How do I convince my parents not to be miserable and disappointed that I don’t want to have a partner and children?

[Anonymous]

My parents are very conservative and they want to have grandchildren. But I’ve had such awful experiences with women (I am guilty of that too), that I don’t want to have a partner anymore. I just want to be alone and mind my own business. I don’t think I’m good enough for what women want nowadays in men and I don’t find a woman who fits my preferences either. I don’t sleep around, so I don’t have any sexual interactions with women. But my parents are sad and disappointed and we have arguments because of that whenever we meet.

[kylee2437]

This is nothing different than doing things that your parents wouldn’t personally want, but it’s something that you feel is correct for you. It happens all the time. 25-29 is still young especially for men and you may end up finding someone either beyond those years or whenever.

[Oliverlogan263]

I totally get where you're coming from man. Dating and relationships can really suck sometimes. But your happiness is what matters most here, not making your parents happy.

A couple thoughts - have you tried really talking to your parents about why YOU don't want to date? Explain your bad experiences in a calm way, that it's not about them, you just don't feel ready. Ask them to respect your choice, even if they don't get it, because it's your life.

It also may help to emphasize this isn't forever - you're just not interested right now. Leave the door open to possibly meeting someone someday if you change your mind. Reassure them you're young and have time.

Also make it clear you still value their involvement in other parts of your life beyond just dating/grandkids. Do stuff with them to show that relationship is still important.

Keep the lines of communication open and be patient as they adjust. With time and understanding on both sides, hopefully they'll come to accept your choice. But you have to stick to your boundaries too. It's a process, but you can get through it together with respect on both sides. Stay true to yourself - that's most important here.

[meepmeeperton]

You’ll probably just need a break from women and may eventually find a woman with similar values to you. If all goes well in that scenario you could change your mind about the kids. So maybe tell your parents that, and tell them not to rush you or pressure you if they want grandkids at all.

[Asker]

Yes. I wouldn’t say no to having a wife and kids, but I can’t find compatible women at this point and I try to focus on what I can control

[meepmeeperton]

The older generation won’t really understand that and just expect you to get everything magically and blame it on you if you can’t.