How do I deal with multiple girls crushing on me?

[Anonymous]

I know some may say “date them all and see who you like the most” look. I don’t want to hurt them. I don’t want to cause drama. I don’t want to make some of the girls feel worthless because I picked another girl.

My guts right most the time. I’ve tried to convince myself someone likes me when I deep down knew they didn’t. I’ve also blown off obvious signs before because I was overthinking.

I care for them though and wouldn’t want to hurt anyone if things don’t work.

[DishLady]

You POOOR THING. What a problem to have... I guess you can raffle them off, no? Hmm... No.

Ok, jokes aside, you're actually a nice guy for being concerned about not letting anyone feel bad. (Major kudos for that.)

There's gonna be SOME drama if they know each other. Brace yourself. There's nothing you can do about it.

The million dollar question is whether you like one of these women. If yes, then just start going out with that one and the rest will catch on that OH, you're taken.

If you DON'T like any of them, then just politely take a step back from whatever circle of friends/colleagues these women belong to.

Hope that's helpful. If you post a slightly more specific update I might be able to offer something a bit more precise for you.

[Asker]

Thanks for giving a genuine answer. Lmao 🤣 a raffle would be something but it seems like a recipe for disaster

[Asker]

The thing is I do like them. I just don’t know them super well. Crushes (if you wanna call it that) come and go. So over time I will probably loose interest (romantically) and I assume some of them will also loose interest.

I kind of like getting to know someone first before getting too far into a relationship. This could be building a rapport in a friendship or it could be dating them to see if they are someone for me, or not.

I’ll try to post a update if I can. It just depends. I want to be careful not to make things awkward saying some of them are coworkers. I’m not against dating someone I work with. But it’s a big risk.

Especially if some of these women may have feelings but wouldn’t act on it. As well as if there was a nasty breakup or workplace drama

[DishLady]

I looked at it at first and thought why tf is this guy complaining? But then I liked the rest of what you wrote. Hopefully one of these suggestions works for you.

[DishLady]

Ok so… as an alternative, take each one out on one date and see if there’s “dating potential” so you can narrow it down. As long as you’re not monogamous or promising things to each girl you should be fine. Don’t promise a second date if you’re not feeling it, ok?

[Asker]

That’s what I’ve thought about doing. But that’s what could hurt them too. If I choose one girl over the other. It could make the other girls feel they aren’t good enough

[DishLady]

Meh... Are they related or something?

[Asker]

I am not into polyamory by any stretch of the imagination. But I understand exclusive relationships take time. Just dating isn’t a relationship.

Eventually I only want to be with one girl. It’s just that narrowing it down could deeply hurt someone. I don’t want her to feel bad about herslef. It’s not that she isn’t someone’s perfect someone. I just know sometimes that happens

[DishLady]

You're totally jumping the gun. No one is suggesting POLY ANYTHING. That's gross.

Can you take each of them for a 20min coffee. That means... Take them out for ONE DATE. ONE AT A TIME. Figure it out. 1 +1 = 2 ... Table for 2. Got it Casanova?

Or, really leave them all alone. I'm sure they're not thinking about you as much as you're thinking about them right now. You're making this into too big a deal.

[Asker]

Yeah I know you’re not suggesting that. It’s just monogamous like being exclusive

[Asker]

No I get going for coffee. I just don’t want to hurt someone because I’ve seen it happen before when similar things have been done.

But I also get some people date too many people and get serious with too many people.

It’s just the girls they smile at me with HUGE eyes and like the lines near their eyes like crows feet. I’ve also heard my name come up quite a bit when they’re talking to one another. What exactly they said? I didn’t stalk their conversation. They’re always kinda talking to me. They sound nervous sometimes. Use sweet voices

[verymuchgirl]

Pick ur favorite one and make it clear to the rest, if you don’t want to hurt. set yourself some boundaries with then 😁

[Asker]

Thanks. I don’t know my favorite…. And really the person I have the most interest in if I knew doesn't mean I don’t like the other girls as people.

[Asker]

And I have boundaries. The girls are respectful. I can just tell. Like I was wearing a new cologne and some of them were nice before but got super sweet. One her voice literally sounds shaky sometimes.

Also there is one who smiles like her whole face lights up when she sees me.

[Billlewis]

Be as honest as you can with all of them, and treat them with the utmost respect and courteousness as possible.

[LiamJHayden]

I get not wanting to hurt any of them, but that is likely unavoidable and is just part of life. Go out with them and see which one you best click with.

[EmmaMary]

Congratulations on winning a Troll of the day award.

[Asker]

Emma what is is with your non answers? How is this trolling?

[Asker]

So you can be helpful or get reported. You choose. Because what you’re doing is violating GAG rules

[EmmaMary]

Because 99% of the shite posted is complete and utter fucking BOLLOX.

Oh and please categorically show me just where I'm supposedly "violating GAG rules"... Thank you.

[Asker]

Then why are you wasting your time on here?

[Asker]

Spam – If you include links or personal information for the sole purpose of advertisement or solicitation, your post will be removed. Posts that solicit members in any fashion are considered Spam (this would include asking for contact or other personal information).
- Questions/myTakes only asking for others to chat will be removed as Spam.
- Opinions that only say "I don't know" and "I'm here for the Xper points" will be removed as Spam.

[Asker]

This would be considered as spam. Because you’re not answering the question. It’s the same as saying “I don’t know” or “I’m just here for xper points” which is what you’re doing - point gaming

[Asker]

You claim this websites full of trolls. Yet you tend to be one of them.

[EmmaMary]

You are of course completely and utterly wrong, for the sole reason that I report each of my replies straight to the Administration Dept.

Also please kindly note that unlike the countless number of lowlife, pathetic Anonymous Trolls, I am not childish enough to hide behind any anonymity.

[Asker]

Really? I don’t see your full name and address in your profile Emma

[Asker]

I am right because if I reported this opinion. The admin would remove it as they have before. Many times

[EmmaMary]

Then please do go right ahead.

Subject Closed & Muted.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, like we all love a blue anon. 🤦‍♀️

[Asker]

And we all love someone who cannot answer the question helpfully. So either do that or get reported for breaking the rules

[Asker]

You know non answers are against the rules

[sage2021]

Oh, don't cha just hare it when that happens?🙄