Is it an advantage or disadvantage for a man to be older in a relationship?

Question

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Depends on the woman. Depends on the man.

There are evolutionary reasons why women might prefer older men. Older men are typically more stable, have more resources and have more life experience. Back when women depended on men for survival purposes they would generally choose men that could do more to protect and provide for them.

Anyway being an older guy myself who has experience dating younger women I have the below feedback:

An older guy should have his sh*t together more. But he isn’t superhuman. He’s still going to make mistakes. He’s still going to have his own problems. Nobody ever has it “all figured out”.
An older guy might feel some insecurities that a younger woman will cheat on him with a younger and more attractive man. He might not vocalize this the same way middle aged women often do but he’s definitely thinking about it.
Problems are going to come up in any relationship. Sure dating a younger woman is fun and exciting when all is going well. But a younger woman might not be as good at processing issues and effectively communicating.
Sometimes the older guy worries about coming off as “too old and boring”. He might intentionally act immature time to time just to feel younger.
The older guy might have some insecurities in bed. Sure he’s thrilled to get in bed with an attractive young woman. But he might be worried about how she feels about it. Worried that she might lay there and/or fake it not to enjoy it as much. Worried that she is doing it as a “chore/favor” or something.

Anyway I will likely end up with another younger woman again. But the youngest I’ll go is 28 for a whole host of reasons. I’ve been romantically involved (not together) with a 23 year old right now.

Truth is she driving me nuts. Very entitled. Admittedly I had a bit of a “daddy complex” when it came to giving her advice to improve her own circumstances. But she doesn’t want to put in the work / effort into being more independent. I should know better given she’s a very attractive 23 year old. However I was still hoping she was an exception to the rule but she’s definitely not.

Although we definitely aren’t in a relationship I do plan to lay her down with gentle hands.

RichA322 · Accepted Answer

It can be an advantage

OR

a disadvantage

If he is a good guy, then he is a good guy regardless of his age. If he is an A-hole, he will be an A-hole regardless of his age.

And that applies to absolutely everything.

Yes, older Man CAN be more experienced regarding Life and of course regarding Sex. But they can also be total Losers both in Life and in the bedroom. Growing together, aging together and well "training" together how to have satisfying bedroom fun for both of you even if he is (much) younger than you and totally inexperienced can also be a wonderful life.

Story from real life:

When I was in the military, we had an Older Captain who was Constantly bragging how good he was, how good he could give it to his wife, how much money he earned. Turns out, he was cheating on her, she was cheating on him because he couldn't satisfy her and she knew that he was cheating (she was telling him this I front of the whole military base when she threw him out...) And he had a gambling addiction and was always broke. And there were several of that same age group with similar flaws (of course not just in the military)
On the other side, there were several younger recruits planning their life, having their lives under control, investing in the stock market, planing on saving up money for buying a house and trying new kinks with their girlfriends whenever both of them wanted and they were 100% loyal to their girlfriends.

So age is just a number. Look behind the curtains. A Good Man can look too Young/too old, but be the best choice. You can educate yourself and get a better paying job, you can buy a new car, you can pay of you dept, you can save money for a home, you can learn how to satisfy a Woman, you can learn foreign languages, you can work out and loose weight, you can earn more money, etc, etc. But a selfish, evil, violent person will remain like that regardless of status, looks and age.

Character and Soul are invisible, but they last forever. Everything else can be bought, teached, learned, earned or you can work for it.

Screenwriter · Accepted Answer

Can be an advantage OR disadvantage.

If a man is MUCH older, already has grown children and isn't interested in having more and the woman is much younger and wants children. Bad combo.

The advantage is the man is settled in financially and likely has a long-term good job and is stable. Also, he's also probably sown all the wild oats he wants or needs to. This is good too.

The flip side of this is, with a much younger woman he might not want to go out to concerts, dinner, on adventures. He might not be as interested in sex as the younger woman.

But, despite age differences, if the two have similar values and personalities, they could be perfectly suited despite 20 or 30 years' difference... It's UNLIKELY, but could happen.

I'd say, take. your time when there is a large age gap. Some make it work. If the gap is more than 15 years, you're facing a challenge.

RedHigHeels · Accepted Answer

I love this question. It solely depends on the men and where you are mentally in you're life. You'll attract and allow different types as you grow. Older men as a whole are definitely better but in my experience they've all had some young immature man tendencies that were shocking and didn't show up until some outside pressure presented itself that had nothing to do with me. Pay attention to how ANY guy reacts no matter the age and you'll have your answer.

HawkPerception · Answer

I think generally it's better for the dominant submissive dynamic there generally is between a man and woman. It puts them both in their masculine and feminine energy.

However, any dynamic can work in a relationship and there is no rule of thumb for a relationship. A man can be older than a woman and vice versa

ohsheeT · Answer

There's no such thing first of all in a relationship you don't weigh things out to be an advantage or disadvantage

Everything is equal everything is a partnership everything is one.

And no matter what in life. And in relationships there's pros and cons to everything I mean you have to make it work you have to you can't think of yourself as being greater or better or anything like that because there's no such thing

Summeroflove · Answer

It just depends on the relationship. What matters most is a genuine connection with one another. Many people date for the wrong reasons and deserve one another in the end

coachTanthony · Answer

I don't know but that photo looks like a father and daughter lol

AviatorTom · Answer

Makes no difference. There are pros and cons for older, same age or younger.

HighValue · Answer

It is good if he is 28 + because that is old enough to see what habits he has developed in life, what his health and fitness are likely to be like long term (many high school and college athletes get lazy and very out of shape after they stop playing sports) if he did dumb things to go to jail like theft, looting, drugs, etc. Or if he has a past of casual sex.

Things that can significantly affect a relationship long term often won't be known with a young guy that is still in or just out of college.

Apple1996 · Answer

Disadvantage. Men die sooner and also get ED/other issues with their hormones so it's better to date your age or younger men. Men of any age can be mature/have money so don't listen to the people saying that is a advantage when they're other options

Zack-Bann · Answer

I would argue that the older partner is often at an advantage.

Because the younger partner has to sacrifice certain youthful experiences to keep up but the older partner, if anything, will get to relive a few youthful experiences.

Generally it’s a good idea for a couple to adjust their dynamic at an age gap midpoint to make sure both parties don’t have to fake who they are.

Because it’s true: you are a different person at every age tier

MementoMori_ · Answer

Advantage of course. A man's natural role is to provide and protect the family. In most cases an older man is better equipped to do that than a younger one and has the wisdom, maturity and means to accomplish it.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

It doesn't really matter, as long as they both want kids. I mean, if she was older and couldn't have them anymore but he DID want them, that wouldn't be the best relationship. Now, iif he's older and neither wants kids, they're okay.

molonski2 · Answer

Massive advantage , and always the way it should be , the other simply does not work biologically and the female will always be used , and regret , the man must be older.

Anonymous · Answer

It could go either way. I say it’s an advantage because he’s usually more financially stable. He’s probably done w doing stupid shit like. He’s more experienced in life as far as not being taken advantage of. He more than likely knows how to treat his girl better. This is just a few things among many other that make it better not only for him but for her as well.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

it doesn't matter... age doesn't create advantages or disadvantages... people create them with their decisions...

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

There is no good answer I can think of due to how this question is worded, relationships cannot be objectified, there is no measurable data to do that since we deal with perceptions and subjectivity fluctuating all the time

MrCharlie13 · Answer

Depends on the point of view. You have more experience, you have less vitality sometimes. You have (usually) a larger budget to have dates, but less time to do so. Also, you might not be as tolerant to a younger person

chrissykerdock · Answer

an older man will treat you better than a man your age or younger

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

I think it depends on the dynamic of the relationship.  I'm sure it varies a lot. Maybe younger though. If you're very mature in the head.

NathanDavis · Answer

most things can be both... advantage and disadvantage at the same time but just for different things, it all depends from which perspective you're seeing these things, and what for...

DrPepper12 · Answer

Better at first but it's all downhill from there

Anonymous · Answer

It's NEVER a disadvantage to be a man. There's always just good choices and bad choices. If a guy dates a women with and age gap larger than 10 years and that's usually asking for trouble.

Anonymous · Answer

you never stated how much older. could be a month older or 10 years older. big difference.

Wise4myage · Answer

I think its an advantage for the older guy, especially if he's experienced.

asarjam · Answer

Neither or both or one of each - each relationship is different. Context would matter.

FenixG45 · Answer

It's all relative and depends. Things to consider are money; whether one wants children, and if so, how many?; What kind of lifestyle do you want to have? Some don't want children, but a certain kind of lifestyle. Some want many children.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Could be a little of both depending on you and what you want

Nerdvana · Answer

Neither, it's more important that he is mature. Ready to take on the responsibilities of loving a woman.

Pohjolan · Answer

A bit of both like they will have a more matching libido but will more likely have communication issues due to changing language.

Jennz6 · Answer

Most guys like younger women

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

Older because the man's experience should help a much-younger woman through a relationship.

Flower7 · Answer

Advantage of course. Guys judge older women.

Awantika03 · Answer

I think older has advantage

oldpigg · Answer

I don't find older women attractive at all.

Circushowcowboy · Answer

I don’t think it is inherently either

Grond21 · Answer

Usually advantage

WilliamStormsReturn · Answer

depends, don't go to much older

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

It is neither.

Cheerfull009 · Answer

Older have experience

Anonymous · Answer

Advantage, men mature later in life.

Anonymous · Answer

Advantage for whom?

Tomisworthless · Answer

You guys look like a good couple

tzdc21 · Answer

That depends on you

LunarEclipse433 · Answer

Disadvantage

Klelia2001 · Answer

Can be both I think.

Erron_Black · Answer

Advantage

Anonymous · Answer

Go for it

Anonymous · Answer

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