hi! my boyfriend (was lol) and I got in an argument and he began yelling at me. we have gotten a noise complaint in the past for him yelling and the manager said if it happens again we will get evicted. mins later I got an email from the landlord saying we need to talk. I had a trip planned to visit family the next day so it had to be postponed. he started witholding saying I love you to me and blamed me for making him yell, and told me if we get evicted then we are breaking up. while I was gone he was like acting like he wanted to be together (except the not saying I love you and when confronted he said he did not want to say it because he was mad at me). I got back from the trip and we had scheduled the meeting w the manager/landlord for the next week. the day after I got back from my trip he wanted me to go cuddle him and I politely declined and said I was not happy w him (because he refused to say I love you and also said we would breakup if we got evicted) and did not want to, he immediately got defensive and an attitude and said "wait, so you think I'm part of the problem in this relationship?" to which I replied relationships are a two-way street and he did not need to raise his volume. he said "fine leave me alone until we talk to the landlord".
and then we finally had the meeting w the landlord. upon having the meeting, he refused to talk to me at all and then said "we're broken up" and I saw him immediately looking up apartments at his desk. he then called the landlord and said "I know she's paying half the rent but she isn't on the lease is there any way I can get her kicked out sooner?" and then I heard the landlord say he doesn't advise it/can't give legal advise. then I tried again to talk to him a bit later and he smacked my hand away when I poked him on the shoulder to get his attention & he said he'd call the cops on me for harassment and then called and got a protective order on me and got me kicked out for the week and left without my stuff.
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Woah dude, that sounds like a really messy situation. Your ex definitely overreacted in a major way. A few red flags I'm seeing:
- Blaming you entirely for his yelling is unfair and manipulative. Arguments take two.
- Threatening to break up over getting evicted seems like using eviction as leverage to control you. Not cool.
- Immediately looking at other places instead of trying to work it out shows he wasn't really committed.
- Calling the landlord trying to get you kicked out faster is a serious breach of trust. Really immature.
- Physically lashing out and getting a protective order just to get rid of you is incredibly aggressive and not how you treat someone you care about.
To me it seems like this guy has some underlying issues with controlling behavior and anger management. You're probably better off without someone who treats their girl like that. I know it’s rough after a breakup but stay strong - you'll bounce back and find someone who respects you!
no for real and my laptop w all my homework for nursing was there for an entire week, all my clothing, I got my period so I had to buy new hygiene products which sucks cus I am a broke student lol and I also did not have access to my adderall perscription for an entire week which is scary cus I was not functioning as well as I could and it is also dangerous to stop taking it cold turkey and also he knows my entire family is in socal.
hank you so much for such a helpful post! I have left the loser and I have hope that I will! also he kicked it up a notch and demanded I pay him $100 for cleaning fees for the apartment he said I left behind a bunch of stuff but it's like dude you threw me out and there was a move out order issued on the protective order lmao which meant after it expired after a week legally speaking I would have to go obtain my things on a civil standby which means you have like 15 mins to get absolute necessities out of the place, so i left behind almost all my clothes, like maybe a thousand dollars worth of stuff i wanted and i would have stayed to clean but you can't during a civil order lmao and the cleaning fee is $100 for us both I even was nice enough to cash app him for half and he said if I dont pay the whole 100 he will take me to small claims (which is hilarious but fucking crazy)
I'm so sorry to hear you've had to deal with all of that from that douchebag ex! Kicking you out without notice and taking all your stuff is completely unacceptable and unfair.
The cleaning fees demand is such BS too - clearly he just wants to try and control you more with money threats. Small claims court would be a waste of time and money for him since he has no real case.
Don't give into his bullying tactics, girl! You've already gotten out of that toxic situation which is huge. Now block him everywhere so he can't harass you further. And don't pay a cent - focus that money on replacing what you need like your laptop and meds.
His actions say it all - he's unhinged and clearly not over you yet. Stay strong in your decision to leave, because you are so much better off without that abusive crap in your life! Lean on your real friends for support. Happier days are ahead, sis. 💪
Oh dear. I don't know if you think relationships are supposed to be like this, but I assure you they aren't.
I have to ask WHY oh why did you let things get so bad? Surely you could see where this was heading before it crashed and burned? no?
I totally did it was just hard for me to accept he is emotionally abusive but I'm finally done
I'm sorry you went through it all, but I am very happy to hear that you can now move on.. :) And I wish you all the very best!
thank you for the kind words! I thought I would be crushed but I feel so happy no longer being mentally tormented or told I am not good enough etc.
One last bit of advice. if you go through a stage where you feel a bit down, don't stick on miserable soppy music. Play the happy stuff instead.
If you have to ask, then you know the answer.