubi]

I want the guy to pay the bill, also I don't have a stable income as of now, and in future I want to be a housewife cause I am good at housework in general and jobs aren't my cup of tea. so I will be dependent on him, hence I like the guy who takes the lead.

[Peridot25]

Hey, as long as he’s on the same page as you and it works, great 👍

[Peridot25]

How are you making money right now without a husband?

[Pillubi]

I take some assignments from local schools, I give my voice for their textbooks lessons which are taught using projectors and stuff, kinda like a voice artist. Also I have worked many jobs in various fields and have some amount of savings and investments.

[Purpleronnie]

The game I used to play was if she offers to pay then I would insist on paying the bill otherwise I’m paying for what I ate and drank. There were a few times they would insist on paying their share and that’s fine too. I had no issue with that it’s was the girl who had the expectation of me paying that annoyed me a little. These days I agree it should really be the asker who pays

[Fireguy17]

For me it's fine, I understand.
I will make the offer to pay and ask are you sure a few times.
Blame my parents for that, but if that is what you want then sure it's fine with me.
I totally get it, and if they don't that just might be a sign that they might not be the one for you.

[Peridot25]

Which one did you choose?

[Fireguy17]

pay separately, but again like I said I will always offer, but never make a big thing out of it.

[kmg9150]

Bro just go to the bathroom and catch the server on side and pay the bill. Most women dont understand its basically instinct for most men.

[Peridot25]

@kmg9150 We understand but we’re always cautious because we don’t know what you’re expecting at the end of the date. And you know what I’m talking about.
Also, you can turn around and say we used you for money. Even if you offered or we tempted to pay for ourselves and you declined.

[Fireguy17]

yeppers, sometimes you just can't win.
You're damned if you do, damned if you don't.

[Fireguy17]

@kmg9150 Been there done that.
For me that was how I was raised.
Now things are different.
There are just too many new "rules" I just don't have the time to study up on them.

[kmg9150]

@Peridot25 Its not what we’re expecting, its what that individual is expecting. I agree some dudes are wild with their thoughts on buying a meal equals playtime. Them dudes would be better off just going to where those services are offered, hell they get to buy themselves a massage not a meal for anyone else, and know what to expect, but then again they would have to aware of the signs that a woman is not interested in them to be smart enough to take that route.

Everyones different. If I ask I am paying, driving/picking up unless its expressed otherwise (I get some girls dont want to feel trapped in a situation). But there are some of these females that dont eat the whole day expecting to go somewhere fancy and ordering up half the menu and wanting to take some home. Literally had a homie tell me that girl said she didn't eat all day because of the date. When she ordered dessert he was full but shared just because he didn't want to see her as “pigging out” because he did like the girl, but didn't want that to kill the conversing that took place prior.

[kmg9150]

@Fireguy17 as man you should want shared company with women or a woman. You shouldn't let some new rules stop that. I mean if there was knew procedures for work or laws to follow as a business owner would you let that stop you from continuing? So why with women, its literally instinct to engage with the opposite sex before becoming “successful” and obtaining monetary things. On its core, mans purpose first and foremost is survival then procreation. Its our duty to keep the species alive by doing that and/or providing guidance for children that lack (or your own) someone in their lives to do just that…. I've done the latter of the two, and despite how my situation turned out thus far, I wouldn't change it for the anything. Side note I can't make the babies, just give them love that they needed. Not saying how to live your life, just being real to what a lot men be blind to when it comes to “purpose”.

[ChiTown33]

I always go on a date with the intent of paying. Of the 100 things I'm thinking about "who's paying" doesn't make the list.

But I will say this. It's always appreciated whenever she OFFERS to pay her share. I always decline but I consider it a thoughtful gesture. It's just polite.

[WintersDaughter]

If it's your first date, pay separately. If it's the second, third or fourth date, pay separately unless one offers to pay the whole thing.

Always assume you're paying for your own meal, unless told otherwise.

[worldscolide]

It depends on who invited who out. If she invites me, I'd hope she pays, if i invite her, I'd definitely pay. I'd only split the bill if she asked me to.

For example, my wife, I still take her on dates. Most of the time I pay, occasionally she wants to split, I'm never going to say no to help lol.

[SYTHOX]

The first date should be on the guy I think, after that if both parties like each other then I'd say split the bill. After all leading on your both probably expecting a serious relationship and relationships should always be 50/50. I'll pull my weight and show why I'm worth the time but you gotta do the same too.

[abc3643]

I am old-fashioned. The man always pays the bill for a date.

That said, I am married now and, while I usually pay, sometimes it is my wife that pays because I've shot my wad and am tight from paying the other bills to keep us alive.

[TheSpectre]

I'd pay on VERY FIRST DATE.
Then i'd let HER pay if she will insist on next.

Later, i'd pay my portion and she would pay hers.

Oops! Forgot your wallet? Insufficient funds?
Okay, i'll HELP you with the bill time to time.

[Anonymous]

Depends on a situation, but I like paying for others, I avoid paying for guys though, unless they're my close relatives, because guys are saying that would be nice if women would at least split the bill but whenever I do them a favor and pay the full amount they start treating me with blatant disrespect

[IslaTheWitch]

I prefer to osy gor myself... especially on the first few dates...

[EmyyWolf]

If I’ll poo out his brat.
He will pay with every last penny

Otherwise my female brain will automatically think he chokes on.. 🍆

[EmyyWolf]

@Peridot25

[Simslover92]

My partner and I take turns paying. I paid for everything on the first date and he paid for everything on the second date.

[Abbycado]

Separate. Don’t want him to think he is owed something.

[SeriouslyNotSerious]

I never experienced paying or splitting before, even got my taxi covered before going. Thankfully.. 😅

[Beau2024]

Boss