Have you ever lost that one person that was only your friend?

[Anonymous]

Have you ever had a solid friendship with the opposite sex, that the sexual chemistry was off the charts? You guys would flirt a lot but never took it to the next level? Then one day they just erase you from their life?
Do you ever think about them or miss them?

[ohsheeT]

Yes I have we met we talked only online and each day you can feel it a beautiful intense the more we talk the more we became one and the more we shared with each other and I mean it would get downright hot

I'm an empath and so weird how when we would start chatting I would tell her you're touching yourself aren't you and she would always say how do you know that and I would say because I can feel it and I have to say just be honest with me and she would say yes I am he said because your words and the way you say it and you make me so turned on and that would get me turned on and I would start telling her a story about her and I

And we were many many miles away from each other but I mean I could feel her as if we were right there together

And each and every day would just get more intense and that becoming one just became more and more beautiful

And just about every day I was online with her and the only way I could do that was because my mom had moved in and I started taking care of her because she had the Alzheimer's dementia and it was getting worse and worse but I also had to work and pay my bills

But I could only do jobs that would take me a day
Or less so there was some days where first thing in the morning I was gone
Because I didn't have anybody to watch my mom and I needed to make money because I was getting more and more behind on my bills and there was times where I couldn't even pay my phone bill and I would disappear for like 2 or 3 days until I had enough money put on to my phone instead of paying my power or whatever but I think she thought that I was lying to her
Is what it sounded like but
That wasn't the case our time differences were big well not that big is only 3 hours but I guess it didn't matter what I said to her because she I think she would think something else I'm not really positive I think what it really was is that she was really starting to fall in love and was scared of that but I'm not even positive on that but anyway yeah that has happened to me too

[Purpleronnie]

I have had that yes , but with the one difference that we knew we couldn’t have anything more because we were both in committed relationships.
We worked together and instantly had chemistry. No word of a lie , it was literally from the first day we set eyes on each other. We eventually spent lunches together mostly in secret from the rest of the office , on work events we spent the whole time in each others company although generally not alone. I will never forget the day we finally confessed how we felt to one another , we both cried from the relief of the tension and then from the sobering realization that with everything laid bare we were now in some sort of beautiful agony pergatory state of wanting to be with each other both physically and emotionally without the freedom to do anything , We immediately tried to distance ourselves in the office which made the tension almost palpable, comments were made by others which actually escalated to interviews with our respective managers. This added further tension with a twist that we had to now “ sort it out “ for work purposes as encouraged by our managers. We continued working together with this pretence of stale professionalism which then promoted this feeling of forbidden and took our suffering to different levels by enticing us to distract each other non-verbally. Both us of knowingly using our chemistry for mental torment against the other. The end came sharply after that , with quite a public argument after a work event with the resolve that we were at the end of the road.


I left the company very quickly after this and after a brief text exchange we agreed to delete each others details and never contact each other again and to this day it’s never happened.


So in many ways I think I understand your pain , and in answer to your question, there is no formula to move past it. For me , like grief, only time made a difference together with owning and communicating my mistakes and re-investing in my relationship.

[Purpleronnie]

Thanks for the MHO, I hope that my story is useful in helping you to move forward in some meaningful way. Take care

[Spuen]

Have you ever had a solid friendship with the opposite sex, that the sexual chemistry was off the charts? You guys would flirt a lot but never took it to the next level? Then one day they just erase you from their life?
Do you ever think about them or miss them?


I have. A couple years ago. Only we finally DID took it to the next level. And the he started disappearing and also not (we didn't talk every day, he didn't seem interested in answering my texts but he also invited me over after two or three months...).
It was hard because, as you say, we had a solid friendship, like we understood each other very well, we would spend hours talkin... Like we really connected.


Do i miss him? I spent waaaay to much time missing him. Until one day i think i just was sooo tired of missing something i would never get back that it stoped.


And its not like he died or went to live to another city. He just didn't seem interested. So i realized that "missing" is a feeling that only the people who really want to be with you deserve, and that i deserve friends that really miss me, too.


With time, you will get over it and move on with your life, but its really important that you work on yourself and on building a life of your own (like that person has left a hole and you have to fill it, with activities you enjoy or people you can rely on, whatever, but DO SOMETHING with that hole).

[Asker]

Thank you ❤️

[HollyK21]

One thing women like yourself have to start understanding is that most straight men will not actively work to build a plain old platonic friendship with a woman.


Sure he may become friends with a woman he works with, goes to school with, etc, but it’s because that doesn’t take work, it’s naturally building on its own. Like he’s seeing and engaging with that woman regularly so it makes sense to surpass simple cordiality.


It’s a whole different ballgame when he meets a woman and chooses to befriend her on his own accord. Like I already know a guy doesn’t have simple friendship in mind if we’re texting every day, sexting, hanging out, flirting, none of that is what I believe takes place in a casual friendship like I’d have with another woman.



All this to say, he wasn’t just your platonically close friend, hell he was hardly even a friend. You two crossed lines and he was the one you’d always go to with your problems or to vent, which to me sounds like a boyfriend or situationship considering all that took place. He didn’t want to engage that anymore.

[Asker]

I ended it. Because I did catch feelings. So yeah ik what u mean

[HollyK21]

Then honestly honey this isn’t a loss, it’s saving your mental health and sparing your future self unnecessary pain and suffering. I’m sure you know that.

[Asker]

Yeah, thank you 😊

[Joshgag2000]

@HollyK21 the girls that I interact with in my class I have no feelings for them. We don’t flirt with each other we just talk normally about anything but never did once cross my mind of dating any of them. I am pretty sure it’s the same thing for them. Men and women could be friends with no romantic feelings

[HollyK21]

@joshgag2000 that is why I specifically included this context:

“Sure he may become friends with a woman he works with, goes to school with, etc, but it’s because that doesn’t take work, it’s naturally building on its own. Like he’s seeing and engaging with that woman regularly so it makes sense to surpass simple cordiality.”

Mainly because I do understand that men can form these friendships with women at school or work, but those connections don’t take much effort, it’s happening naturally. With those classmates, are you putting in work to text them everyday or build a connection outside of schoolwork and general casualty? Are you flirting or sexting with them? No, you remain within the bounds of cordiality and being purely platonic.

[Joshgag2000]

@HollyK21 I have no interest of texting them or seeing them outside of school.

[HollyK21]

@joshgag2000 see, you don’t have the desire to do any of that, which means your connections with those women remain very platonic, which is totally fine. I have men at my job that I’m cool with as well, straight men who vary from moderately attractive to very good looking. But I don’t have the desire to deal with them outside of work and build a deeper connection, and that’s mainly because I’m in a relationship. I think opposite sex friendship can really only exist within certain confines.

[Finchie40]

Yes , our lives just didn’t line up and we both went our separate ways.

[Anonymous]

I've got a friendship like that, but our sexual chemistry isn't there. I'm constantly having to tell her no on sexual acts, unless she catches me in a rare mood when we're drinking. She would like more, but I do not. We've been friends for a few years and I wouldn't know what to do without her, seeing as I've let my other friendships fizzle out. It hasn't always been good times, either, and the few times I've tried to leave never go well. Currently we're good but it seems to be a cycle of good times and then arguments. We're so up each others' ass I think it would be difficult for either of us to actually find a romantic partner, which is one thing I've been feeling melancholic about. But the feeling of emptiness during the times we fight and stop talking is tough. How long does that take to get over?

[Asker]

Your situation sounds like my life.
I'm sorry, I know how confusing it is. Can't live with them or without them because there is a bond.
I'm trying to start over and break whatever hold it has on me. I know I will miss him terribly, but it is toxic at the same time. The hardest thing is to let someone go you care a lot about.
I don't know how long that emptiness or hollow feeling in the chest lasts, but I hope it isn't long.

Good luck to you!

[Opinion Owner]

You too, whenever you feel you're able to handle it I hope it's not too hard.
I used to wonder why people stay in toxic relationships but now I see the line isn't so black and white. And I'm not even "in a relationship" and it's still hard to completely leave because "it's not always shitty." Sometimes two people can just be wrong for each other in a large enough way without either one being truly evil.

So good luck to you as well. Hope your day goes well.

[PeachyPie93]

No never experienced that in rl.. I have had many "friends" online but if I start feeling something for them, I delete. No point falling in love on fantasy, and lust for a guy who will never actually love you, he just has some desire to sleep with you. Sure I think about them sometimes especially the few I actually really liked but I know I was the only one who felt anything, so I don't worry too much about it.

[UnusualWeirdo]

I erased her, she began dating my step brother, and I suddenly hated her, my step brother was a little bitch growing up and she began listening to him about me when he didn't know me at all, all he did was copy everything I did.

[WhitneySnow]

No. Thats never happened to me. But that sounds awful. Do you know why they erased you from their life?

[Asker]

I actually erased him. I felt like the flirting was becoming very sexual and I knew he had a girlfriend, and the friendship sorta shifted. So, I thought it was best for me to just block.
I'm not a fan of being played when it comes to my heart.
But I do miss the actual friendship prior to all the sexual conversations. But unfortunately, it couldn't go back to normal.
It's hard letting go of someone you actually care about still.
I was just wondering if that person would even miss me as much as I miss them.

[WhitneySnow]

If he really liked you, he probably misses you. If he just wanted to have sex with you, he probably doesn’t.

[FunkyMonkee]

Yes, several times. The hardest to lose was my best friend and surrogate little sister, Kelly. I took that one REAL hard!!

[kaucky1]

We were real close but too many interruptions too much lies

[Hotboy_booblover]

Yes... I have. I still miss her.. almost everyday. it was like an addiction

[Asker]

A very powerful addiction. I felt those words.

[Anonymous]

Sort of. Except it was in reverse. I erased her from my life.

[Rohaan2020]

Yes… and i still miss that frndship

[Asker]

Mind if I ask how long it has been for you?

[Rohaan2020]

11years

[Asker]

Sigh. Once you're connected, you're connected.
Do you guys talk at all anymore? Or is it just final

[incorrected]

A guy leaving your friendzone?

[Asker]

Not sure you read the question correctly?

[incorrected]

I'm not sure you understand guys...

[Asker]

I'm pretty sure that's why I asked the. You know for a better understanding

[Asker]

Question *

[incorrected]

It sounds like a guy who didn't make an overt move and since it didn't escalate naturally he moved on. Without more information it's impossible to know for sure, but it sounds like a guy who thinks he's in the flirty area of the friendzone and moved on. Dunno though.

[LiamJHayden]

No, because I have many friends.

[ihateTaylorSwift]

yes, in Highschool...

[paledreams]

I luckily have a small circle , ⭕

[MasterKS]

sounds like you miss the big chance?

[Asker]

I'm not sure I understand what you mean?

[Amur8711]

I had this I think with three individuals.

[Jmmmfi4]

FUCK NO. I DON'T DO PLATONIC BULLSHIT.

[Anonymous]

I've lost lots of friends :(

[Jackson2005]

Sure have!

[Jackson2005]

Twice actually

[Asker]

Did you get over it? Or do you still miss them?

[Jackson2005]

I just got over it. When one door closes another opens 🤷‍♂️

[Asker]

Fair enough, thank you