I mean the first date is the big one, right? But what kind of tips, warnings and advice did you receive, if any? Was it important to your parents that you dressed a certain way, like maybe more conservatively?
How about tips your mother may have given you on what amount of make-up you should use and how your hair should be done, etc? Did your mother even help you get ready?
Were you told not to let the boy kiss you on the first date, so not to make-out with him at all? Maybe she said kissing will cause your make-up to smear and look ugly?
Was your dad active in rendering advice, telling you that he knows what boys were all about at their age and what you might expect to happen and challenges you might be facing?
Was yours, the type of mother, or father, that gave you all the intelligent reasoning as to why you should not get pregnant at too young of an age and maybe not to even let the boy put his hands on you, or were they more nonchalant about giving you any advice at all in that regard, maybe not worried about it, thinking you were old enough to take care of yourself by the time you had your first date?
Please tell us what your experiences were and if you were all alone with no one to gain advice, comfort and confidence from, or were your parents, and maybe even older siblings, there to make that nervous first time more pleasurable for you.
Share with us... PLEASE?
A. YES! One, or both, of my parents were a big part of helping me prepare for my first formal date with a guy!
B. My parents didn't really get involved but one, or more, sisters helped clue me in on what to expect and give me tips on how to get ready
C. I totally had to rely on one, or more, girlfriend to help me know what to expect and give me some aid and/or advice
D. No one was really there to help me prepare for my first date.
E. OTHER, see my comments below, or just open the "First Date" survey
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Please select your age
Girls, Did your parents ever give you any advice before your first date with a guy?
Post Opinion
29 Opinion
Like
Share
Follow
1 likes
laurieluvsit wants to hear from Girls only. Login to share your opinion.
Me: I've asked Jason to Homecoming. My parents: Uh... behave yourselves. Do you need money for dinner? *Dad writes out directions from Jason's house to the restaurant*
And then they invited him for lunch on Sunday.
Fast forward approximately 5 years of me never talking to them about my relationship and we informed them we thought we might like to get married.
And... now we're married.
Not a lot of advice was given. They didn't even know how serious we were until the marriage conversation.
My 1st ever date was with the son of my parents' close friends & neighbors. They both liked him to begin with. I believe these were they're exact words: "Where are you two going?" "Do you need a ride or will you take the car?" "Ask your mother for money as all I have are large bills." "Must we still tell you both to behave?" "Have fun!" "Behave!" "Maybe your brothers should go along with you." "Be home by ten!"
I was raised very very old fashioned. I wasn't allowed to date until I was 18. I respected my parents so o followed by their rules. My dad warned me a lot growing up that if I ever got pregnant in my teens he would disown me. However my mom was more kind and she said she would disown me. My dad was super suspicious of me in my teens. If I came home later than my curfew he would fight with me assuming I had sex with a bunch of dudes and he's call me a whore. I had a very low self esteem from him and I was depressed. I hated my life but I still respected my father. I did have crushes but never acted on them. When I turned 18 my dad was still trying to keep me from dating and said I couldn't date till I was 21 and I put my foot down and told him, "No. I'm going to date." I never got my first boyfriend until I was 22. I only told my mom and I didn't tell my dad or brothers until I was dating the guy for a month. When I was going on the first date, my mom did a background check on him lol to make sure he wasn't a weirdo. My mom told me not to go in the car with him. To let her known how it is going and if I like him. She told me it's not good to hold hands or be all touchy feely on the first date and to avoid that. We saw a movie and I ended up getting my first kiss on the first date. It happened spontaneously and surprised me but definitely not a girl who kisses on the first date. I was raised to wait for marriage so I am a huge prude and I like to take my time with everything, holding hands, kissing. If I am not comfortable with it then I like to take it slow. My first relationship was toxic though. But when I first started dating my first boyfriend, after a month I told my brothers and father about him. They got involved and tried to get me to dump him before the relationship turned toxic. They would fill my head with all kinds of things like I was settling for him. But I just wanted a boyfriend so i ignored them. But three months in I realized this isn't a normal relationship. I was unhappy and I left. But overall that has been my experience. I have been on dates since then but haven't found a second boyfriend.
My parents told me specifically my mom who’s a doctor ;
Please don’t come home from college with a baby in your hands. We will be very upset though we will take care our opinion of you will hit the lowest low. Fortunately I honored them not for their respect for me but because I was thrilled with just being carefree and peaceful, studying and going out.
Unfortunately when social pressure mounted to get married came upon my parents from relatives , they were of high anxiety to keep up appearances. That was transferred upon me during Major exams. I emerged but ultimately when not busy I complied to their marital advice.
That arranged marriage meant accountability between families In the success of marriages of this nature. It’s only merit but withheld its subjectivity. How do you ensure that the parents of your would be husband like you or are not threatened to lose their son to you? Most parents of boys unless self critical upon themselves, are immature and assume a girl will forever steal a man from them That happens if a few traumatic challenges are thrown on her beyond her capacity to absorb. She will then seek to separate.
I didn’t do that And when I required correct advice on self conduct in an Indian Arranged marriage I did not get any advice. Nor feedback. Apparently I was told my now ex in laws carried bickering tales about me to my parents. This is done for dowry purposes to subjugate and domineer a girls family as emotional blackmail weaponry.
Well I don’t think I will remarry because men always have the need to buy women and expect Chastity as the only sign a woman is worthy of love or respect. Nor do I need a man for anything apart from physical intimacy that’s all. The rest I am more than able to double compensate for everything. After this big saga I’m told shit happens after the false promises of relationships being fail proof? Call me stupid but I spent 80% of my life studying Dentistry
at least of age , and its licensure exams. I did not date and even now I don’t date. I don’t know what can of worms it might open or throw a wrench In my vastly peaceful luxurious existence.
Do listen don’t agree is my best advice. Look after your personal best interest first . You do not need to please anyone but your self, and if you do so smartly, then cheers to you.
You have written so well a short, open and honest story of life, hope, destiny and tragedy.
Although you have maybe attempted to mask it, your pain emanates from your story and I feel it. Your lack of trust, your wall of emotional protection that you have been forced to surround yourself with, It all speaks of some of the tragedy you have endured.
No intelligent person could ever equate your brilliance with stupidity in my book Ms SMG... ever!
You are most fascinating and eloquent in your demeanor and approach to life and solving it's many complex issues and problems. Please don't let bitterness for the past rob you of your future.
You must guard your trust but regain it to live the life you truly deserve. You can do that, I know you can :)
My Dearest you have made my day and if ever I love reading this so much. I wish I could hug you. I’ve had the fortune of amazing girlfriends who were rocks in everything and for the support. You warmed my heart incredibly love you 😍 .
I love your posts. I can aptly say I follow them all.
And you are so receptive of respectable advice while many are not.
You are so sweet, thank you for liking my posts. I hope I never disappoint you, but being only human, there's no doubt that something I might say will at some point.
The most important advice I ever learned in life is..."Never give up!"
You will fall, but each time you do, get up again and let nothing stop you in pursuit of your dreams! :)
You are honest and inquisitive by nature it’s a sign of brilliance and I love your way of writing equally 💕
All this opened the door for me to really self assess myself as deeply and know now to whom I relate to better.
I wish you were a best friend around me 💕well we are online though and I love my online friends. It’s very genuine because the medium is text and thoughts.
You inspire thought and I don’t mind its life we ought to question everything.
I grew up in a family that was relatively open in terms of explaining everything just the way they are and not prettify or uglify facts.
My siblings and I and the "birds and the bees" talk when my parents deemed it appropriate and the time for the big talk was adapted to our age.
I was fortunate enough to experience first hand the mistakes my elder brother did and even though he is a boy, it gave me a pretty good insight as to what to expect. He was no better than those guys my mom warned me about when it comes to getting a girl. That was lesson no. 1.
My dad was not that much involved but I realize now that he was worried. He always was supportive but his dramatization of the consequences of carelessness made me think twice. He always said that if
"... you realize that it is entirely in your hands to make sure that you are always aware that you are playing with your future if you are not cautious. You are playing God and God only takes lives back for a good reason. Being pregnant because you were careless is not a good reason and you will have to cope with that new life. You will curse it before you will love it. Just think twice..."
To this day I think of those words and that was lesson no. 2.
As for my mum, she was more worried of the overall impression I would leave on my first date.
"... First impression are usually the right ones. Don't rush into a relation because of hasty decisions. Take time to think and know where to draw the line..."
Lesson no. 3 learned.
All in all, they were both supportive, knowing that they both went through the very same experiences not so long ago. What are 20+ years in a life after all.
I wish everyone would have parents that are supportive rather than denying.
The day you get a new baby is the the day you start losing it to somebody else.
The first time I went to on a date with a guy, my mom was huge into helping me get ready to go out with him even though it was just to a carnival and a local burger joint. She gave me the talk, handed me condoms and told me to make sure he uses them if I happen to find myself in the position of wanting to have sex with him.
I mean my first and only real date was in 8th grade and my date's parents went with us so my parents didn't really worry about it all that much.
I wasn't really nervous about it, but I did talk about it with some of my friends and although they told me what to do I didn't listen to any of their advice lmao.
Lmaooo they didn't want me to go on a date with no one 😂 There advice was not to date. I have a boyfriend currently and they met him and my dad doesn't like it and my mom has accepted it and just tells me to respect my self and that we shouldn't be doing any bad cause we are young.
No one was there, and I prefer it that way. Anyone who has ever tried to give me advice in other moments of my life usually repeat things I already know or tell me unuseful advice, creating a very awkard unnecessary situation. I have learnt more when people told me about experiences they lived or are living about relationships just because they need to talk about it that when they are trying to give me any preach.
Yeah. But I don’t listen to most of their advice. They’re not happy. And they’ve done a lot of bad things, and still can’t admit when they’re wrong. I figure that making my own decisions will help me more than listening to what they say.
Nope, my parents strongly prohibited any kind of romance with a guy. I wasn't even allowed to hang out with guy friends or go to any parties with guys at it.
I think it was good for the most part. Especially since i was very very naive and would give into pressure back then. But it would've been nice if my parents were a little less strict and communicated with me more and talked to me about boys and dating so that I'd have some idea. I refrain from dating even now cause i have no idea what to do and am a bit afraid of commitment
My mom came to my room when she knew I was getting serious about my first boyfriend. She brought a cucumber and a bunch of condoms. She said "when you get it right you can stay with him over night "
Most Helpful Opinions