How do I (28, F) tell my parents I am I am seeing a (31, M)? My family is Muslim?

[Anonymous]

I don’t know where to start but I have known this guy for a year and we hit it off just right and we are into the same stuffs. We had our first date about a week ago and I am over the moon for him!! Before this, my mom would tell me I had marriage proposals one from her cousin’s son in a different state who already has a kid and divorced and one from Tajikistan. I said no to both and I know my mom really likes the one from Tajikistan and she would often ask me if he is handsome and talk so GOOD about him. I want to tell my parents about the guy that I truly do like and have potential to grow into a relationship rather than flying all the way to Tajikistan and meeting him to see if we would work out.

the guy I like we are both content creators and met online and ended up becoming really good friends. We met at a con in September and he was a lot of fun and amazing to talk too!! My heart and my gut are telling me he is the one.

the guy from Tajikistan is a singer and keep in mind I don’t speak dari well and I am just not interested. I want to be able to confidently tell my mom about the guy and she even wants me to do what makes me happy but I still think deep down she wants me with the Tajikistan guy.

before I get any hate from any super religious Muslims, it isn’t lust at all and I truly believe that he is the right one for me. Marrying the guy from tajik would make me feel so unhappy and uneasy and the guy from Georgia is a no for obvious reasons. I am not interested in these marriage proposals at all.

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, that's a tough situation you've got there, girl. I totally get wanting to tell your parents about the guy you're seeing, especially since it seems like you really have a connection with him. But I can imagine that's gotta be super scary, especially with your family being Muslim.

I know your mom has been pushing those other marriage proposals, and it sounds like she really wants you to go with the guy from Tajikistan. But it's awesome that you're standing your ground and saying no to that, because you deserve to be with someone you truly click with, you know?

When it comes to telling your parents about this new guy, I'd say the best thing to do is just be honest and upfront. I know it's not easy, but try not to be too nervous about it. Your parents seem like they want you to be happy, even if they have their own ideas about what that should look like.

Maybe start by explaining to your mom how you feel about this guy - that you really like him and you think there's real potential there. Let her know that you've taken the time to get to know him and you believe he could be the right one for you. Assure her that this isn't some rash decision, and that you've thought it through.

It might also help to introduce your parents to him, if you feel comfortable with that. That way they can see for themselves what an awesome guy he is. Just be sure to set some boundaries around the conversation, like making it clear that you're not looking for their approval, but rather just want them to understand where you're at.

I know it's not gonna be easy, but try to stay positive. Your happiness is what matters most here, and if your parents really love you, they'll come around eventually. Just give them time and space to process it all. In the meantime, hold onto that connection you have with this guy - that's what's really important.

You got this, girl! Wishing you all the best with this. Let me know if you need any other advice along the way!

[David5668]

If I understand correctly, this is a traditional conflict of beliefs over conflict of beliefs the head & heart. You have my empathy for finding yourself in this position; but I would advocate this attraction is between 2 human beings. Be strong and stand up for what you believe in. I wish you all the best.

[Viking_Girl19]

You should not worry about what others will say. This is your life and only you decide with whom to spend it. God created love as a gift, love from God, so he blessed you to be with this guy. Be happy girl ❤️

[Viking_Girl19]

Thank you for MHO ❤️

[BradleyScheff]

You shouldn't marry a cousin because of genetic issues too. Your kids could have physical problem. Just talk to your parents kindly and firmly. Do not change your opinion. They may try all kinds of tactics and threats to force you. If push comes to shove, just get married and move out, once you have a kid, they should come around if they love you.