Is 9 years considered an age gap relationship?

[Anonymous]

21-30

Yes

No

[jennifer_bloom]

This question is misleading cause a quick reader might interpret the 9 as 9 years old rather than 9 year age difference between two legal and mature adults. A lot of people answer without reading question details.

[Apple1996]

Obviously yes. A 21 and 30 year old should be at different places in life so this gap isn't good. Someone is either too mature or too immature. Which will both end up backfiring later on if they stay together long term

[Asker]

I don’t agree i mean yes maybe it’s an age gap but the other stuff I would say she is very mature for her age and wants long term as I do we have discussed everything from when to move in to boundaries to how we are in arguments do we want kids or not we’re both open communicators I’ve never had such healthy communication with anyone I’ve dated a my age and a couple years older even before and had less in common and harder time communicating in a healthy way than I do with her

[Apple1996]

If you can't get along with people your own age then it's probably immaturity issue on your end. It's not gonna a be fair to her in the long run to have childern with a man that isn't mature for his age and she's gonna have to make up for what you are lacking

[Apple1996]

Also she doesn't even have a developed frontal lobe right now so things will eventually change in the future once she hits 25 and can acutally make good choices.

[Asker]

I couldn’t disagree with you more I’m very mature I’m financially stable emotionally available I’m a great communicator and really care and am very supportive I go out of my way to make sure she is cared for there’s absolutely no way someone is going to treat her better than I will I’m super Uber empathetic I’m sensitive and caring you don’t know anything about me to call me immature is ridiculous your being judgmental not helpful it’s 9 years wich is exactly the gap of my parents that have been married 35 years

[Apple1996]

If you are all those great things then why couldn't you get someone your own age? Like someone who is also in that same place in life as you

[Apple1996]

Most people's parents and grandparents had to have age gaps because those girls couldn't make good choices for themselves back then like they couldn't go to school or get a career, own a home or have a credit card. Marrying a old guy was the only option to survive

[Asker]

I have dated people my own age every other relationship I made an exception because we have the same values in a relationship we talked about boundaries we talked about what we want in life what makes us feel appreciated or not appreciated in a relationship every thing like that you can think of we discussed in detail before going out I’ve never had such healthy open communication in any relationship I’ve dated older than me by a year or two and they were less mature than her all people are different I’ve dated probably 5 others all within 3 years of my age I don’t search out younger we just really liked each other

[Apple1996]

21 year olds are never mature for their age unless they are carrying trauma. They need to be able to live their young life and have fun. Which is cannot see being possible being with a old man

[Asker]

That reasoning is the dumbest argument ever for staters there a big difference between going back two generations vs one my mom was employed as a teacher had her own place and car when she met my dad she was allowed to vote your argument there is nonsense

[Asker]

They can live there life and have fun wtf are talking about I’m not controlling she can go out but she doesn’t like too she has social anxiety but you know everything right

[Asker]

And also if you must know she is an SA survivor and i go to great lengths to respect that and accommodate and be a healthy part of healing

[Apple1996]

Having fun doesn't mean going out. She needs to be able to be dumb and make mistakes to learn and grow. Being settled down with a old man isn't gonna give her the room to grow like she needs to in her 20s

[Asker]

You seem judgmental an immature

[Asker]

You think I’m gonna force her to settle down you think I won’t support her if she makes a dumb mistake you know nothing you need to reassess how you treat people

[Asker]

I’m far from old if I was 28 would you say anything I’m 28-31 is a males prime look at professional sports if you don’t believe me

[Apple1996]

Why would you have to support her? That's sounding like you are being a daddy and not a partner

[Apple1996]

Nah I'm mature and have kids of my own. I would not want them spending their 20s with someone that is a full grown adult and has already lived life. That's crazy weird. I think age gaps past 30 are fine cuz everyone's on the same level. 20s is basically still part of someone's childhood/growing into a adult

[Asker]

I’m not anyone’s daddy that’s your own projection not something either of us feels support just means if she needs something I’d be there my last girlfriend was 29 I did the something dumb and made a mistake I did the same thing it’s being a good partner you support each other when things get tough

[Apple1996]

Mens prime is 18-25. You are 30 which is old af

[Asker]

You can have kids and be immature

[Apple1996]

My only advice If you really like this girl is to casually date her till about 25 then start planning serious after that point when she can make good choices.

[Asker]

A females prime is 18-25 a males is 25-31 according to cell division and other factors they are the strongest healthiest fastest etc at that age facts don’t care about your opinion

[Apple1996]

Womens prime is her mid to late 30s. Men and women are different. Our hormones peak at different ages

[Asker]

I’m more than capable of letting her grow we’re not moving in together and getting married until I’d say at least a year to move in probably longer and marriage wouldn’t be a thought until much later my parents again met at the same age

[Asker]

A woman’s prime is earlier not later

[Asker]

Google it

[Apple1996]

I have googled this many times. Womens sexual and hormonal prime is in their 30s. Men's is late teens-mid 20s

[Apple1996]

www.mindbodygreen.com/.../how-to-make-the-most-of-your-sexual-peak

[Anonymous]

Too much age difference

[Asker]

We get along very well I’ve never dated outside my age so far but we both want a serious relationship I’m trying to date long term I’m not just like trying to get a younger chick I made an exception based on connection and we’ve had deep conversations about boundaries values communication etc we line up on everything that really matters in a relationship

[Asker]

But i don’t have a moral dilemma I’m fine with it she’s an adult I was just wondering if it counts as one

[Opinion Owner]

It’s too much. I don’t think she would wanna miss out on a younger energetic guy tbh. 2-3 years of gap is fine. 10 is too much

[Asker]

What makes you think I’m not energetic

[Asker]

I play basketball hike hand with friends I have a dog I have adhd I’m a ball of energy and besides that men in their twenties or younger are more likely to cheat not want to settle down and don’t have themselves figured out I speak from experience and they aren't ready there’s a zero percent chance I’ll cheat I don’t raise my voice ever I never use putdowns or name calling ever in an argument i definitely did in my teens and early twenties I’m more emotionally mature and ready to be respectful actually want to be long term I hardly see it as her missing out I want to treat her amazing always be there for her and never hurt her I can promise you while there are some twenties guys that want long term the vast majority either just want to sleep around or do want to date but haven’t learned to be in a healthy relationship yet

[Opinion Owner]

Bruhhh she will definitely see it within a while that she has not lived her life enough with guys of her age. U are old and 30 u are tired and will wanna settle down. She’s just 21 , legally adult. And obviously a 30 plus guy cannot give her that mental and physical energy she needs. The adventure she would crave. A guy 4-5 years old than her might give her that

[Opinion Owner]

Where am from men after 30 are considered old for marriage and are advised to get a arranged marriage with someone of their own age group 28-30 . Stop telling younger guys will cheat. Exactly your girlfriend is young too and she would also cheat. Especially on a older guy like u. U are understanding it see

[jahaims]

Any age difference is an age gap

[OtterMan68]

the older they are, the less that gap means

[Anonymous]

Only if the younger one is under 21

[Asker]

About to be 22 but I’m about to be 31 so

[Opinion Owner]

Seems fine to me

[Opinion Owner]

I’m 9 years older than my girlfriend but we are older and we look about the same age when out together

[Anonymous]

Yes, a big age gap.

[Asker]

Welp guess that makes this my first one then I do really like her if that means anything

[laly520]

it is