Are my reasons for giving up on dating valid?

[Anonymous]

I am 28. I am a mechanic, 60k a year but long hours. I’ve always been single. I’ve tried dating apps and meeting girls in person but I’m never successful. I tried tinder and in a couple days I got no likes whereas I’ve a friend who got 30 likes in a day.
I am not bad looking, regular joe I think and healthy weight. Although I am 5’9 which places me at further disadvantage.

My experience with dating is that if you wish to find a pretty and nice girl, you need to be really good looking. You gotta be really special and I don’t think that can ever be me.

I feel I deserve better than 0 matches and my pride makes me hate women and give up completely. If I am that disliked then I guess I’m an incel. If I do receive a match it’s typically a girl I find very unattractive ☹️

Do I deserve no women swiping me and being rejected and ignored? I can’t see myself ever having a girlfriend. I have to find something that can entertain me more than any girl can.

Valid reasons

Not valid reasons

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude, I get it's frustrating as hell, but don't go down that incel spiral. There's some valid points mixed in with stuff that's not good to tell yourself.

The truth is dating apps are super surface level - a bad pic or short bio can totally sink you before girls get to know who you really are. And comparisons will just bring you down - focus on your own journey.

As for your looks and height, there are definitely girls out there who won't care about that at all. Your job and being independent shows you've got your shit together too, which is attractive.

Instead of giving up, I'd say focus your energy on the things that truly fulfill you - hobbies, career goals, quality time with friends. Strengthen who you are outside of dating. When you feel genuinely happy and confident in yourself, THAT is what will draw others in.

Keep putting yourself out there respectfully but take it less seriously too - ease up on the "rejection." You've got so much to offer - the right person will see that when the time is right. Chin up, man!

[BarryLiverstone]

That’s valid, quit the dating apps. When my brother was a mechanic he met his wife to be because he worked on her car. You have a job where you face people everyday; so network socially and get dates irl

[Asker]

I don’t think I can get dates girls don’t want average they want the movie star

[BarryLiverstone]

Keep that mindset and yes you will get no dates. Change how you think and actually try to ask people out and you will date more. Your choice

[Asker]

I am 28 and the results are there. How is it this hard to find a girl? Cause women don’t want a hard working mechanic they want some top handsome business man

[BarryLiverstone]

In the past 3 months how many girls have you asked out irl? At work or outside of work how many

[BarryLiverstone]

by the way it should be hard to find someone. If it was easy then you would worry too much about keeping her

[Asker]

This year in person I approached and tried to chat up maybe 7 or 8 girls I’ve done more last year. But I think I’ve had enough. Men are just treated like shit. I’ve been rejected in rude ways aswell while being respectful to people. And the dating apps with quality photos nothing it’s a tough pill to swallow but I don’t see a way out

[BarryLiverstone]

There you go. I bet this year that you have been grocery shopping more than 7 times and have been making an effort to go out and do other things. All I’m saying is you gotta keep trying if you actually want to date. Now if you want to give up and be single that’s your choice. Just don’t be on the apps and spend free time doing other things

[BarryLiverstone]

by the way expect to be rejected. It’s like when you want a new job you expect to be rejected many times until you succeed at the interview. It’s about the effort

[Asker]

I get if 60% reject but 100% fuck that. Girls chase something unreal

[BarryLiverstone]

Girls don’t chase. It’s the guys who chase.

[BarryLiverstone]

Ty bro for the engagement here and I hope you still make an effort and keep asking girls out.

My best advice is to be an active member of a community outside of work. That could be a church or a club or something local like a baseball league. Being active in that community allows you to make networking connections, allows you to give back to your community, and gives your life purpose. That’s where you will find “her”. Not on tinder

Peace

[Nikki1989]

You are obviously too immature for dating. Re-read what you posted again.

[OlderAndWiser]

Have you ever asked a female friend or relative to read your profile and give you some feedback on their impressions?

[Asker]

Yes I did and make changes

[OlderAndWiser]

The things that guys think make them attractive to women usually don’t work. You need to be able to see yourself from a female perspective.

[ProbablyClueless]

Quitting the apps makes sense; I did that and I'm a lawyer and entrepreneur. Don't give up on dating entirely though.

Lots of women will love the fact you're a mechanic.

[chilldude33]

If you were a girl, would you date yourself?

[In_Trance]

Whatever works for you