- 7 d
Because I'm trying to look my best for the date and sometimes what I'm feeling isn't working out right in the moment so it's back to the drawing board. Even if in my head it seems right sometimes I get a different image when I actually see it.
I can't just throw on a t shirt and cargo shorts or pants like a guy can and say "well if they don't like it, fuck it"
It's just not how it works. I would never cause anyone to be late but also I'm gonna take my time and make sure everything is great when I leave.10 Reply
Most Helpful Opinions
- 6 d
Taking a long time is not indecisive, that's pretty decisive, they're doing it. As for why they take a long time, it's because it actually takes a long time to doll themselves up, it's not effortless. They're often also nervous and insecure, and they understand that the most important thing for first impressions is appearance. If you look good, you get treated better (also true for men, by the way) and judged better overall. If they're running late on you frequently, and those dates aren't going further, it's just disrespect and free meals.
00 Reply
- 6 d
Like every other species of animal male and female humans have different behaviors based on their natural design. Men are naturally attracted primarily by visual attraction to women whereas women are attracted primarily by a man's ability to provide and protect. Millions of years of nature and evolution programmed them that way so it's not surprising that females spend more effort on behaviors relating to their looks and males spend more time on behaviors relating to their ability to provide and protect.
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- 7 d
Sometimes hair and if you wear a lot of makeup it can take ages to look nice.. Also sometimes they have a hard time picking an outfit that they think looks good.
I personally never cared that much about what a guy thinks of me because to be honest I ain't dressing up every day and if you don't think I am cute just with a bit of touch up we shouldn't be dating lol.
01 Reply- 5 d
Most men aren't going to judge all that much on what you dress like, they can tell if you're attractive to them or not. Even just smart casual, especially if it shows off your body a bit (curves), is more than enough. Who you are and how you interact will make up most of the criteria they judge on, unless you're dating guys who have so many options that they can afford to be picky about looks.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
11Opinion
- 7 d
Societal pressure and expectations to look a certain way when in public settings, especially on a first date. It’s something that is drilled into us since we were young.
016 Reply- 6 d
"Society". There's no such thing as society, it's a figment of people's imaginations, the fashion industry and everybody's reasonable intuition that the better they look the better their chances. Looks are valuable and first impressions matter. "Society" doesn't give a damn what anyone does. Always worth bearing that in mind if you feel it's pressuring you.
- 6 d
@incorrected bro, literally. Is the "pressuring society" in the room with us?
- 6 d
@incorrected so you'd be cool if your date showed up in baggy sweatpants and a holy t shirt?
- 6 d
I don't think it's societal pressure I think it's natural pressure. Men are naturally attracted primarily by visual attraction to women whereas women are attracted primarily by a man's ability to provide and protect. It's millions of years of nature and evolution that programmed them that way not society. Like every other species of animal male and female humans have different behaviors based on their natural design.
- 5 d
@Smashingdoozy I'd prefer my date to turn up dressed as she usually dresses, because that's what she's going to look like for most of our lives together if we hit it off. If we're going to some high class ritzy place then dress up, if we're going to a coffee shop or a cheap and cheerful restaurant then regular dress.
- 5 d
@incorrected so it would be inappropriate to wear sweats at a fancy restaurant right?
- 5 d
@Smashingdoozy In that case yes. Smart casual is still fine though. It's not a dichotomy of choosing between hours of prep or the least classy thing you can find though. Smart casual is fine for pretty much any occasion.
- 5 d
@incorrected okay, so would you say that the majority of people at least in the western world would agree with that?
- 5 d
@Smashingdoozy I don't know but I would assume so; the men I've talked to about this stuff don't tend to care about it very much. They're more interested in the woman herself than how she's dressed. There's some interesting data on men and women's dating choices from the dating sites with graphs and what not. The bell curve of men's attraction is much broader than it is for women. I think both genders tend to project their own perceptions onto the other gender and that's why it seems to matter more to women what they look like than it does to men.
- 5 d
@incorrected well not really talking about one persons perspective. Restaurants have no shirt, no shoes, no service rules for a reason correct? Showing up to a formal restaurant in non-formal attire would cause judgement from pretty much everyone in the establishment.
My point is there is this collective expectation of how people should dress and even behave in certain public places. These aren't rules that were set by any one person, it's just what people have decided is appropriate. When a group of people have more or less the same ieas and expectations that is called a ✨ society ✨ - 5 d
@Smashingdoozy A specific restaurant's dress code applies to both genders and isn't "society".
- 5 d
@incorrected but it's not just a specific restaurant. It's the expectations people in general have for others. Most places don't have dress codes it's just assumed you should dress nice. That is societal expectations
- 5 d
@Smashingdoozy Assumed by who and in what places? I never had any problems going to most places in regular clothes. Smart, but casual. I don't know where you've been taken on dates but I doubt I could afford to take you on them if there's legitimately people giving dirty looks to anyone who isn't glitzed up...
- 5 d
@incorrected I think you're missing the mark completely 😂
- 4 d
@Smashingdoozy Maybe, or perhaps we're in different countries and/or in different socio-economic classes where expectations are different. What gives you the impression that most people in most places care all that deeply about this stuff?
- 4 d
@incorrected it's not about caring deeply at all. It's what is considered the norm
22.1K opinions shared on Dating topic. I am not. So speak for your own experience.
00 Reply- 5 d
So here's the thing.. if you are really into a guy there is gonna be a lot of pressure because you want to impress him. Questions like "does this dress make me look too slutty" etc become paramount. First date and first impressions is a make or break moment and we want things to be perfect
05 Reply- 5 d
First impressions from a purely visual perspective don't matter as much to most men as you might think. As long as you're not dressed like you don't care at all, it's going to matter more who you are and how you interact. I can't speak for women or for all men, but that's what I know from talking to other men.
- 4 d
@Asker probably for the majority but there are men who put a lot of emphasis on physicals and visuals
- 4 d
There are. Men who have options (the most attractive, usually) will be choosier, and some men are a bit more shallow. In either case it only really matters if those are the men you're aiming to impress though. In any case, I don't think it's likely to hurt your chances to look your best. Best wishes and good luck finding your person if you haven't already, by the way. :)
- 4 d
@incorrected thanks for the Insight. I think that's it. Also, I haven't found my person and am close to giving up but still like to look my best when am not stressed
- 5 d
I am not... I know what I look the best in and if I want to look that way for him... so it doesn't take much time to decide what to wear and tie my hair :D
10 Reply - 6 d
It's a bit silly. No amount of make up and styling on the day of the date will make up for the fact that she has been eating too much for the last month.
On the other hand, if she has been eating with discipline for a long time, she can show up with no make up and slay.
00 Reply 347 opinions shared on Dating topic. Why would it matter to you? You aren’t there waiting. Unless she is late, this doesn’t impact you.
We want to make sure our first impression is a good one.
17 Reply- 5 d
This! Well observed.
- 5 d
She could have chosen to prepare and manage her time better. It's a sign she doesn't respect you enough to turn up on time. How did the date go?
If judging on no other information, I'd guess you were just a free meal, or that she was testing if you'd let egregious waste of your time slide so she can exploit you in other ways later. She wouldn't turn up that late for a job interview...
1K opinions shared on Dating topic. Because women are indecisive.
Any decision not based on logic and reasoning is unstable because every time the decision is thought about the thought path to the decision changes.
Think of an excel table covered in numbers and formulas. If the table has lots of RAND () numbers, every time you look at an answer the random numbers regenerate and the answers change.10 Reply- 7 d
They want to look good for their date because 1. They want to impress the man showcasing how well put together she is and 2. It is fun to dress up for a nice night on the town since it not only boosts confidence, it boosts morale.
00 Reply - 7 d
It's because we're trying to look pretty & nice for our date. Just like how you men get ready for it, so do we, it just might take us longer than you. But it's worth it once he see's her all dolled up. 👗💄💅
00 Reply - 7 d
You are saying the wrong women. There are some who can get ready in 5. Without makeup… then the boyfriend will check out the one who spent 2 hrs. So… what to do?
04 Reply- 7 d
- 2 d
@midnightmoon05 that KIND of guy likes the make up more than the girl beneath then. Vanity isn't just about the facade, it's also about the perception OF the facade and a guy will easily lose interest when the image doesn't match the substance of the individual. It's like buying a used vehicle, it might have a good paint job but the mechanicals are shot and the interior is worn out then you wish you'd bought the one with that was authentic and cared for or new.
- 1 d
- 7 d
It’s actually a turn off when a guy doesn’t take long to get ready. We can tell by looking at your facial hair, haircut, nails and teeth. It’s an instant turn off for me.
00 Reply - 7 d
Maybe they just want to be presentable and looks pretty when meeting their date for the first time.
Mixed of “first impression lasts” or “men are visual”.00 Reply - 6 d
I'm indecisive on what to wear to the supermarket. Don't take it personally 😂
10 Reply Because unlike men women are judged for their weight, their skin , their body, their smile, hair, EVERYTHING. With so much pressure, when you're getting ready for a first date you ought to overthink 'cause you wanna be in your best form.
00 Reply- 6 d
She wants to make sure she leaves a good first impression.
00 Reply - Anonymous(45 Plus)7 d
It is said that the preparation is part of the event and the process for them.
They are also aware that their presentation is an important part of the date so they put a lot into it00 Reply - 6 d
Women have always wanted to look their best to attract men, so they're much fussier than we men about readying themselves for a first date.
00 Reply - 5 d
She wants to make a spectacular first impression. I'd find it flattering.
00 Reply 322 opinions shared on Dating topic. Its just how women work, even 200 years ago they still took time to get ready
00 Reply- Anonymous(45 Plus)7 d
Women are queens of deception. When a woman gets ready she contemplates what message everything sends.
00 Reply - 6 d
they are not organized enough...
00 Reply - 6 d
they wanna look as pretty as possible
00 Reply - 7 d
They're women. ♀️
10 Reply
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