Guys, how often do you like communication?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been seeing a guy for quite some time and he’s always the one to reach out. He complains that I don’t ever reach out to him first but I just feel awkward doing it for some reason. How often should I reach out to him like do you all expect twice a day once a week like I’m really weird about this I feel like I’m chasing him or bothering him if I text first. I’m kinda new to dating I’ve only been in two long-term relationships.

[Summeroflove]

I just think if someone wants to talk they need to reach out. Someone has to initiate contact first….

When he says something he’s communicating. You need to communicate as well and tell him how you feel. If you feel like you’re chasing or bothering him tell him that. Tell him it feels weird and awkward.

Respectful communication goes a long ways. To work through problems unless there is something that just says you’re not compatible.

[Asker]

I reached out a couple times. I got simple responses. iMessage to him yesterday and I said since you barely text me anymore and you know my off days and haven’t wanted to see me I’ll come to the conclusion you don’t wanna see me anymore and just don’t want to tell me but I can handle it just say it, and he said, based on the fact that I love you, your assumption is wrong. And I haven’t heard anything since.😭

[Summeroflove]

Asker I don’t know what his intentions are. But if you’re trying to talk to him and he isn’t responding. Then he’s either playing games or isn’t interested. Ir sucks but some people do that.

Maybe he’s conflicted and doesn’t know how he feels. But he should communicate it. Maybe he is just trying to save your feelings but is making it worse stringing you along. Maybe he’s keeping you interested as a way to feed his ego. Maybe he’s keeping you on the back burner in case nothing else works out

[Summeroflove]

I mean it’s one thing. If someone’s busy if they can’t respond immediately. That’s fine.

But what some people do. I’m not saying this is the reason, it’s just a possible one. Some people are talking to a lot of people so they don’t have time to talk to someone. Really someone should focus on who they are genuinely interested in.

But it’s a ego thing. It inflates their egos when they can have a lot of people of the opposite sex interested in them. Even if they have no intent on going anywhere else.

[Summeroflove]

I would tell him that if he is interested then why does he ignore you for days. Why are you the only one making any effort to talk.

If he’s busy. Again that’s fine. But it’s not reasonable to go days especially if you know he’s posting on social media or something.

Yeah sure some people think they need someone to talk to them every minute of the day. But ignoring someone isn’t right

[sirderpsalot123]

You're overthinking it. Just make him feel like he isn't the only one putting in effort.

[Anonymous]

If you don't put any effort in then the relationship is a failure