We are still processing this information fr… We just found out yesterday. I went with her to the doctors office, and thought she was acting when she told me what the doc said. She plays too much, but this time it is for real. 😭
I think she should tell her boyfriend first, and then together, they should go tell her dad. Her dad is chill, which is why it is better for them to tell him first… Is that a good plan? It is the only thing we can come up with. 😭
I told her we will still support her, but damn. I am still trying to wrap my head around it. 🥲
Updates
+1 y
Y’all, this means she has to put college on hold a bit…;-;
That's the exact plan we used when we told our parents that my wife ( who was my girlfriend at the time) was pregnant. I was with her at every dr appointment. We found out together.
Well, mine was a particularly difficult one, as my uncle had been raping me, beginning on my 13th birthday! Every day I wanted to tell my mom, but I was just hoping he would stop, and I could just “go on” with my life… he did not! When I realized that I had missed my second period, a wave of courage overcame me, and I just told my mom that uncle tony was raping me, and I'm pregnant! She wasted no time, and called 911. Given that SHE ran the emergency department they had to be very careful to make sure my mom had no access to my case or the evidence. For that case she was not the boss, she was just a worried mother! I found everyone to be incredibly kind and caring, and understanding, where I thought everyone would just be mad at me! (I guess its natural to feel that way especially at 13.). I wish your friend the best of luck in whatever she decides to do. Im so sorry she is going through this difficult time.
Thank you so much. I truly appreciate it. It has been 6 years now, and I’ve received the very best mental health care I could ever have hoped for… I credit them entirely for getting me to a place where I can not only talk about this, but help others going through it. Again, thank you very much. ❤️🩹
Hummmm. Not sure how I would proceed. I don't know the boyfriend. What you outlined sounds pretty solid. Something this important for sure needs to be told to the parents. All involved (including the boyfriend) I would weigh who is the most stable and supportive and talk to them first. The most explosive person last. I imagine the boyfriend is young. He might be overwhelmed and possibly explosive. Not knowing how to handle such a responsibility. Hopefully he would view it as a marvelous gift and not a nightmare.
Things like this happen a lot. Unplanned parenthood. That baby is only needing people who can care and love him/her. Not the drama about how he/her came to be.
Do you think he will be calm? He exploding and her being alone is what I am afaid of. It would be good to approach him first if possible. These 2 are responsible together. Everyone else is support. This gives him the chance to be the good boyfriend. If he finds out last then that can really hurt him. If he is last don't tell him he is last at least. Let his response be from the heart. Not on this subject but I was approached last about something I did and I felt like it was a linching party. It was most unfair and humiliating. I am just trying to put myself in everyone else's shoes. I think the parents will ask if he know and what he plans.
WOW then that is clearly the first step. Lets treat him like a man. A man of his word. And make him first contact. What I would do. Then let them BOTH go to the parents. Loads more honor in that. I think you are a really good friend to want to do this right. I wish you all the joy in this moment and a happy healthy baby for them.
Yea, it's a good starting point. See how the boyfriend takes it first. That will make a big difference on your next step. When the time comes, just say it. It won't do any good beating around the bush.
"She plays too much, but this time it is for real."
That's how it happens unless it's planned. Maybe there are false alarms because she is late. Then suddenly it's the real thing. That line has been crossed and there is no going back. No second thoughts. No wishing you had been more careful. It's real now.
First, she has to weigh all her options. How would she feel about getting an abortion? How would she feel about putting the baby up for adoption? How would she feel being called "mom"? Once she has decided what 2 options are best for her, she should tell the person who got her pregnant & see what options are best for him. See where his head is at. Once she's decided, & he's put his two cents in, then tell the parents, unless an abortion was the consensus, then make the appointment asap & move on.
Yes, I am pro- choice. No one should be forced to carry to term if they don't want to. And before anyone brings the religious argument in, I suggest reading the few Bible verses I bring as evidence that abortion is FUCKING OKAY!
Proof that the "religious" argument is a load of bullshit
u r just telling the dad that her boyfriend busted a nut in his daughter and she pregnant now... its easy u can do it... just make sure the boyfriend doesn't go to by milk when he hear about this or follow him to the store just to be sure..
well she can do online classes or part time college instead of full time college so she at least doesn't fall to far behind in her studies. but ya letting her partner know would be wise just hope he doesn't freak out and claim it's not his or tries to bail on her. just hope they wanted children together or someone might talk her into getting an abortion if its early on.
She should have spoke to boyfriend before speaking to you. He has to know ASAP. Then they need to decide if they will tell people now or wait for the 13 weeks. High risks in first trimester, so they could keep it to themselves. If they gunna tell people, just tell them. Gunna be tougher tests in life when baby arrives. Get over any nerves, do the mature etching and just get on with telling them
Yes shud tell her boyfriend first.. congratulations we did it! Is her dad gon be chill too when he found out his daughter pregnant tho? Hopefully Just tell it to herr parents tho, soon or later they will find out
I also waited 10 weeks to tell my parents. Just gave it time for it to sit in with me and my boyfriend (now husband) so we could figure out our plan. Telling them right away would have been too stressful
It was not planned. 😅 She doesn’t know what to do, tbh. She just found out yesterday. Whatever she decides, her boyfriend has to agree as well. It is also his baby.
It is probably smart to talk with her boyfriend first, decide a course of action. You can bring it as a.. "Mom, I have exciting news!" vs "Mom.. can we sit down and talk for a moment?"
Well the truth will come out at some point. It just depends on how you want them to find out? For me, even though the truth may be hard to tell. It is always best to say.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
It is best go straight to the parents that sit down and tell them that they're going to be grandparents. They may be upset a little bit, but they will accept it. Your friend and her boyfriend. Her parents should be supportive.
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