Why do men run away from the best version of themselves in ordee to get the woman?

Question

Throughout my single years I've notices a theme. Men not running away from me but from themselves. They meet a good woman who accepts them as they are. The unconsciously know that they can't get away with games, lies or manipulation with this person because she is the real deal. Meaning he would have to "Come Correct" he may like this woman or even love her, he's emotionally not ready to dive deep and transform into a better version of himself as an individual and for the union to blossom. Some men walk away and choose the woman who's easy to manipulate, play and have a surface level connection! 💁‍♀️🙆‍♀️

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

The men you are describing are the men who have prioritized themselves their entire lives, which is why they have all the things that you find so attractive. Maybe he has good looks because he spends time and money grooming himself and dressing well - but this takes time and money. Maybe he's really fit - but this means 1-2 hours a day in the gym. Maybe he's financially successful - but this means working 60 hours a week, late hours, and last-minute emergencies. And with such men, it also usually means that they aren't interested in a serious relationship because they already know that the woman, while she is so attracted to him because of everything he's got, is also not going to be happy in the long run because of all the things he needs to do to maintain it all.

Women always want more time, more attention, and not have plans spoiled at the last moment - but if that man doesn't devote his time and attention to all those other things, then he's going to lose his looks, his fit body, his money, and his status. And she will blame him, and the courts will side with her. When you look at it from this perspective, you will understand why it's to his advantage to only have casual relationships and not be overly concerned with losing one woman when he has a hundred or a thousand in his phone who have been dying to have a turn.

Women don't choose the men who want to be serious and have a long-term relationship because they don't have as much of those attractive qualities as the top men - even though they have more time to give her attention.

Most women want it all in one package - but while such packages DO exist, they are incredibly rare, and they are SO desirable that they can attract the most desirable women and get them - leading actresses, pop stars, Victoria's Secret Angels, etc. Most of them are already married.

Women need to understand that they are never going to be able to change a man. Whoever he is when you meet him (morals and values wise) is who he will be forever. That means if you want a serious, long-term relationship, you have to pick a man based on long-term criteria, and he has to ALREADY be all the things that are important for a long term relationship. There is NO option of finding an attractive short-term guy and making him long-term. It simply doesn't work.

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

This is such a good question because you are 100% right

I think it's because they are too lazy they don't want to work on themselves or think harder than they have to to become the best they can become

It's like why are there bad people in the world because they're lazy they would rather take from other people than get up go get a job and do the right thing
Because they think it's too hard to be good it's only hard to be good until it just takes over and starts doing it on its own you have to work it being lazy you don't have to do anything

Same with guys in relationships they're lazy they don't want to get up and go do what they don't want to do when they don't want to do it LOL and they know that they're going to have somebody on their butt saying hey weren't you supposed to go do this
So they don't get involved because they don't want that person to know who's a really really are because that embarrasses them so they go and they pick another woman that falls in love with him so they can go do anything that they want knowing that she'll always be there for him. Because she allows him to get away with anything and everything

Even to the point where he could cheat on her break her heart go live with the other lady until she finds out who he truly is she'll kick him out and guess where the guys are going to go right back to the one he cheated on because he knows he can manipulate her because she loves him.

Both of those are just drama-filled scenarios that just hold you back in life and you're never going to get anywhere you're never going to have anything not even your peace of mind or I mean anything really so I agree with you why

When they walk into a pot of gold don't they embrace that gold and do what they have to do to deserve that gold I've never ever understood guys I don't really care to either but you're right you're 100% right

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Accepted Answer

I blame the patriarchy for stunting men’s emotional growth. The patriarchy tells men that being emotionally vulnerable with another man is gay and therefore bad, so the only kind of emotional vulnerability they’re “allowed” to show is with women, usually their girlfriends. This turns into men being emotionally stunted to the point that when they DO get partners, they either trauma dump on her to the point of overwhelming her and losing her in the process bc they placed all their eggs in one basket or they’re so stunted they’re unable to communicate anything properly and assume it can all somehow be communicated through sex only. This shit hurts men as much as women in my opinion.

WhitneySnow · Accepted Answer

They’re still running away from you because they can’t manipulate you

Summeroflove · Answer

Well I don’t know why people pick people who do nothing but destroy them but it’s by far better to be alone then with someone who makes you miserable.

Finding someone who accepts you for who you are but also pushes you to be a better version of yourself if a true gem. But people would rather go out and have sex… Which just pushes those kind of people away. They end up being with a bunch of whores and eventually knock one up and immediately marry her. Those marriages 9/10 fail. There is exceptions to the rule but those are people who still can see and rectify their past actions

blueonblack22 · Answer

The title of your question doesn’t match the main body.

For a moment I thought you hit on a good point when I read the title. But I was then extremely disappointed by condescending and misandrist what your main point was. Especially with your “unconsciously know that they can't get away with games, lies or manipulation”. Like all men behave that way. Smdh.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

I don't think any adult can transform into a "better version of themselves", looks like a tale recounted by self-help pop literature to me. After achieving one's construction, what's done looks mostly done, this is what I see. I could expect superficial modifications of a personality, but not more than that.

michalpl00 · Answer

Not me at least. My ex motivated me to start working on myself studying, working out more. Listening to audiobooks about relationships. Dressing nicely. Just the full package. She made me want to become my best version of myself. But I think it’s just personality. Date someone who is into self improvement like me. I just became more motivated.

HighValue · Answer

Honestly, at your age, a woman is VERY unlikely to have any good quality men seriously interested. Good quality men have more options.

Deny it, get angry, or whatever you want, but it won't change reality.

Below average is the best to hope for at this point.

ashakantasharma · Answer

Ultimately, the key to healthy relationships is balance. In a healthy partnership, both individuals should feel supported in being their best selves, without feeling the need to compromise their values or identity. The best kind of love is one where both people encourage each other’s growth, rather than becoming fixated on meeting external expectations or trying to "win" each other over by sacrificing their true selves.

Sevenpointfive · Answer

when i was younger i would emulate the kind of guy the girl wanted. it was pointless. i found out i'm a much bigger asshole than him later on in life. i can tap hotter ass than her anyway

es20490446e · Answer

Social media has brain washed people into thinking they shall do certain things to be likeable.

The truth is that you are attractive by nature. The other gender already wants to be with you, and support you instinctively.

grega239 · Answer

Many men work to be better for themselves , not for women.

SolitarySolace · Answer

Because women aren’t worth it when it comes to men being their best self. Why aren’t women told to be their best selves for men? Women are the fucking worst

worldscolide · Answer

My wife is the reason I am the best version of my self.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Because coming correct would force them to confront stuff that they aren't ready to confront yet.

slatyb · Answer

Simple -- poor self-esteem. They don't feel that they are worthy as they are.

genericname85 · Answer

cause women want exciting edge lords. not boring regular guys. men are just catering to female choices.

blackeagle007 · Answer

An open relationship is one thing, both sides on same page. But if monogamy, one who’s unfaithful doesn’t love you. Shows no commitment to you.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Most men subconsciously adopt certain behaviors to impress women, but it is an act that usually doesn't last for long.

Juxtapose · Answer

lol I don't change FUCK ALL about myself for people, especially lovers. They either like me or they don't, why pretend?

Anonymous · Answer

Sometimes it's tempting to go with what appears to be the easier path. Especially if there doesn't seem to be enough reward for going the difficult path.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

They're trying to convince a woman perhaps out of their league that they're (lads') worthy of the hot lady.

CarolinaGirl5 · Answer

They're running away from you hun. The sooner you accept the truth the quicker you can get the help u need

LiamJHayden · Answer

Some guys worship the V and that is nearly all they consider.

BarryLiverstone · Answer

I’d say there are several reasons why guys do this.

Vegasrunner · Answer

Odd comment. What makes the women "good" How can you judge another person's "subconsciousness? This is another example highlighting thar women don't understand relationships.

strateguy632 · Answer

Because of laziness

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

OUR DICK DOES MOST OF THE THINKING

In_Trance · Answer

You answered your own question

Why do men run away from the best version of themselves in ordee to get the woman?

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