my ex tried to be friends with me after he dumped me a year ago then started dating a girl 3 months later that left him a few times and tried to go back a 3rd time and he told her he just wanted to be friends. (that's what he told me at least). then he got into contact with me and tried to be friends. but I found out that he was still in contact with his ex.
i wasn't comfortable from the beginning and I told him and he stopped talking to me for a while. we ran into each other and hung out .. and slept together and the next day he treated me like dirt.
then he apologized for his words but said he wouldn't get rid of his ex. that they get along and him and I just argue all the time.
this went back and forth for months. and one day I just got so fed up.. that he was telling me how much he cared one night.. and I knew he wasn't going to stop talking to his ex.. and because he hung up on me I called/texted obsessively over 50 times. I was deliberately trying to p*ss him off because I knew he was ignoring my calls on purpose.
Now he thinks I'm crazy. Then a few days later when we calmed down he called me to talk so that we can put an end to the arguing.. and I broke down in tears to and told him that lately I have been depressed and going through a lot and that I just really needed/wanted a friend. and started to say that I was pathetic for being so jealous of him and his exes friendship.. (she has a boyfriend now tho)
But my ex has always in some way tried to be in contact with her... like he's the shoulder she cries on when she fights with her guy... I don't get why he would want to be around for that.. and make me feel like crap knowing that I still like him.?
Most Helpful Girl
first of all, nobody can MAKE you be or feel a certain way, YOU choose that. I also have an ex like this, but worse I think. I think he is the sickest, most psycho person I've ever known.
relationship drama. he's obviously playing games with you and doesn't know what the hell he is doing (as far as what matters in life). he probably doesn't know any better - what are his role models like?
who cares if he thinks you're crazy? ha ha - you could think he's crazy too! other people would think you're both crazy, or at least unhealthy. it is not healthy to place so much power in what someone else thinks of you. what he is doing of "no contact" is great (though he may be doing it more out of playing games or for an ego boost than what it is meant for). you need to do it as well, for yourself. quit contacting him. it will allow you time and space to figure things out (if you obviously haven't done so already since this was a few months ago). if you two really love each other, then things will work out. I don't know if that is the case here. do you really WANT that kind of relationship? those are called addictive relationships. they are unhealthy. they hurt, maybe because they are triggering wounds you had from growing up - that's the theory of how this happens - relationship patterns from our parents. some people spend their whole lives in those kind of relationships, never get out of them, never realize they are unhealthy.
a good thing would be to find out what healthy relationships are, or what it means to be healthy yourself. healthy = healing. then you will realize you don't want that anymore - because real love feels much better than that crazy obsessive addictive "love". set boundaries, love and respect yourself, so you won't get involved with someone like that again. find out what real love is and make your life better.0