Is it a red flag if a guy invites me to his house on a first date?

Question

I think the fact that he invited me to his house on the first date shows that he sees me as a easy girl and is just looking for sex. How do you think about this?

Saramad_Hill · Accepted Answer

There's no telling what he's thinking. If he's not a gamer guy (which, that's where they have fun is at home) then I'd say the chances are he might be thinking he's gonna get lucky or something. And even if that's not the case, then that's an incredibly boring idea for a date. Going somewhere else, regardless of price, is usually preferable. You two need to be in a public setting to help keep it casual so you can talk. Going to his house is a gamble and you may end up having to awkwardly leave if he makes you uncomfortable.

Would I call it a Red Flag? Eh. Maybe an Orange Flag. Whatever it is, it just looks bad or lazy. I would suggest going somewhere else if you're really interested in the guy, or if you're indifferent about it, then maybe explain to him why that's not a good idea to invite someone into a private and potentially intimidating space.

Even as a guy, I still get very nervous if a girl invites me to her house too early in the relationship. I suppose it depends on how long we were talking beforehand, but a first date sounds pretty early, so... public situations are safer for everyone involved to sus out if you'll click or not.

JakeShepard95 · Accepted Answer

I don't drive, and I don't live in a very walkable area, which hinders my ability to meet people in public from the jump. (And yes, my not driving has been a deal breaker with women in the past.)

I'm also an autistic introvert, who much prefers a quiet night at home to a loud night in a bright and costly public venue (there is no "third place" in America anymore anyway, it's all just restaurants and other paid service venues), even by myself, or with my platonic male friends.

If the "healthy" way to date someone of the opposite sex is to, in fact, interact with them as a regular human being, and not a thing you want sex from, then me trying to invite you to my house for a date would be an earnest effort toward that end on my part.

For me personally, it would be inviting you out to a restaurant, or a coffee shop, THAT would be the "red flag" that indicates I am treating you differently than I would a friend or family member because I want sex out of you, not the other way around.

Rosexøxø · Accepted Answer

Yes, just go with red on that one. He’s not going to have a ring waiting there, or his family. So if that isn’t the case he’s not looking to marry you so why would he choose house hook up/ meet as a FIRST date?

I can’t even give the reasons why or things behind it. Just go with red and pass on that. Unless you want something quick but you don’t want it to be so quick you live your whole life in one moment and get murdered lmao Def gotta know the guys before you know the guy.

naartjie · Accepted Answer

YES. Omg, yes. Say no. I have never ever gotten invited to their house on a first date and not had them want to have sex. It’s always so awkward too cause you say yeah no buddy and then you don’t know if you should hang around or leave but in reality you have to leave cause he doesn’t actually want to put effort into taking you on an actual date

AviatorTom · Answer

I wouldn't necessarily call it a red flag. He might just be inviting you to dinner, and showing you that he's a good cook. Typically, a first date is at a more public place. Maybe you should suggest that, and save the house visit for a later date.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

He probably wants you to do something for him at his home. Maybe he wants you to teach him something about cooking. Maybe he wants you to do some cleaning for him. Or maybe he wants you to have sex with him? What's your best guess?

Finchie40 · Answer

It sounds like he is trying to get you naked right away so yes a red flag unless you want to get laid

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

What's wrong with wanting to fuck?

For me it's a red flag if I make it clear I want to fuck, but then she's acting like she's not interested. I don't want a chick around that isn't interested in sucking my dick and letting me poke her guts around.

What? Should I want a relationship with a chick that doesn't even want my cock deep inside her? What kind of relationship would that be? Fuck that. I want a chick that wants me bad. I mean otherwise she's a waste of time and effort.

At the same time though... I get it. Sometimes you want more to happen than just fucking, but when you meet that guy you fuck him anyway. Not my problem.

Is it a red flag if a guy invites me to his house on a first date?

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Its a red flag to date someone when you haven't already been to their house a ton of times as friends just to hang out and watch tv or play video games or whatever your social hobbies are.

Dating is what you do when it feels wrong not to date them, like you know they are the one for you and you NEED to date and marry them because you can't stand the idea of not doing that.

If you are instead using dating as a way to figure that out, prepare to end up as a single parent for life, because the odds of someone being a perfect match by random chance is just terrible and your lust and emotions and empathy will cloud your judgment on someone you didn't know well enough or long enough.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

It is weird, a girl should not enter a man's house alone on the 1st date...
After spending some time together and getting to know each other very well to the point where you both are in a serious relationship which is leading to marriage than at this point you can visit him at his house alone and spend your time with him 🙂

If it was me, at this point i'd bring her everyday to my house or she can come over anytime she wants, personally if i had a girl, she'll be aware that we ain't going to have sex until marriage, so maybe she will cook for me or wash my clothes, play together, kiss and cuddle haha

avery58 · Answer

Not necessarily but there's a chance that he just wants to have sex instead of really getting to know you. I mean, who has a first date at home? Kind of defeats the purpose.

I also wouldn't go to his house without knowing him well. Not saying he's a psycho or anything but you have to be careful and stay safe.

DishLady · Answer

It's not specifically a "red flag" just because he may or may not think you're easy. A red flag is a sign that he'll mistreat you. There are lots of "easy" girls out there... And just because he invites you doesn't mean you have to accept. It just means he WOULD LIKE YOU to indulge him. On a first date... just don't do it. Leave something for next time.

molonski2 · Answer

Its not a problem for me , I have done this previously ( if she lived nearby ) , and of course if I already knew her , not my usual action however , but I dont think an issue as long as the initial meeting / date is not blind , as in , straight off line or the like.

ThaMaskedMarvel · Answer

A red flag? Not necessarily. But generally speaking, it could be exactly what you're thinking. Like, chances are high that it's what you think, but if he fits into the minority of guys, then he's a good guy. Majority rules, but give him the benefit of the doubt. He might be an OK guy, but if he's not, be prepared for that, also.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

for me, for sure :D I would politely decline, explaining it's inappropriate :D depending on his reaction, we can plan the next date  not  in his place or say farewell :D

caitycat21 · Answer

Yes, no girl in their right mind would go meet up with some random guy she’s never mets place unless she’s trying to get a Netflix true crime documentary.

Gopackers02 · Answer

Depends on the vibe you get from texting and how he sounds. I know my intentions if I were to do that and it’s literally I’ll make the lady dinner or lunch depending on time, and we watch a show on Netflix. Nothing sexual just straight up a date. But I know other guys are different and just wanna get in the pants. So it depends

Vegasrunner · Answer

As a man that has been. W/ over 400 women, I'm here to say that's weird. It's one thing if it's organic and you guys hook up and end up at his house but to actually coordinate a first date and have a girl meet you at your house is a Red Flag in my opinion. I would certainly take some precautions, or have him meet me in a public place first.

EmmaMary · Answer

Personally I would be looking at this as being a possible Red Flag. Please do take care and stay safe.

Lynnzee · Answer

How do you know him? If it's someone you met online or just recently started talking to, I think that's sketchy. If it's someone you've known for a long time and we decently acquainted with beforehand I think that's ok.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

It depends on the guy. He might be after sex, but he might also have a fear of crowds. The problem is, only he knows what his motives are and that is something you shouldn't be taking a chance on..

Bricealan · Answer

Only if, when you are inside and he 'bars' the door, locks it, and puts the keys in his crotch... and gets naked... that may be a 'red flag'... but then. too late !! LOLOL

CrabCakes11 · Answer

He probably wants to have sex with you. Even if that’s what you’re looking for, don’t go for safety reasons. Going into a strange man’s home is never a good idea

PBandJ_Nerd · Answer

I wouldn't consider that to be safe. Please do not go with him inside his house.

zedzed1755 · Answer

He thinks that you are easy and that you would sleep with him straight away. I went on a foest date with a guy to a arcade and straight after our date he wanted me to come over. I politely declined and never spoke to him again as he disrespected my boundaries.

GeminiDiamond · Answer

I've invited a guy up on the first date, I guess I thought he was easy? (Don't you laugh men) ok, so a red flag if he does it? No, it's not. It's a red flag if he acts like an idiot if you say no.

Anastacia1989 · Answer

If you don’t know each other prior to dating then ya obviously he’s trying to get you into bed…..

if he’s a friend that you knew from before then I’d say it’s ok to chill at his house - just don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with

sheikalana · Answer

Yes. You don't know him yet to go to his house. You don't know his true intentions or if he's a psycho. I wouldn't go.

SugarSugarplum · Answer

Yes. It means he wants sex without spending any money on you.

SeriouslyNotSerious · Answer

Yes. If you are looking for a serious relationship, this is a red flag.

slatyb · Answer

Where did you meet him? If you don't already know him, then definitely do not go to his house. That's not safe. Meet him in a public place.

Minky17 · Answer

Yes. It's not a date then. That's consenting for sex.

paledreams · Answer

Coffee ☕ seems more public space safe lol "just don't go over to the parking" lol somehow I think no one ever adds sub-disclaimers lol

hahahmm · Answer

If you want to be more valuable than the average woman today, yes.

jahaims · Answer

It would depend on the context. He could want a hookup, maybe he wants to cook for you, maybe he is more comfortable there than a public setting. It could be for a million reasons

Emmytexrex · Answer

Well dates is somewhere both of you can chill and get to know each other better personally not my parents house damn hell no

Anonymous · Answer

😆😆😆 it amazes me that women have so much trouble with men today. Then I come across a question like this. And all of a sudden it becomes crystal clear why.😆

MrDaveAPSI · Answer

Probably not the greatest first date idea, only because while you shouldn't assume anything, it's also better to just stay away from the place, until at least the third date

Radiate143 · Answer

I don't know about flags but yes, he wanta to gwtlaid with as little investment as possible.

Booklover_90 · Answer

Do  not  go to his house. Ask to meet in a public place. If he says no, there’s your answer.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I don't think it's necessarily a red flag. But it certainly can be. But I don't think you should go to his house; it isn't wise.

dudeinohio · Answer

Not necessarily. I had a first date at my place lots of times and I never expected or had sex.

worldscolide · Answer

Yeah that's more like third or fourth date territory. Definitely a red flag.

ImVeryOld · Answer

No gentleman would ever do such a thing. I would call of the date if it hasn't happened yet. That's very disrespectful.

Jay0102 · Answer

Thats not really true. Maybe he just wants to cook for you or he gets anxiety from being in groups

Likes2drive · Answer

Maybe he is testing you or has no clue about where to go on a first date date

Anonymous · Answer

it's a red flag because he's a broke loser who can't afford to take you to a fancy place

Sabretooth · Answer

good chance. it's possible that could be innocent. me? watch movies and/or play video games.

Joshgag2000 · Answer

He just wants to sleep with you it’s a red flag

Skyros · Answer

Possibly, I wouldn’t go without a month or two of dates.

HappyWoman34 · Answer

Yes, he just wants sex.

Chelsdope0 · Answer

He should take you on a proper date

Iron_Man · Answer

it’s way too fast

exitseven · Answer

Maybe he just really likes you.

MikeTheBartender · Answer

Yes. If we jnvite

OtterMan68 · Answer

yeah, it should never be the first date

Theodoricus · Answer

Just a notice, trust nobody nowadays.

RedInnocent69 · Answer

Yes. He just wants sex.

James2bb · Answer

Yes, in most cases they want toget laid

Anonymous · Answer

He just wants sex

Anonymous · Answer

you see this as a problem how?

shortster · Answer

Yes.

Anonymous · Answer

Probably

dinojames22 · Answer

Yep. Your not wrong

Is it a red flag if a guy invites me to his house on a first date?

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