Is it fair that my parents won't let me bring my boyfriend in my bedroom at 21?

[Anonymous]

Im 21 and sometimes i just want a quiet comfy place to talk with my boyfriend. i dont mind if the door is left open. and before anyone says their house their rules, I've seen my brother in the past bring his girlfriend in the room while my parents were there. Guess what they didn't say anything. Note that im the youngest child among three. They like my boyfriend so they really just illogical. When i ask my mom she just doesn't really want to discuss with me and says because i said so or because i dont want someone in my house while im doing chores. These just sound like lame excuses. Dont suggest cafes, bars or parks etc done that been there. Im talking about something else.

Parents are right

Parents are wrong

mixed feelings

[Finchie40]

It isn’t fair , and it seems parents’ are more concerned over their daughters’ than over their sons’ in most cases , but it is their home and their rules so it is what it is. When I was younger dating girls’ that were still living with their parents’ I noticed they had stricter rules than their brothers’ did , which I always thought wasn’t fair for her. I use to have to climb in through her bedroom window and be quiet, just to spend time with her , or she would have to sneak out to come see me , if it was past her curfew. So you being 21 and not allowed to have your door closed when your boyfriend is over? I agree that is kind of silly to me , you are an adult and your parents’ are way too strict and protective over you. You are best to start making your plans to move out , and go be on your own or move in with a friend and get your own place together , your parents’ won’t be able to say shit, if you do that, that will be your best bet. Parents’ can be way over protective at times , it just means they love and care about you and don’t want you making dumb decisions , also most of you girls’ can be very vulnerable when it comes to boys , thinking oh he really loves me and cares about me , when really all he wants to do is stick his dick into you. So parents’ pretty much know what boys’ are thinking, especially if you haven’t been dating your boyfriend for a very long time , it’s going take your parents’ time to accept your boyfriend and trust him , most parents’ assume the boyfriend won’t be in the picture for the long haul , just the short haul , so they don’t want you being stupid and possibly getting knocked up by some boy that possibly isn’t in it for the long haul , most girls’ I have dated , it took a long time for her parents’ to really accept me and trust me , they just assumed I was in it for the sex and nothing else , they didn’t believe me when I told them I really liked their daughter , they just rolled their eyes and said yea ok , like we never heard that before. lol Lucky for me , my parents’ weren’t really strict with me , let alone I don’t have any sisters, ’ just brothers’ so my parents’ didn’t really say shit when I had girls’ over , All my Dad would tell me is to not knock her up and wear condoms lol as for My Mom , my Mom never said anything , she would just observe and be polite and if she didn’t think a girl was good for me , she would address her concerns to me. Little did I realize my parents’ were. Pretty spot on about the girl and I would think Damn I should of listened to my parents’ lol

[ohsheeT]

. I have the biggest smile on my face right now
. And the reason being. I just had this flash..

When were you born into this world we are a blank sheet of nothing brain... But we have all this love within us we have the best of everything in us. And then our parents change who we Are by their beliefs our brothers and sisters change who we Are with their beliefs whatever happens to us in this growing up time. Of time changes us some of us... Some of us remember where we came from and no where we're going.

The reason why I bring all that up is because I read your question I felt your words I felt your heart your passion you're honesty of who you Are.

And you're saying no fair why can't I have the same respect trust as my brother

So then I picture your boyfriend going through your window and you getting caught and in trouble.

. And then you get a label..

And none of this would have happened. If your parents just trusted themselves on how they raised you and the foundation they gave to you and believed in you

I don't think it has anything to do with your brother I don't think it has anything to do with you I think it has something to do with your parents and they can't trust themselves they don't believe in themselves so they take it out on you and program you that way so when you have a child.

You're either going to remember this and raise your daughter better than you were raised and believe in her more than your parents believed in you... You can't change yesterday but you might be able to change today depends on how you look at it..

I know I didn't answer your question but I didn't think it was fair.. . And it doesn't matter if you're the youngest you should all be treated the same way

[Asker]

if i ever have kids ill make sure to communicate with them be strict but reasonable and if i have rules ill explain why yes or why not too. not just say because i said so

[ohsheeT]

Lmao yes for sure

You definitely have to have rules I mean you have to set a good foundation you're not going to be able to tell them what to do all your life and you don't want to you want them to do what they want to do but they know the consequences and they respect those
If you communicate to them as they're growing up I mean talking short little sentences.
That's who they will become if you yell and scream and shake your hand at them or hit them or whatever that's who they become they watch you they become you except for worse if you yell and scream at them say knock that off blah blah blah blah blah well you just taught them to get what they want they have to yell scream and threaten and that's just not right and if they screw up we've all done it you don't put them in time out you don't put them on restriction you don't take their laptop or their phone away what you do you give them more responsibility you don't need to take away something from them you give them more responsibility because that's life

We all know that kids are going to try to get away with stuff of course they are you have to pick your battles you have to acknowledge that's what they're going to do even though you might not want them to but it's all in how you raise them for the first seven eight years after that they're basically their own little people so you have to be well I don't know about you I had to be two different people I had to be dad. The teacher I had to watch my mouth my body language and everything I said around my friends or anybody because if you take your words out there someplace that's what they're going to do I could be myself when I was around my kids but when I was around my kids I had to be the dad the provider the teacher I wanted my kids to be better than me and that's what I got I never had to yell never had to scream never hit them because all of that is wrong you teach everything you do when you're raising children you're teaching no matter what it is

[ohsheeT]

Oh yeah see I would have let my daughter have her boyfriend in there but I would not have let my son have his girlfriend in there the doors would have came off of his bedroom and that's just because he's a boy and he's going to try and try my daughter kind of sounds like you she's not going to do anything stupid right in front of her parents... And just for the hell of it just for the laugh of it if I allowed that with my daughter I would hear her probably giggling and then I would hear moaning sounds just because she wants me to come in there and say Wtf... Because she would want to have a good laugh out of it this actually happened and what I did is I ran into the room and I said don't worry I called the fire department and the ambulance will be here any minute I got to run to the store and she started yelling wait wait wait what I said don't worry they'll be here I thought somebody's having a heart attack just answer the door when they call when they knock Dad wait LOL

[Account]

I have mixed feelings about this. If their behavior was the same towards your brother, then I would side with them and agree with the: "Their house, their rules", however the fact that they behave in an unfair way towards you and they allowed your brother to get away with such stuff, can be quite painful to you and it could make you feel that there is an unfair treatment going on solely based on gender. So I understand understand why you consider it unfair and I see your point.

[Rosexøxø]

Yes along with it not being fair that you can’t have your own place right now to enjoy your boyfriend.

Also safety first and I humbly suggest no kids until career is established. Cause you can drop from 100-0 real quick and find yourself in the wastelands if you produce kids and don’t produce money as the prerequisite- fast. Enough.

Wishing you both a good time, and if it comes to that point, a happy, healthy, and life long marriage. :] 👍

[Rosexøxø]

Voted mixed feelings cause they will always be
Our mentors

It’s just how they go about saying what they feel or concern about.

But on the other note at some point we have to live with the decisions we make and acknowledge this and respect this truth.
They can’t prevent or wipe a clean slate for us.

No matter how
Much they care

Or how long they’ve been there.

Not even how well they may know or love us.

So they’re wrong sadly to say for them. But their household, their rules 🤷‍♀️

It’d be ideal they respect you as a human regardless of it being their home, and support you until you step out, but their support only does well when you have ambitious goals and a REAL respect (not that you think, but you KNOW and just DO have) for them.

So it’s better that their household rules are
Respected as they are a type of landlord to you

And they actually worked hard for their home

And you’ll have to do the same as do I and everyone.

It’s just a way of life we come
To know very fast.

So I say simply the treatment towards you is just about as unfair as life is as well as you not having your own place yet or your boyfriend.

So try to work towards that and find ways to cope with this.

Are they right or wrong? It’s debatable and could be both. It’s surely technical. So I vote mixed.

[Rosexøxø]

Just read the entire thing to completion and I can relate. They just never seen/ viewed you as responsible. You’re stuck being seen as the youngest until you have your own job house and car. Your financial freedom and independence.

It’s also possible that they just think it’s dangerous for you cause they don’t want you to be taken advantage of or impregnated.

Meanwhile the son they kind of don’t worry for this matter.

It’s also possible they just don’t have a respect for you; I hope not, but this is how my family was. They always seen me as a dependent and helpless or procrastinating person. They never saw me for who I was and the potential and VALUE I held and still hold. So you just need your own place you can go to for respect privacy planning and your own future.

They’re unfair

This scenario is wrong

It lacks respect and respectful communication

They don’t hold you to that level or standard as they should. Not even family speaking but as an adult human lady. You’re a person. A grown person. So you need to find a way to cope and begin your silent planning to break off from them. Once on your own you can adequately vocalize your piece and not worry about backlash, repercussions, faulty consequences, and etc.

Your life needs
To start right away and you need to think for yourself. Go where you’re respected or have your own place to just be, and live with the choices you make and want for your life.

You’re entirely capable and now’s a great time to start.

Use work friends and school as excuse to find quiet time with your boyfriend and he needs to be able to provide this in return as well. Otherwise he’s not really thinking ahead, about his goals, or you (both).

Find someone to be ambitious along side of you. And realize this just anger will push you in the right direction. Just don’t be purely emotion. Add some logic to it. 👍

[Asker]

They just think of me as the baby. My mom would “joke” so you two in your vacation will be sleeping in separate beds hahaha… She never really gave me a sex talk she basically doesn't want me to do it. But if I turned 30 and didn't have a boyfriend like my sis she would pressure me to find one. Thats what she did to my sis. And she wouldn’t care if my sis got pregnant cause sheis 30 with a job and im just starting. Well there is this thing called protection and she is clearly overreacting. So i shouldn't do anything till i have a stable income? And I don't know how this comment turned into this but yeah i just wanted to go in my room to talk with my boyfriend I wouldn't do anything with him while my parents are there ew. Sorry for ranting.

[HawkPerception]

I don't entirely agree with people saying "Their house, their rules." I think if your parents want you to be happy, they should want to meet your partner and let them develop a relationship with you. They should let them come over and spend time with you.

Parents that are too restricting prevent themselves from having a relationship with their kids and that hurts them down the line. It's especially not fair that your siblings have been allowed to have their partners over. Your parents are probably discriminating based on your sex.

If it was my kids, I'd let them date after 16 years old and I'd want to meet their partners. I'd also let them have sex, but tell them to use protection and warn them if they have kids I'm not supporting them (but it would mostly be just scare tactics). I'd want my kids to be happy, open, and honest with me. I want to be their parent and guiding light for times they're lost and also their friend when they want someone to confide in.

Sadly though, you can't change your situation with your parents and not everyone thinks the same way. The truth is, your parents are doing what they think is best for you even if it may not be the right call.

Do I think it's fair? No. Do I think they love you and care for you? Yes.

[Ladsin2]

You're Christian aren't you? You would let your daughter take a man into her room of your home?

[HawkPerception]

@Ladsin2 I'm actually not Christian. My family is Catholic and Christian. I'm agnostic. And yes... I would. If she doesn't do it there, she'll find somewhere else to do it behind my back. When you're already past puberty, your body is literally telling you it wants sex. I would not want my daughter to sleep around or be an OnlyFans girl. If she did that, she'd find herself on her own. But I would not be opposed to her dating seriously and being open with me about who she dates and potentially has sex with. 16 to me is a fine age to date. It's when you're curious about the opposite sex.

As long as her aim with her parters is to find someone to marry, it's no issue to me. We learn from mistakes in our lives. It shapes us and helps us make better decisions in the future.

[Ladsin2]

Must've had you confused with someone else.

[HawkPerception]

@Ladsin2 I consider myself pretty conservative for the most part, so I might have come across that way. If anything, I somewhat take it as a compliment if someone associates my views to being religious.

[Summeroflove]

Like others have said it’s probably best to move out, yes you’re a adult now, but at the same time you’re living with your parents. You’re 18-24 years of age so it’s up to you what you decide to do.

It’s weird when parents treat certain kids differently without a reason to

[mandyfire98]

At 21 you're a grown ass woman lol. It's bizarre your parents don't treat you like one and treat you like a 15 year old.

[Ladsin2]

What bills is she paying that she's grown?

[mandyfire98]

Doesn't matter. She can join the military, vote, buy alcohol. She's not a child so why are her parents acting like she has the mentality of a child? She gets convicted as an adult as well. Legally a full ass adult.

But treated like somebody in highschool who has a fucking curfew and can't spend time with her boyfriend. Which by the way, most legal adults have significant others.

This isn't highschool. Next thing her parents are gonna drive them to the movies and not let them go on dates by themselves either. It's fucking weird.

[Asker]

thank you my female friends also share my opinion. they dont have this prob with their parents. not to mention my boyfriend is not a random stranger they ve met him plenty of times and we ve been together for more than 1.5 years.

[Ladsin2]

Not really. Nobody wants their daughter dicked down in their own home. I find it strange that women don't understand this concept.

[Asker]

@Ladsin2 i find it strange that you can't read what i wrote in my initial post. i guess English is not your first language cause your comprehension is lacking

[Ladsin2]

Nothing in your comment repudiates what I said.

[Peridot25]

@Ladsin2 But, men are allowed to do whatever they want when it comes to women? 🤔

[mandyfire98]

Yeah notice the brother has no rules at all. He can "dick down" girls all he wants in the home.

[Ladsin2]

Correct. Parent's aren't scared of their boys having sex with a woman. Again, I don't understand how women find this confusing. Parents aren't afraid of their daughters getting into fist fights at school and they're not afraid of their boys having sex. They are afraid of their sons getting into fights and their daughters having sex.

[mandyfire98]

Why are they only afraid of their daughters having sex but not their son? Explain that.

[Ladsin2]

Firstly, there's this fascinating thing called pregnancy. If a woman gets pregnant by the wrong man it's a surefire way to ruin almost all of her opportunities in life. That's not the same for men.

Secondly, women are always their "little princesses who can do no wrong". They're trying to protect their daughter's innocence and virtu. Nobody cares about men because they're evolutionarily expendable.

[mandyfire98]

"Nobody cares about men"

Oh boy here we go 🤣

So a girl, pregnancy is the issue but with a guy it's not even, though child support is a thing that the guy will pay so financially he is responsible and that's a huge deal. If the guy can't be responsible financially for that child then the parents will be financially responsible for their grandchild.

Seems super serious and important to me. Seems like something those reasonable parents would consider as well 🤷‍♀️

[Ladsin2]

Boys at 15-18 are making hardly any money so child support is insignificant. Men are biologically cheap and are self sustaining. Women are expensive and not. This is why they're treated differently. Between 1:8 and 1:18 men throughout antiquity were able to reproduce as opposed to 4:5 women. It simply is what it is.

[OlderAndWiser]

What is it that you want to do with your boyfriend in the bedroom?

[Asker]

just talk i can have the door open from which they can have a clear view if they have any worries my bed and room is exactly in the middle of the hallway.

[OlderAndWiser]

1. Expecting things to always be "fair" is setting yorself up for frustration and disappointment. Life will not always be fair. Deal with it.

2. Your intentions may be to simply have a conversation in your bedroom but your parents are concerned that what begins as conversation may lead to sex and they are trying to avoid that possibility. I know that if you want to have sex, they can't prevent you from doing it, and they also know that, but they don't want to make it easy for you. And, if you JUST wanted to have a conversation, you could do that in other locations.

3. Sons and daughters are different. Boys can't get pregnant; they can get a girl pregnant but that does not concern most parents as much as the possibility of a daughter becoming pregnant. Again, not fair, but that's the way it is. Your parents are not obligated to treated sons and daughters alike. They never bought you a jock strap and they never bought your brother a training bra. They probably spent moremoney on clothes for you. Etc.

4. If you want to have sex, what about going to where he lives?

[RingOfFire]

Sorry kiddo. Their house their rules. Doesn't have to be logical, doesn't have to be "fair," just has to be their rule.

You'll have your chance to make your own rules when you have your own home. Until then you just have to suck it up and do things their way.

They probably feel protective of you so you should view it as a caring gesture even if it doesn't make sense to you. It makes sense to them and you should be willing to make that small sacrifice for their comfort just as they're making some very large sacrifices for yours.

[Peridot25]

What about her brother? 🤔

[RingOfFire]

What about it?

He is a guy, she is a girl. He is older, she is younger. Either or both of those could be reasons why they feel differently about them.

[Peridot25]

It’s definitely a gender thing.

[Asker]

@Peridot25 yup…

[RingOfFire]

It's because her parents are in touch with reality. Girls are more vulnerable to risk than boys. They are protective of you. That should make you feel good not bad. They are not asking much. It's not like your boyfriend can't come to the house.

[Peridot25]

Honestly, I hope her brother gets his girlfriend pregnant before they marry. I would like to see what will happen.

[Peridot25]

And imagine his gf’s parents getting upset she got pregnant out of wedlock. Wouldn’t that be a sight?

[RingOfFire]

🙄
...

[Peridot25]

Wow! Got nothing to say? I’m shocked. Maybe because you know I’m right.
Once he gets his girlfriend pregnant, he’ll have to step up. Whether they planned it or not.

[Troll_Hater]

@Peridot25 her parents are just trolls who are manipulating her to leave their house without directly kicking her out.

[RingOfFire]

Right, and the trolls are paying the bills so too bad for her.

[Peridot25]

Sure they’re paying the bills. But, don’t you think the rules should apply to everyone?

[Peridot25]

I mean, why let one person get away with something without consequences while everyone suffers? What is it about that one person you favor the most?

[Peridot25]

Let me ask you something. Say you had sisters and they got pregnant. They would get in trouble, right? But, what if YOU got a girl pregnant? Why would you get away with it?

[Troll_Hater]

@Peridot25 because he's not the one with a womb, you troll.

[Peridot25]

Says the troll

[Peridot25]

But, he still has to take responsibility for his actions, right? And his girlfriend has a womb so 🤷‍♀️

[Troll_Hater]

@Peridot25 do not say that again. I hate trolls.

But, he would in this hypothetical scenario be able to make a choice. The girlfriend has no choice.

[SweetJoyGirl]

It is their house. They don’t want you having intercourse and getting pregnant under their roof.
Don’t beat around the bush and just say “talk to my boyfriend”. Girl, please, that is story for the birds. 😂

Move out and do what you want. That simple. It is their house, so it is their rules.

[Peridot25]

But, her brother can have sex with his girlfriend and risk getting HER pregnant? 🤔

[SweetJoyGirl]

@Peridot25 I don't know where in my opinion I said that was right. 🤔

[Peridot25]

Because you think she’s the only one that will get pregnant under their roof. What makes you think the girlfriend won’t get pregnant?

[Peridot25]

I just find it odd that because the brother is having sex that won’t make his girlfriend pregnant. But, if OP has sex, that will make her pregnant.

[DrPepper12]

Their house, their rules. You can move out but I would ride that gravy train and save $ and put up with their shit

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Ah, let it.
You're tool old to understand 😏😆

[DrPepper12]

? @Maybe_Maybe_not

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

It's okay, the joke missed it seems lol

[art84]

I had a friend who was 19 years old and she moved out with her boyfriend. Granted it was cause she couldn't do anything with her boyfriend at her mom's house. It basically was her mom's house and her rules. She and her husband now live together in their own apartment.

[WhitneySnow]

I think your parents are wrong. I’m 18 and my parents allowed me to let my boyfriend sleep over once I turned 18 (but not before). Still, they’re your parents and you live in their house. What are you gonna do?

[natured]

DO you live under their roof?
Then what they say goes...
Sorry not sorry, but we've all been through that.

Wait until you can work, have your own appartment and then you do whatever you gotta do without asking for any permission

And also, it's weird for parents to know that their daughter is with a young man in her room... it's cringe cringe

[Puppystarfish23]

If you pay board and he's nice and respectful I don't see the issue. Honestly when I met my now husband I was 21 and my parents weren't stupid either they knew one way or another it was gonna happen eventually and I think they'd had rather it happen in a safe environment then in a back alley or a sleazy hotel.

I think your parents are being a bit silly your 21 not 15. Your a grown adult and make your own life choices by now

[Daniela1982]

To be clear, it is not your brother who could get pregnant. That is their thoughts. Unfair, maybe, but they are looking for your best interests. It is also dumb of them, as they may prompt you to move in with your boyfriend. At least in their home they will know you are safe.

[WindAtMyBack]

I think it's unreasonable, especially if you leave the door open. But whether you want to hear it or not, it really is their house their rules. Plus, I don't know you or your boyfriend like they do. Maybe they have a good reason that we don't know about.

But whatever their reason, it's their house their rules. You are 21. You are plenty old enough to move out, and should move out.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Definitely wrong, because counter-intuitive decision when this is an established relationship. Youngsters need this intimacy, they need a safe place. Parents are supposed to protect, so they should give the safe place they own. Parents can take stupid decisions, can be clueless when they invent rules they don't even question. I'm a father, I know that jazz lol

[Peridot25]

It’s funny y’all are purposely ignoring the fact her brother does the same. Sure, it’s their house their rules and she can move out. But, the question is, why does the brother get away with it?
To be honest, I think it’s a gender thing. Your parents are old school that your brother can get away things because he’s a guy but you, a woman, have to be innocent and pure.
Wait until he gets his girlfriend pregnant and then things will turn around.

[magiusX26]

though i get your point, the "their, their rules" part still applies. however, since you are grown, there is always things like, his place, get a motel room (not saying sex, just privacy to chat in peace) , a neutral 3rd party's place, out in some place in nature such as hiking trails, etc. think outside the box and in this case, your room.

[Friendlybro79]

Mixed feelings. They should treat you all the same. That said, as hard as it is to move out and afford rent nowadays, there's always that option. Get a few friends and split rent and have your boyfriend over whenever you want. Door closed too.

[Smashingdoozy]

It's unfair and annoying but unfortunately if that's what they say then all you can do is try changing their minds

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I don't agree with your parents. You should be able to have your boyfriend over and be allowed to have privacy with your boyfriend.

[Nikki1989]

That is totally nuts. I was sleeping with my first boyfriend when I was 12 going on 13. 21 is just ridiculous.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Doesn't have to be fair. Is it fair that they pay for the mortgage and you just sit there despite being a capable-bodied adult? You can live by all your rules when you pay for a place to have them.

[noohair]

Life is not fair. My daughter is living at her mothers house. She makes good money has a car. He mother will not let her go out after work. Why, because. I don't think that your request is unreasonable. House rules suck.

[Peridot25]

If you had a son, how much would he get away with things that your daughter couldn’t?

[noohair]

@Peridot25 I don't have a son so I can't honestly say. I do find "What ifs" to be a wasted of time and energy.

[Peridot25]

@noohair Something tells me you would favor him more.

[Peridot25]

Just like OP’s parents do with their son.

[noohair]

@Peridot25 Something tells me that you know nothing about me. If you are not happy where you are, move out.

[Peridot25]

I’m quite happy where I’m at. But, I still find it funny men can get away with anything and rules don’t apply to them.

[Makeushiver]

If you are living in their house whatever they say is fair. If you are not living and being supported by them than you should ignore them but is they are supporting you you need to follow the restrictions they put down.

[Datboi65]

At least your parents don't make you pay rent haha.

On a real note tho, as soon as you get your degree and start paying taxes, move out.

[itsannalee]

If you still live with parents just follow their rules, their house their rules. You are grown woman, get your own place and you can be free.

[Peridot25]

What about her brother?

[itsannalee]

Again, their house their rules.
Some people more strict to daughter, because thinking daughter are precious.
If you don’t like the rules, get your own place, i have my own rules in my house.
You can only have foods at the dining table, no one can open my room door/go inside, even my parents if they visit it, no shoes inside, etc.

[Peridot25]

What if her brother gets his girlfriend pregnant? He should pay the consequences, right?

[Caroline91]

@Peridot25 Of course he should "pay the consequences" if he gets anyone pregnant. Nobody has actually said he shouldn't in this thread. And, if I were the parents, no unmarried children would be having boyfriends or girlfriends in their bedrooms. If they are out of school and not working full time or looking for a job full time, they would have no adult privileges in my home. When they are taking full adult responsibilities in their lives, they can have their own places and make all of their own rules. But the reality is, if they are still at least semi dependent on me, as their parent, then I am the one who is going to end up "paying the consequences" if there is a pregnancy or STD or anything else.

[itsannalee]

@Peridot25 of course, If you are mature enough to do adultery and have unprotected sex then get someone pregnant, you are mature enough to be responsible.

[Levin]

I guess there is double standards.

They don't want their sweet princess little girl to get dicked.

[Samantha36]

Jesus. You're 21. That's very over powering from your parents. My parents had that rule... until i was 16.. the legal age of concent.

[SheSeesSeashells]

That's how my parents were with us even into adulthood. They're not being mean, they just want to protect you. Try to have a conversation with your mom in a non-combative way. Good luck!

[HelpfulWoman]

soon as its one behaviour for one kid, different for another, they're in the wrong

[spartan55]

Your brother was probably banging his girlfriend with the door open... 😂😂

[NYlatefun]

If I had a 21 yo daughter I’d let her be in her bedroom with her boyfriend for sure. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

[9in_Serpent]

You are your own person and can make your own decisions

[msc545]

It is your parent's house, not yours, and the room you sleep in is also theirs, so they get to decide what happens there.

[JesseP1nk]

IF you live on your own. You can do whatever you want. BUT you can't expect your parents allow anyone in their home. Its their home...

[Pete671]

It's their house, they are right even if you disagree with them, it's not really your bedroom, it's your room in their house,,,

[Anonymous]

Seriously--you need to get your own place at 21 so you can have all the crazy sex you want whenever you want it. Get on that! And then get it ON!

[LiamJHayden]

You might not like it, but you are their baby and it is their house.

[jahaims]

Your parents are supporting a grown adult. If you want the perks of being an adult act like one.

[nawtee_me]

It is your parent’s house and their rules. However at some point they have to trust that you know what you are doing…

[onedarkcloud]

Your choice abide by what they say or move out. No matter your argument you still lose.

[Crazzyyworld]

Well if your parents are decent it’s best to listen if not don’t

[shortster]

You're the youngest; so of course your parents are going to baby you.

[Anonymous]

Time to move out. Get a roommate if you have to. That's what I did because I couldn't stand my mother's constant screaming.

[tinderf]

It's not fair, because you can decide what you wanna do after being 18.

[Anonymous]

Do you live with your parents? Then yes, they re right.

[Anonymous]

You're 21, time to move out, get your own place, and do what and who you want.

[SugarSugarplum]

Are you paying the mortgage?

[coxoabean]

Maybe they just want to protect you

[seviyorummm]

I wonder why your family treats you unfairly?

[slatyb]

Sounds like it's time to move out.

[exitseven]

their house, their rules.

[Babygirl_S]

I’m 27 and my parents don’t let me date !!

[Asker]

that sucks. but you can do it. dont listen to them. I've heard of similar instances but after the girl got a bit older they expected her to magically have a partner and start a life with him.

[Ladsin2]

Why are you at your parents house at 21?

[Asker]

A right I've heard that in other countries people move out early. In my country thats not the case you graduate uni you get a job work for 4-5 years save money then at 27-28 you move out. or a bit earlier if you have someone to share the rent. the average salary is €900-1200 and a 1 bedroom apartment will cost 600-650 per month plus necessities, gas etc. If you get a good job with time you might get a raise but moving with so little money is not really an option.

[Ladsin2]

Wasn't much of an option here either, but I just moved in with some friends and worked in a few different states. That said... Their house, their rules. Nobody wants their daughter to get dicked down in their own home. The disrespect is incredible.

[Peridot25]

@Ladsin2 But, a guy is allowed to dick down a woman in his parents’ home? 🤔

[Ladsin2]

@Peridot25 They wouldn't like it, but are certainly less concerned about it.

[Peridot25]

But, why though?

[Ladsin2]

@Peridot25 Firstly, there's this fascinating thing called pregnancy. If a woman gets pregnant by the wrong man it's a surefire way to ruin almost all of her opportunities in life. That's not the same for men.

Secondly, women are always their "little princesses who can do no wrong". They're trying to protect their daughter's innocence and virtu. Nobody cares about men because they're evolutionarily expendable.

[Peridot25]

Ok, so how do we change all that? How can we make it equal to both sexes when it comes sex and babies?

[Peridot25]

I know men can’t biologically get pregnant, but shouldn’t they be more responsible, too? Say her brother got his girlfriend pregnant, he should pay for his actions. And what if his girlfriend goes batshit crazy one day?

[Ladsin2]

@Peridot25 why do you want to be more like a man? Why not just be a woman? Why does being more like a man mean being like a poorly behaved man? Why not emulate chivalric virtues that you actually want to see in men?

[Peridot25]

I just want men to pay for the same consequences as women do. I want them to have little to no opportunities in life if they have a kid with the wrong woman. I want them to stay innocent and pure like women are expected to.

[Peridot25]

We need to make changes where everyone suffers equally for their actions.

[Ladsin2]

@Peridot25 Do you want to be drafted for war?

[Peridot25]

Absolutely not! However, men should have that choice too. Thankfully times have changed about drafting people. I think anyway.

[Peridot25]

And let’s be honest, the military don’t even care about their people anyway.

[Ladsin2]

@Peridot25 you don't want the responsibilities of manhood, but you want the "positives" of it. Doesn't make sense to me. Just be a woman and be happy in your role I legitimately don't understand why women are so unhappy. Their lives are easier by every metric, but they're unhappier than they've ever been in history. My presumption is because they're trying to be men.

[Peridot25]

Alright fine. How do I get myself drafted?

[Ladsin2]

@Peridot25 Women can join the military... I think the point is fairly simple though. You can't be a man, just like I can't be a woman. Women get certain privileges that I never will, and I'm ok with that. Why aren't women ok with recognizing likewise? And again, why is it the most boorish of male behaviors that women want to emulate?

[Peridot25]

What privileges do we get?

[Peridot25]

Are you referring to, if we divorce our spouse, we get his assets and custody of our kids?

[Ladsin2]

@Peridot25 I find it interesting that you don't answer why you want women free to emulate boorish male behaviors rather than asking for a better class of men...
As far as benefits women receive chivalry, get loads of attention from the opposite sex without having to do anything, don't have to work it's optional, women are more likely to graduate college, attain a graduate degree, work in more posh jobs for less hours, don't have to be drafted, aren't considered expendable, and women get to rear the next generation which appears to be quite the rewarding experience. Those are the things that first come to mind.

[Peridot25]

I don’t! I don’t like seeing anyone act that way. I’ve seen how people act when I’m out in public. It’s why I stay indoors.
Well, with the attention, that’s not really our fault. Men choose to give us attention. For working, don’t men want to be the providers? I got nothing on the college part because I didn’t think women had a higher chance of graduating. I definitely don’t work at a posh job. I work in retail. To be fair, literally everyone is expendable. As for drafting, these days, ANYONE can be drafted. Back then not so much.

[Ladsin2]

@Peridot25 the point is that women receive benefits for being women. I don't hold any grudges against that and I don't want to change the world so that either women don't receive those benefits or that I also receive them. I'm a man and want to be treated like a man. Women today however, want to be treated both like men and women and it doesn't make sense.
Men are biologically expendable. One man can have a hundred kids whereas women can only have a couple. Men are built to provide for and protect women. Men are inexpensive and self sufficient. Women are the opposite. This is why we're treated differently, because we are different.

[Caroline91]

@Peridot25 You're how old? And you don't understand how and why the double standard exists?

[Caroline91]

@ladsin2 Annnnd... you have just put your finger on the exact point we all should be focused on. Women's role has always been to elevate men, to nurture and encourage the best behavior in all of us. It starts with our role as the first teacher of the child and is also encapsulated in our role as a refuge to our loved ones, especially our husbands and children. People can call me old fashioned, but I consider myself a truly liberated woman.

[gatixek710]

Their house their rules

[jimmy2]

Wow 21 you are an adult

[CubaPirate]

Their house their rules I'm afraid

[scott04sa22]

It's their house

[In_Trance]

Do you pay rent?