Am I entitled for wanting the same things other people around me have when it comes to dating?

[Anonymous]

For context I’m a autistic bisexual man so this is directed towards both men and women. Almost everyone I know either A) is in a relationship or B) has someone who has a crush on them that I know of, apart from me. I don’t want to sound like an incel but I’m getting extremely frustrated and I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried improving my appearance, I’ve tried practising talking to people (although it is difficult because I’m autistic) and I STILL keep getting rejection after rejection after three years of trying. I am doing literally everything I possibly can and nothing is working. I just want to have the same experiences that literally everyone else my age is having. I have *never* had a single man or woman genuinely compliment me or ask me out. “Just being confident” is extremely tricky when you have absolutely nothing to prove that you are of value of anyone romantically or sexually. The advice of “friends are more important lol” has completely backfired on me because it’s made me realise just how much everyone has apart from me. I’ve been patient for three years, I literally just want to feel genuinely attractive to ANYONE. Having autism isn’t something I can just switch off! And this is only going to get worse as I get older, as a lack of experience will likely be a major turn off, so I feel like a there’s a massive amount of pressure on me to learn these things *now* or struggle even more in the future.

[Lynx122]

No you're not you have to work on understanding yourself and other people and improving your social skills. I'm autistic and I've been working on my mental health and improving my social life since I was 25. People will only want to be around you if they feel like it's worth it for them so you have to find a way to offer people that. As a young man it's extremely hard especially when you're at a disadvantage but it will get easier every day. You don't have to learn it now. I was alone a long time too. But I used that time to help myself internally deal with all the trauma and fears that came from that. Yes it is a disadvantage if you can't start dating early but that's just something we have to deal with. Instead of asking yourself why you're not getting what you want right now ask yourself what kind of person you want to be when you do meet a person that is interested in you. Because you will get a chance to be in a relationship later on in life.

Forget about the "just be confident" advice that's the biggest bullshit of all time. Confidence will come when you understand yourself and other people better and you feel more comfortable with just talking to people. You know what to expect. In highschool everybody was extremely unpredictable so I always felt anxious but now I feel very comfortable in conversations because I've done it a lot and I'm not worried something bad is gonna happen.

Just be confident is advice people give if they already have all the small things figured out that are difficult for us. Anyway you need patience and self awareness without that you will keep being frustrated for ever.

[Anonymous]

A little bit yeah.