Just a distraction or rebound?

[Anonymous]

So i was hesitant to believe my current boyfriend (ex) just because my previous ex cheated on me & left me with trust issues so when my current boyfriend (now ex) was acting overly obsessed with me i just felt weird & i wasn’t showing him as much love as he was to me. But after a month of us dating i opened up to him about my childhood trauma, my previous exs & what I’ve been through. When we would have fights, id block him for a day because i didn’t wanted to talk to him & he would find ways to contact me & tell me it hurts him every time i do that because a day without talking to me feels like months to him. He would give me access to his insta & tell me to delete anyone i wanted because he didn’t want anyone else besides me and almost daily telling me how much he loved me. After 3 months of us dating i got busy at work so i wasn’t spending time with him & he would act needy which would make me annoyed so i was telling him to stop acting immature. I know from what I’ve described so far that it looks like i was treating him badly, i did realize it and i apologized to him. I felt horrible & it made me feel bad about myself like i didn’t deserve it. He was so obsessed with me that i wasn’t jealous at all when girls would talk to him, i told him it doesn’t bother me. He said when we had a fight he was feeling hurt & he found comfort talking to some girl online. From that day on he was talking to her almost daily so i also found a guy to talked to, he started being jealous so i told him to choose between me & her. He said its too different, she is just an online friend and im someone he gonna marry, when he didn't wanted to choose i broke up with him, blocked him everywhere. He didn't tried reaching out, so after few weeks i tried to talk to him & he was cold towards me saying he doesn't care what i have to say and to leave him alone. Im hurt & confused— did he fall for that girl or he never loved me in the first place?

[SueShe]

You just happened to have found out that this guy is a huge red flag and has tried to butter you up with his sweet talking to believing that you were his one and only.

If you were indeed his one and only, then he would not have given up on you so easily. He would have fought with all the means he can to keep you and not to out and seek support from an online girl that he basically knows nothing of.

His reaction tells me that you were good enough for him to have a few good times but certainly not the one for the rest of his life, despite those sweet words he wanted you to believe in.

I even see something narcissistic in his behavior and your best and only option if you want to try to live a healthy life is to forget about this guy. He is not worthy of you.

[DishLady]

It's important to leave the trauma of past relationships firmly in the past... While we LEARN from past errors or shortcomings, we're supposed to use that to improve our own sense of how things should be with the next person (presuming there's a next person). BUT it's unfair to put every burden from your past onto the shoulders of the new person... Hope this helps.

[Iron_Man]

You have to keep the fire lit. You have responsibility when you’re in a relationship. The guy is not a dog where he waits for you at home then you play with the dog when you feel like it you can’t do that to people nobody would put up with it

[strateguy632]

but YOU pushed him away. not "he never loved me in the first place" he told you not to block him! now he found someone nicer than you.

[Anonymous]

He sounds very toxic at best.