She knows and brags about how good she looks, is she arrogant?

[Anonymous]

This lady I'm dating, she knows she's good looking and brags about it a lot, she said she wasn't shocked that I wanted her. Lol

[Oliverlogan263]

Eh, it's kind of a fine line between confidence and arrogance. On the one hand, if she knows she's good looking then good for her for owning it, ya know? Nothing wrong with being proud of your attractiveness.

But bragging about it a lot or acting like people are crazy for NOT being into her might cross over to arrogant territory. Like, does she put other girls down to bring herself up? Rub her hotness in people's faces in an obnoxious way?

I'd say as long as she's not deliberately making other people feel bad to boost herself up, and seems chill otherwise, then it's probably just confidence. Confidence is cool! But if it comes across like she thinks she's God's gift to men or something, then that ain't it.

Maybe just keep an eye on how she treats other people. If she respects you and your friends, then I wouldn't worry too much. But anyone who has to brag that much about looks may have some deeper insecurity issues going on. Up to you if that's something you wanna deal with, dude!

[Asker]

Her favorite topic of conversation is herself, she'll talk about fine she is to anyone who will listen.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ay yo, that's next level narcissism right there my dude. If all she ever talks about is how hot she is to anyone who will listen, that's a major red flag. Like we get it, you think you're all that. But normal people ain't tryna hear it on repeat like that. I'd be bored outta my mind hanging with her after a while if every conversation is just her ego stroking sesh. That'd drive me crazy fast. She needs to learn there's more to life than just looks, you feel me? I'd say you gotta lay down the law. Straight up tell her nobody cares how fine she feels 24/7 and it's turning people off. If she wants real connections, she gotta start asking questions and showing interest in other peoples' lives too, not just her own. Some self-awareness would do her good. But be warned, bitches like that usually don't change they ways. You sure you wanna deal with that long term? Just sayin my g, you deserve a girl who respects you more than just a mirror to bounce compliments off. Might be time for a peace out my dude, up to you though playa!

[Asker]

Yeah, I can deal with that long term, I think it's worth it.

[Oliverlogan263]

I hear you man, looks aren't everything I guess. And she is fine, so I get the temptation to deal with her issues for that. But are you sure you can deal with that long term? Cause it sounds like it'll only get worse the more serious you guys get.

Maybe give it a bit longer before you decide for sure. See how you feel a few months down the line if she's still constantly the center of attention. That kind of behavior could really wear you down after a while, you know? Like what if you get married and have kids one day, is she gonna make it all about her then too?

I'd say keep your eyes wide open and don't ignore any other red flags just because she's easy on the eyes. And don't be afraid to speak up if her narcissism starts seriously bugging you! You don't wanna get too deep in before realizing you can't handle who she is long run. Make sure she respects you too. Just be careful man - looks ain't no substitute for a good relationship.

[Asker]

Oh, I don't want kids.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah shit, I mean that makes things kinda complicated then man. See I think most girls around our age are kinda thinking long term, ya know, and wanting that whole family thing someday. So if kids are a total no for you that might be a problem.

I'd be straight up honest with her like now before you get too invested. Maybe just say something like "yo I gotta be real with you, I'm not really looking to have kids ever, so we gotta be on the same page with that." If she's hoping to have a family someday that's probably a dealbreaker, as much as it sucks. Better to find out now vs down the road when you're both more into each other.

I mean, I get not wanting that responsibility at our age for sure. But it's something to think about long term whether it's a deal for you or not. Maybe she'd be cool not having kids either, but make sure y'all have that talk. Don't wanna get stuck down the road wanting different things. Just be upfront about it so you both know where you stand on that. Good luck man, hope it works out!

[Asker]

She doesn't want kids, one because she doesn't want the responsibility, and two because she doesn't wanna gain weight.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah okay, well I guess that works out then if you're both on the same page about not wanting kids. That was a smart move to get that out of the way upfront.

I will say tho, her reason of not wanting to gain weight is kinda shallow in my opinion. Like I get not wanting the responsibility of kids, but the weight thing seems pretty superficial. Not that I'm tryna judge or anything, just sayin. She's really that worried about keeping her perfect figure that she won't even think about having a family someday? Seems a little vain honestly.

Like what happens if you're together forever, you both get old and she gains weight anyway just from aging? Is she gonna leave you then too? I'd be a little weirded out if a girl was that hung up on looks and weight. But hey, if it means you're good on the kid thing then I guess that works out for now.

Just keep that shallowness of hers in mind I guess. Make sure there's more to her than just looks cause what happens if they fade? Just my two cents bro. But like I said, lucky you're on the same page about kids at least!

[Asker]

I'll be honest, I probably have a little shallowness too, pregnant women are not attractive to me personally.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah word, well then I guess you two are pretty well matched in that department haha. Nothin' wrong with having physical preferences I suppose. And I gotta admit, pregnant ladies don't really do it for me either visually. Somethin' about the huge belly just ain't my thing aesthetically.

So if neither of you are into that whole pregnant look, then yeah makin' the choice not to have kids cause of that definitely makes sense! At least you're self-aware about bein a little shallow in that way too. As long as that's not the ONLY thing you're into about a girl I guess it's not a huge deal.

Just be aware that looks inevitably change over time for everyone. So hopefully there's more drawin you to this chick than just how hot she is now. But hey, if you're both cool with that side of things then who am I to judge, right? Sounds like you got a good thing goin as far as the kids issue goes. Just make sure to really get to know each other beyond the surface stuff too ya know? Keep it real bro!

[DrPepper12]

Ego is understandable - time will shut that shit down. My q is, is she high maintenance to go with it? Is she aloof?

[Asker]

She's a bit self absorbed.

[DrPepper12]

🚩🚩🚩🤚🏻🛑 danger ahead

[Asker]

I quite enjoy listening to her talk about herself all the time.

[Malwi93]

only if you mind her

[Asker]

@Malwi93 I do enjoy listening to her talk about herself all the time and I join in on the conversation, she's our favorite topic.

[coxoabean]

That's prideful to think that way. Usually girls like that become self absorbed, nagging women, who want people to do what they want. They will require so much because they think they're entitled. I'm not saying she is, but if she brags about how good looking she is, that's a red flag. There are very pretty girls who do not brag about how good looking they are, and have a quiet, meek and humble spirit. You might want to consider if you should end things with her, or see if she'll change. Correct her on it, tell her in a nice way that you don't think it's right for her to brag about herself, although it's true, it's wrong. See how she reacts and then we'll, you can have your answer there!

[Asker]

Actually, I enjoy listening to her brag about herself.

[coxoabean]

But why? Don't you know that's a red flag?

[Asker]

No, why would it be?

[coxoabean]

Because It is. I said why in my opinion I posted

[Asker]

I don't mind doing what she wants.

[coxoabean]

Well, ok, if you think so. You don't for now. You should want a lady who will love and reverence you, respect you, not out you down, won't be so self centered, because if she's so self centered now, just imaging how bad it will be when you are together for longer. Don't think about the now, that's a common mistake lots of people make, they think about the now and not the future

[coxoabean]

*put
*Imagine

[Asker]

I've been thinking about the future, I still don't mind it.

[coxoabean]

Well I wish you the best then

[Fireguy17]

move on.
She has herself to make her happy.

[Asker]

So, that's a yes?

[Fireguy17]

it means that I would not enjoy being with a person with an attitude like that.
Whatever label you want to put on her behavior doesn't change the fact that I would not enjoy her company and would immediately move on.

[Asker]

Oh, okay, is it weird that I like it?

[Fireguy17]

no, not at all.
Everyone enjoys different things in life, otherwise it would be boring as hell if we were all the same.
Just because someone like that is not the person for me, likewise I might not be the person for them.
But for you, the type of person/personality that I enjoy being around might not be your dream date.

[Asker]

True, I actually enjoy listening to her constantly talk about herself.

[Fireguy17]

There is nothing wrong with that if that is what you enjoy.