What is your advice on my boyfriend's plan on having children in the future?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend finally changed his mind and is open to having one child 20 years from now because he will have enough money for them. He doesn't have a job but gets money from the stock market that he invests every month But in 20 years I will be too old to have them naturally so I told him I want one in my 30's but he says he probably won't be ready for that. If I convince him that there is options for low income parents will he still be open to getting me pregnant a few years from now?

[Oliverlogan263]

Uhhh I don't know, that sounds like kind of a tricky situation. A couple thoughts on it - first, if your boyfriend isn't totally sure he wants a kid in the next few years, then you definitely shouldn't try to convince him or rush into getting pregnant. Kids are a HUGE responsibility and they're expensive, so both people need to be 100% on board. Second, even if there are options to help low income parents, it still might be really hard raising a baby if he doesn't have a steady job yet. Babies cost a lot of money even with help.

I'd say maybe give it more time before trying to convince him. A few more years won't make THAT much difference to your ability to have kids naturally. Keep talking to him about what you both want for the future. See if he can get a more stable job situation first so he feels more ready. Make sure he understands how important it is to you too. But don't put pressure on or try to get pregnant without him fully agreeing. That's not fair to anyone, especially a kid. Communication is key - I'd keep talking it through with him honestly instead of rushing into anything. Hope that helps! Let me know if you need any other advice.

[Staximus]

If you want kids, it sounds like this is not the guy for you. You don't want to be 60 when your kids graduate high school. The guy can't even go get a job so he can have more money to invest. It sounds like he just wants to do the bare minimum. If he can't put forth any more effort to improve his future, he's not going to put forth much to improve yours or a child's. I could be wrong, though. Maybe a kid will make him get off his lazy ass and get to work. If you and him aren't bringing in enough money to support a kid, maybe you shouldn't have one. You can always go get a better job, too.

[midnightmoon05]

Will you be able to have a kid if he is not in the picture? Let say…you do have a kid with your future husband … and he lost his job, are you able to support 3?
You said you want 1… but you said them… so who else will he be supporting?

this guy is not the one for you. Trying telling him you want o go look for rings…want to know his reaction.

[LazerBean]

It sounds like he thinks you're a fool and has no intention of having children with you.

[OlderAndWiser]

DO NOT have a child with him hoping that he will change in any way in the future. DO NOT!

[Surely]

Only he can answer the question if he would be open to have a child earlier. If you want one of your own. He needs to change his thinking or you need to find another sperm donor!

[ThrillSeeker01]

He needs more confidence. 20 years is ridiculous.