I can't make my hips wider I can't magically get bigger boobs. I want to feel beautiful. I want to be the kind of woman men imagine when they imagine a ideal woman. Some women get to be every one’s type I have to be me I’m no ones ideal no matter how beautiful I try to get.
Chances are you are fine as you are and there are probably guys you know who are "thinking about you in that way".
Big boobs are not all that important and certainly not wide hips.
And, yes, many men are like this: car owners
Does he want to own and drive a Maserati? Of course.
Does he need to drive a Maserati? No, of course not.
But, does he want to own a car that gets shitty gas mileage and needs constant servicing? No.
He wants a car that gets him to where he needs to be, on time, and reliable - not being in the shop a lot or having costly repairs.
This is why most men are really, more or less, content with most women.
If she's beautiful, but high maintenance, that's a problem.
If she's such an uggo that it requires he drink a lot to deal with her, that's a problem.
But, if she's:
Indeed, I look at so many women now on the web and pretty much the majority of them are attractive. Are they goddesses? No. But is there anything WRONG with them? No and that's what a mature man understands. The mature man may not get what he wants in terms of his "perfection" but he's reached the age in which he realizes people age and personality is a lot more important than looks.
SO...
Don't despair. You are almost certainly worthy of a relationship and love with most men your age.
Let me try to give a solution from the guy perspective, which should in theory benefit you as well. This will be a hard pill to swallow so get ready.
I used to be attracted to women like most guys. After realizing that I was conditioned by society, and that beauty is mostly fake, am I not attracted to women anymore.
So the solution is not to be conventionally “beautiful” as society dictates. That is participating in a farce, a silly game. The solution is to be free from that toxic game. By not participating you are not giving up, you are not a quitter, you are not a loser. In fact you are a winner at life if you leave most/all that behind.
Beauty has its place to enrich a relationship. but we have gone way overboard as a society leading to insecurity such as your post.
That also means the key to happiness is not winning that game. That game is not the truth, it is the opposite of the truth. Deep down we value truth.
This is hard to accept because we are brainwashed to think looks are very important. A lot of that is just a scheme to sell cosmetics and stuff. Once you realize the lie then a lot of things start to make sense like what life is really about and how to live it worry-free.
Don’t be jealous of “perfect” women. They’re fake and the guys who obsess over them are valuing fakery. That’s not something to be jealous of.
We’re also too obsessed with dating. The same forces behind the cosmetic farce pressure us to not be single etc. Needing to always be in a relationship is propaganda, and again it’s probably for the economy. My advice doesn’t help you get a boyfriend. My advice is to not be obsessed with getting a boyfriend, not because that will help you get a boyfriend but because it is what I believe to be the true state you should be in and you will be happier thinking less about beauty and boyfriends. Being obsessed with these things makes us unhappy.
I mean at least if someone is interested in you in you it's cause they like you because if you're what is considered as perfect or conventionally attractive they just go to talk to you because they find you hot and they also fake interest in what you're saying just to get sexy pics or / and get in your bed and if you don't give them what they want (easy sex) they try to guilt trip you / manipulate or force you and if it still doesn't work they insult you and try to kill your self confidence to get you to put out for them.
All of this while they don't give a shit about you actually, don't even like your personality or anything and the only that interest them is just to have sex with you either consensually or by force. So there's truly nothing to be jealous of...
I get what you're saying. But I think a guy that loves you won't care about what type of body you have, what size of boobs you have, if your hair is short or long, etc. He'll just love the person you are, including your body, mind, & soul. I remember when I was younger, I had wanted to look just like those anime girls because in my mind, that's what guys liked. But now that I'm older, I realize that every man is different, so they'll like a variety of body types, perfection doesn't matter.
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Beauty comes from the eye of the beholder , you will eventually find yourself a guy that accepts you for you that thinks you are absolutely beautiful to his eyes , don’t worry about the attention that other girls’ are receiving. What does attention honestly do for you? Say you were getting a lot of attention from guys’ , What would you do with all that attention? Enjoy the fact that a bunch of thirsty men want to fuck you and that’s it? Or would you rather have a guy love you and accept you for who you are and cherish and appreciate you , that doesn’t have eyes for anyone else but you? Cuz I am pretty damn sure he would want the same from you , if you were his girlfriend. People that seek validation are only hurting themselves , they are grasping onto something that doesn’t matter whatsoever , unless you are a famous celebrity or a model but that’s how they pay their bills but other than that validation means absolute shit. People that constantly seek validation , are people that get used for sex mainly and nothing else. And yes once in awhile it’s nice to get checked out and receive a compliment from someone , but receiving them way to much could make you feel uncomfortable, Even famous celebrities and models feel uncomfortable having a shit ton of people going crazy over them. Why don’t think celebrities try to hide themselves when they are out in public? Because they don’t want all the attention they are receiving. So my advice to you is to learn to accept who you are as a person and stop comparing yourself to other people , comparing yourself is just going to make you feel worse about yourself , when you learn to accept yourself for who you are , that’s when other people will notice you and will want to be closer to you. Seeking validation makes you come off as weak because you are constantly grasping for someone to like you. Love yourself first and accept yourself first and i guarantee you will start getting attention.
i am full aware that there are beauty standards which are only made more intense through social media - be blonde, skinny, big hips butt boobs - and some men really feed into this. but understand that there are about 4 billion men in the world and almost every single man will have a different preference. while some men do prefer the type that you have described, other men won’t even consider those things in a partner.
do not be discouraged. i think that you get this idea that there is an “ideal woman” which all men desire because of what you’ve seen on social media. as I said, some men do find those features attractive but that is not the be all end all for what makes a man want to be in a relationship with you.
my advice: stop trying to conform to the standards that you’ve set for yourself and are desperately achieve. forget the look of to what you perceive to be the perfect woman, and focus on yourself. enhance your own natural beauty, and focus from the inside out.
I can tell from your post that this is getting to you a bit and in turn it is eating you up from the inside. first, fix your mindset. you feel like shit because you think of yourself like shit. stop. let go of this impossible to achieve version of a woman and just let yourself be you. understand that you were made as you are and you cannot change that. you need to build your confidence from the inside out. help yourself mentally first. stop thinking about men.
to resolve any issues you have with your body here’s some advice: exercise - I don’t mean this in a way to say that just because you are saying you don’t fit these standards you look bad, I mean that exercise can help you to achieve a body which you feel more comfortable and confident in. you can build muscle and shape with training and focused workouts, stick to it and you will see changes. this will help you to build confidence and you can focus on whatever areas you like.
eat well. tying into the exercise, you can gain muscle and shape by eating well. i don’t mean eat excessive amounts, i mean eat foods which can help your body to change healthily. secret tip: chickpeas help the boobs grow, if you are really concerned about that.
some cosmetic advice - you are made the way you are and you can always always enhance your natural beauty. try doing something for yourself like getting a haircut, getting your eyelashes/brows done, getting nails done. do something that will make YOU more confident in yourself, and not just because you think you’ll be more attractive to men.
beauty is most prominent when it comes from the inside. someone who has confidence in themselves and holds good values is a lot more attractive than someone who fits the conventional beauty standards on the outside but has a nasty personality. as I couldn’t fit in my original comment; don’t be so hard on yourself and focus on what makes you, you. allow yourself to be beautiful the inside out and I promise that you will attract people who see that beauty from you. beauty and attraction are not surface level. work on yourself first and you will attract the right people.
Perfect body and face would make me suspicious at best and hostile at worst. Perfection is always a lie. As long as the woman is looking basically healthy, all I care about is her character. Sure, it is based on rational thinking rather than on animalistic instincts, and I've learned to keep this attitude through a very harsh crash course, but that's how it is. If You're asking whether a man's instincts can go crazy about an average-looking girl, then the answer is no, and it's not any single man's fault, since it's ingrained in our biology. However, as intelligent beings, we are perfectly capable of valuing (and even desiring) an average-looking girl with a heart of gold. So yes, I could value a woman without the perfect body and face. I'm not sure about love, though. I've never experienced romantic love in my life, so at this point it's totally possible I ended up a lifeless, affectionless husk.
So... Yeah... As long as You're not body-excessive, just be Yourself. If You are, make an effort to become basically healthy. Living a life of lie is never a good idea, and nowhere is this more obvious than in intimate relationships. Most women are pretty, and I'd argue that all women are born pretty, it's just what they do with their lives that can nullify this.
If you want a reality check for yourself about men. Go to a strip club. You will see women of all levels of beauty making bank. Pretty girls making nothing. Direct evidence that's says men have no general standard for female perfection. It's a lie. Physical perfection is an illusion of the entertainment industry and the beauty industry. My girlfriend is in my opinion so hot I cannot take it sometimes and all she sees is lips that aren't full enough, or boobs that need to be bigger. Let yourself be you, be healthy, be happy in your own skin. Try... it's not easy but it's what is real and best.
Hey, you answered one of my questions and I wanted to peruse the sort of answers you give to people. I needed to see this today, you are so right. We should feel comfortable in our own skin because each of us have a unique quality that’s ours and only ours, and what’s what truly makes us beautiful.
I'm sorry you don't feel perfect, big boobs and wider hips won't make you perfect, there is no such thing as perfect, there are preferences, small boobs are amazing and fun to play with, small hips are fun too, don't think you need need to look a certain way to feel perfect, that's never the case, if you love how you look and exude that confidence men will notice you more and love what they see, when men like is a wide variety and they dislike very little. Be happy, be proud and own what you have.
There is inner beauty as well as skin. For me, the feminine virtues are very attractive and are most important. Extremely physically beautiful women tend not to have them due to the power their beauty gives them.
I and many men like women to be slender and that is well within your control and capability. My point is that there is something you can take action on. A girls waist is critical. A tight waist emphasis the swell of your hips and your breasts jut out more if you have a tight waist. Your whole body becomes more lithe.
We all tend to eat too much but we can learn to be happy with less and to eat less fattening foods. We very much get addicted to sugar and fat. I think our attitude has to change and our body follows. I very much want to have the sensation of a very full stomach after dinner but I lose excess weight if I am content with smaller portions.
In the first place, you CAN make your tits grow!
Secondly, there's been quite a few women I've wanted to be with that were just ordinary looking! It's so nice to see someone that's NOT loaded with make-up and it's just HER and NOT someone trying to be someone else! Also, I think I'd prefer someone that's more my type than someone that's super gorgeous and uber sexy. Those things ARE nice to have in a woman but, if she's either ugly inside or just isn't at all interested in the things I am, there's no real point to it, is there?
Back in `82, there was this girl that started hanging out with my band. I'd never seen her before and everybody said she was ugly, partly because of the bizarre make-up she wore, sometimes. But, she was always very sweet to me and I developed a crush on her!! It didn't matter that she had a terrible voice, smoked clove cigarettes, was a bit overweight and wore strange make-up, I had a thing for her! Sadly, she had a thing for her boyfriend!!
Just don't be fat and you'll still be able to get attractive guys. That literally all you have to do.
But really, the only thing you're telling me here is that you're in fear of having to be in a relationship with an unattractive guy. If I'm wrong, this wouldn't even be a post, because you'd be in a happy relationship with a 2/10 attractiveness guy that treats you like a queen. But we both know you're physically repulsed by those guys, so you're trying to figure out if you have a chance with the type of guys you find sexually attractive. Which is kind of hypocritical, don't you think?
*Don’t be fat and be white
@Babygirl_S race has nothing to do with this. A fit girl of any race has unlimited guys chasing after her
One can work on themselves, but never worry about needing to have wide hips or big breasts, men like petite women and small breasts too. The big breasts and big hips thing is mainly an asthetic thing derived from porn, but in reality, not many men actually care about that. Men honestly want a woman who will appreciate them and what they do, no matter how small. Men want a woman who doesn't play mind games and will conversate what they want, so we can understand. We want women who understands boundaries and willing to join us in our hobbies rather than ridicule us for enjoying them.
A perfect woman isn't all physical.
m never really saw it like that all...
perfection does not exist... and it is not men who go with this "myth" about "perfection"
it's mostly bullshit marketing from media and the industries that do it on purpose to target women like that
yes, work on the inner part. there has to be something I like but without the personality traits, I'm not interested.
some are lucky with natural talent and abilities height, etc.
just be a great average and that works for many people.
pretty sad to date people based off of their looks..
what im saying is, you shouldn't have to care too much about what you look like and if you are someones “type”. If there's a guy who wants ti date you just bc you are his type, I don't know if he's going to be the best guy🤷♂️ i really find it sad how a ton of people still dont understand that its personality>looks
There is no perfect body. Its a perception. What one man finds perfect, another will find things that he doesn't like. Same for the mind. Just wait for a good match or even ask yourself what properties your "perfect" man should have (not your dream man, but a realistic one)
There can be perfect in my pale daydreams 🥲♀️👀😛
While I am not into ugly girls, boobs size is not big deal, and I tend to care about virginity.
You sound like you might be an incel
😂😂😂
It's usually the hot ones that have a lot of problems. I want her body, but not her. Why? Among us guys there's a saying - never stick your dick in crazy.
No one corrects her behavior because men want to fuck her, not fix her. So she remains broken and her low self-esteem won't let her mature. Rinse and repeat until she hits the wall.
Different men have different ideas of the perfect body. I have had several men pursue me for sex or relationships in person. I’m one of those types you’re talking about, very pretty, big breasts, good body. Let me tell you, most of my guy friends aren’t the least bit attracted to that type, or to me. Only about maybe 3 of my guy friends have ever fancied me. Why? Because they’re not attracted to big, busty, plus size types. They love petite Asian girls. The innocent types.
If crime documentaries have taught society something is certain men will fuck/fall in love with cars, animals, and children. Some would gladly fuck a mcchicken and return. Stop trying to mold yourself to something you’re not and change your perspective that you need a man’s validation to be worth something. Better yourself for you… someone will love you when you love yourself unapologetically.
And what about the women who "love the perfect man"
I was talking to two of my workmates. They said that of the two kelce's they though, jason was the hotter one. I was like, really? They were like, yeah. And i was like, why? They just said, he just looks really good
I'm just surprised cause travis is with taylor and isn't she supposed to be the IT girl?
Don't let the disrespectful opinions on here bring you down. They all talk out of their ass, and notice how they almost always anonymous.
As long as you don't have an odd body type genetically, most women can at least have an attractive body by eating right and working out. Are you doing that?
You betcha.
A great personality is way more important than looks.
Beauty fades and if you are not a nice person what do you have left?
Pretty much nothing.
I think 👀 in these times, that's a really refreshing thing to see posted and asked here that from a woman about other women - :)
So thank you. ♀️🥲
It also warms my insides that women do have negative views towards other women ♀️👀 competition - aka it's not all "men hating by women" 😛😛😛
True beauty comes from the inside. Any guy worth a lady's time will know that, irrespective of how beautiful, or not, society at large sees her.
Probably not the men you want. You better have a glowing personality if you want a 8 or 9 and you're a 5. Even then it's still going to be an uphill battle.
There's plenty of guys out there otherwise that'd be just fine with a 5.
its not about an attractive man its about knowing that a man is just fine with you hell never be impressed or love you as much a s he could a woman with a perfect body hell sleep with you and know another woman body could be more pleasurable you'll never be enough that's the hard part
He will if you choose the right guy. If your not attracted to those guys of course you're going to fell. It always has some basis in attraction. This goes for BOTH genders.
why would you want to be with a guy who only sees you for the size of your hips or the size of your boobs? at the end of the day, trust me, you don't want a guy like that.
Any girl is perfect to the guy that loves them,,, compliance with the standards that SATAN has imposed on this world are impossible to achieve naturally,,,
I think most white men want a flat girl anyway so it’s not really a problem for you. If you’re a pale Nordic blonde, then you’re every white man’s dream.
@ManOnFire You’re extremely jealous that I want white men. Get over it! I will always prefer them followed by fair-skinned light-eyed North Indian guys. Now the Indian guys loooove my body. Get over it!
@ManOnFire Also you can’t claim that they don’t want me. I have been wanted by hundreds of them. You haven’t lived my life so don’t assume
@ManOnFire I’m not scorning anyone and I’m not interested in you either. You clearly are that’s why you care about my opinion and are replying to my every opinion like a creepy stalker.
Definitely, while looks do matter to an extent, I am far more attracted to 'imperfections' , and perosnality is way ay more important to make me fall in love
Her face matters the most, and I don't care for too large of breasts.
Every man's ideal is different. You are no doubt someone's ideal.
Who told you that?
No, body is very important to men, they pay little attention to character
Fedine perfect cause last time I recall, there's no such thing as perfection
Looks are important but I rather have a girl with a 10 personality and lower on looks than a girl that looks like a 10 and has a 1 for personality.
No human is perfect and there are guys like me that don't find big boobs and blond hair attractive.
Big boobs and brunette hair 🤎🟤 right? 👀♀️ It's okay man, you just weren't specific when you said "well I don't like blond" lol 😆😆 wink wink
Of course. No one is perfect.
I hear you. There's really no greater force of nature than a preternaturally HOT woman. Especially one with an INSANE body.
Pinch your nipples think balloons gelid blow inside turn them clockwise to air them up
There is no such thing as "perfect."
I already do and is why I am married.
I am also ten years younger.
I just have a small preference that she be fair or whiter than me and just a beautiful face. ni don't mind if she is fat :).
You are mistaking the ideal woman for the ideal sex toy.
It's called taste. Not everyone has the same taste. It works for us the same way it works for you. We like what we individually find attractive.
Body has nothing on personality.
And from that day forward, it all changed, when he saw "big boobs or a big shapely buttocks" as a woman strode by - "damn 🔐🔒 yo" 👀👀👀😋🥲
have you tried hitting the gym?
Men love a good liars
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