Guys, what do you interpret when you hear a woman say "I don't have high standards..."?

Question

... Followed by "must be 6 feet tall" You're feeling the same?

WhiteSteve · Accepted Answer

I mean…. people say a lot of things, you know? I appreciate the point you’re making, and it’s not without merit, but I’m just saying I think most of us are probably out here wish-casting and trying to play out of our league, in some aspect or another. We don’t need to get in-depth about it, but think of what your own physical standards might be, and how do those match up with what you demand in a woman? Or even just personality standards?

When you go car shopping, you’re rarely in position to walk into a dealership, and say I want THIS model, in THIS color, with THIS interior color, with THIS accessories package, with THIS specific amount of mileage on it, etc. You might have to settle for something that isn’t exactly what you pictured in your mind, but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad car or a bad deal.

And when I hear guys complain about their tough luck in love, I (respectfully) think to myself, are you turning your nose up at all the women out there who aren’t beauty queens? Same applies to the ladies. If you’re kicking out good dudes for being 5’8, that’s no better.

We all have our hang-ups. I’ve been hearing all my life that women like “tall, dark, and handsome.” I’m pretty tall at 6’2, I don’t think it’s anything that reaches an objective level but I think I’m at least somewhat handsome to some people, but dark? Nothing about me is anywhere near dark, haha. Blond hair, blue eyes, fair skin…and that always bothered me. So I get feeling however you feel about not being tall…. but I also have fared pretty well despite it.

I’ve probably been the most successful with women in one group of friends from college who are my “lifer” friends, and I maybe “fit the traditional mold” more than them, in a lot of ways. But I’d argue the next most successful is the shortest one, and he’s pretty damn short. But he’s really funny, and a good dude. Two of the others, very average in most physical ways, both a little quirky too, are both married for many years. They’re good and decent guys. One is an absolute goofball and the other has a stick up his ass, very different guys, but both are married with a kid and doing just fine. Nobody’s wife is going to be in a beauty pageant, but they’re also not ugly. Just average women, and average ain’t as bad as we make it out to be.

You know who’s the most hard up? The tallest one of us. Girls used to come up to me in college asking “who’s your friend?” Kid was like 6’3, 225 lbs back in our young and svelte days (he’s gotta be 270 now, yikes), I wish I had his frame. Not a bad looking kid, and holy smokes, can he cook. But he’s weird, lmao, like he wasn’t properly socialized. He spent his time alone watching TV as a kid, so he thinks life works like the TV and the movies, is my theory. He can be very charming, but his life expectations are all out of whack. And he’s another one who thinks he has to have “the best” of everything. I’ll never forget when we were young and poor but he was still asserting that he couldn’t drink store brand orange juice, it HAD TO BE Tropicana. It’s that kind of mentality. You watch that old show Friends and their fridge is loaded with glass-bottle Snapples at $3 a pop in mid-90s money, like they aren’t already living in what must be at least a $10k per month palace of an apartment in NYC, lmao…this is fake life.

So he’s 46 and has never had an official girlfriend. He gets laid on occasion, but no one sticks around. And as we’ve gotten older, he seems to think 22 year old women are still in play for him, lmfao. Like “bro, you’re fat and middle-aged, adjust the dial”😂

Anyway, I say all that to say that women, especially younger women, like anyone else, are walking in wanting the best for themselves. And put yourself in their shoes for a minute: look at how we look, guys collectively. Now look at the ladies. They’re doing way better than us aesthetically, lmao. I see unattractive women everyday who still look like they got up at 4:30 AM to get gussied up for the day. Most dudes, especially in the ranks of the less attractive, look like they rolled out of bed in the clothes they slept in, lmao, just the effort levels are way lower. So maybe look at it like a woman would….”I woke up pre-dawn to do my hair and makeup and try my best to meet the standards men are saddling me with meeting, and those same guys haven’t shaved in four days and are wearing mesh basketball shorts from CostCo.” I wouldn’t be rushing to cuff that guy either, if I were them.

So, anyway, that’s a whole long thing, lmao, but what I’m saying is don’t get down on yourself, but make an honest assessment of what you bring to the table, and keep that in mind when you’re looking. You can take a swing at whoever you want, but remember there are billions of us, all supposedly looking for “the one”…. most people aren’t going to be for you, and you aren’t going to be for most people. It’s just the way of life. Like I said, I’ve been pretty successful with ladies…. but my batting average is still TERRIBLE. For every girl that said “yes”, hundreds said “no”, maybe not in so many words, but just you know how you kind of have that pivotal moment with somebody where you check the mood on that, and it just isn’t reciprocated, haha. It is what it is. Prepare to die a thousand deaths in the field. But you only need one victory, ultimately.

Keep your head up. Put effort into being the best suitor you can be. That’s all you can do. And what you reel in might not be what you exactly envisioned, but it can still be an excellent catch. Also remember the looks fade after not too long, and this is supposed to be “for life” thing, so make sure it’s someone you can hold a conversation with in matching rocking chairs.

Anyway, good luck, keep swinging, and don’t let the losses turn you hateful. It’s a frustrating process, I get it. And we all think we’re awesome and deserve better than what we’re probably getting, but life’s tough, wear a helmet. I’m glad I’m with the gal I ended up with, but I think of other gals from the past, some who never even dated because I was the one being too picky, and a lot of them were AWESOME women who, in another universe, I could absolutely see myself with long-term.

The women are out there, bro. And so are we. And we all have stupid standards for the other. You can’t really control where their minds are at, but you can control yours, so keep an open mind👍

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

It depends on the woman but everyone should have some sort of standards. Nobody should ever be with someone they aren’t attracted to and not only for their own sake but the sake of someone else who deserves someone who does love them.

There are hypocritical women who as entitled as they are to their own standards they also feel entitled to someone else. Those kind of people (and there is men like this too) are the ones who are very disappointed in the end.

They really don’t have a lot to offer and are bitter with men mostly because the kind of men they want don’t typically choose them at least not for long. So they get stuck with two extremes of bad men. One being the players, fuck boys, etc the other being the creeps, turds, bums, etc.

I will say though a woman who genuinely has a lot to offer is who men who have a lot to offer will pick. People who have too high of standards they never hold themselves to will never be happy. Even if they got everything they think they want they still won’t be happy.

But people with zero standards are also not people you should pick. They are people who have probably allowed some very questionable people into their lives and I don’t know if you really want to be involved with that.

Meisdipa · Accepted Answer

Everyone has their own set of standard whether the say it or not. It could be of a physical or psychological or social.

blueonblack22 · Answer

Women who say this usually know they have unrealistic symptoms standards for men and are trying to fight it.

To a certain extent I give them kudos for being semi self aware of their issue. But I say “semi” because they aren’t owning up to their problem. Instead they are trying to “fake it until they make it.”

I briefly dated two women who very hypocritical claimed they “weren’t picky” when in reality they were both extremely choosy and conceited. They knew they had a problem but their egos prevented them from fully owning up to it.

Zack-Bann · Answer

I don’t think anyone’s standards are unreasonable.
If for no other reason than: it’s them being honest about what attracts them

And this pathetic idea that women need to somehow lower their standards just because they themselves don’t meet the standard they ask for is sad and delusional.

The heart wants what the heart wants: it doesn’t have to make sense

And sure, asking for too much means you’ll live a lonelier life because want you want is scarce.
But it’s still better than settling for anything.

EzraIsShy76028 · Answer

I mean people in general are hypocrites, regardless of sex/gender. They say one thing but mean another. Like for example they say that you should never lie and that people who lie are scumbags who deserve the death penalty, but next thing you know they themselves lie several times a day to everyone they know. Or that lazy people are bad role models when they themselves can't walk 5 minutes without getting tired.

Garud · Answer

Like men openly shows the need of woman in their life.

Women openly shows they want a man who can fulfill their needs of life.

Exceptions are there, shown by emotionally mature people but they are minority in this context.

This will all die down when men fight against their biological wish and stop pursuing women too much. And it is happening slowly because of many reasons.

AaronKrieger · Answer

They either mean their appearance, personality, or both.

I have known girls who say this for both things and they mean it, but I think it has more to do with their self esteem than anything. It's why some of them stopped dating like that when they gained more confidence, which is good.

Anonymous · Answer

It’s usually said as either a play or an excuse. That’s what you would say to a rich guy who you don’t want to think you are a gold digger so he gives you a shot. The other people you would say it to are people you’re trying to make empathise with your plight of not being able to get a stable relationship.

A woman never says she doesn’t have high standards to someone she feels is below her standards.

People who truly don’t have high standards will willingly take a chance on someone they actually feel is beneath them.

Johnagain · Answer

Emily W. King has this video on the double standards women have for men.
She is so spot on about a lot of content. I feel strongly about double standards and am quick to call out those who have them. However, consider the source; society has conditioned most to have these hypocrisies.

Yannae · Answer

I imagine she's like my partner who is easily pleased and grateful.

It had been at least 2 months since I got her something. Never complained or anything
Someone on gag posted aboit flowers, and thus reminded me to go get flowers sometime. She freaking loved them. Not a "finally" or some angry reaction like that. Just from default happy girlfriend to Happier girlfriend lol

Easy to please.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

I try to give people the benefit of the doubt when they say stuff like that. Many times, the stuff women list as a standard seems pretty reasonable.

I've heard some crazy stuff too, but it's not generally the norm.

andreasderjuengere · Answer

Girls often speak the opposite of what they mean.

I interpret as follows: her definition of ''standards'' is still missing.

Thus, I will just wait and see if one of her next statements actually MEANS something :)

NicholasRedone · Answer

I must be 5 foot 11 ( I'm so glad I am)  And women must be 5 foot or shorter 😄😋👀 and pale and 20s white pale 🤍

Anonymous · Answer

I'm out because I'm not 6 feet tall and I in any case suspect someone focused on height is not asking the right questions and is not looking for the best long term partner anyway. So I guess i should thank them for making it easy.

Anonymous · Answer

If she didn't have high standards she'd have no reason to qualify with that statement. So a woman who says she doesn't have high standards is almost always a clear indication that she has high standards.😆😆😆

Pohjolan · Answer

That's not a high standard on its own. Go to any well equipped gym and there's plenty of athletic + 6 feet single guys looking for a committed relationship.

Anonymous · Answer

I interpret it as a manipulation, most of them actually does have very high standards. How do I know? I'm single my whole miserable life.

nik0102 · Answer

She can call everything a "preference" and you are not allowed to question it anymore

DrPepper12 · Answer

They're hypocrites as we all are. 🤷🏻‍♂️

UrsulaY · Answer

She should best be asked to elaborate

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

Nearly anyone can club her !!!

Guys, what do you interpret when you hear a woman say "I don't have high standards..."?

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Guys, what do you interpret when you hear a woman say "I don't have high standards..."?

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