Do guys think a girl with high standards is stuck up?

[ALWAYSclassy]

Like a girl who turns down a lot of guys. Do you think she would be stuck up, does it make you dislike her, or does it have no effect?

I'm not "snobby" but if a guy doesn't approach me right I'm not going to entertain him. Is that such a bad thing? I notice a lot of girls however will tolerate crap like that, so is there something wrong with me or am I ok?

[motorboater]

Well, a girl should date ONLY who she really wants to date. If that means nobody at all right now, so be it. If that means only really nice, honest guys, so be it. So "having standards" or turning down any and all pursuers that you're not comfortable with is fine.

That said, what makes your standards "high" compared to others'? What is it specifically that these approachers are doing wrong? Tell us, then we'll know whether you're stuck up.

Why? Because look at your own question for clues. You emphasize you're not "snobby. " Maybe so, maybe not. I can tell you that I've never met a down-to-earth non snob that needed to point it out.

You're "not going to entertain him? " Hmmm. That tone is a little snobby, wouldn't you say? Which diva are you, Beyonce?

You do notice "a lot of girls" who tolerate "crap. " So, right there, these guys asking you out are "crap? " And just look that all those girls who don't have "high" standards like you! Tolerating crap no less. You can't say now that you don't look down on such girls. And girls who look down on other girls and the "crap" they tolerate are. Snobs.

And besides, where's your confidence? "Is something wrong with me? Am I ok? " Please validate me! If you were so secure in the unworthiness of these guys, why ask the question?

Hey, maybe you're not a snob; I don't know. But here's a NON-snobby way to ask your question:

Do guys think a girl who doesn't go out with them is stuck up?

Like a girl who turns down a lot of guys. Do you think she would be stuck up, does it make you dislike her, or does it have no effect?

If a guy doesn't approach me in a specific way (*give example here *), I say no to him. Is that bad? Other girls like to be approached in this way. So why are my standards different than others'?

See? No defensiveness, no insecurity, no judgment of "right" vs wrong, no calling these guys' approaches "crap" and so on.

[ALWAYSclassy]

Well a lot of guys where i'm from have this idea that being an asshole or a "straight thug" is going to win them points with girls. they don't treat females w/ the respect we deserve. I wouldnt be rude to a guy I just wasnt into if he was nice, but I just can't be nice to a douchebag! but those are the same types that pull a lot of girls so I was wondering what girls see in them. I don't get it.

[motorboater]

Some girls like "bad boys" and that's one way to come across as a bad boy and score those girls. You're smart not to go with them, don't worry about it. Because bad boys grow up to be bad husbands and fathers. But, fyi, looking down on others as "crap," "assholes," and "douchebags" might be why you're atttracting the bad boys; that's their language baby. Carry yourself with class and kindness and you'll attract the same.

[ALWAYSclassy]

Mmm. See I've been sort of depressed lately too, that could be a reason why. Thanks!

[Married-in-PA]

Not at all, Mademoiselle. In fact, (when I was younger)... I found this VERY attractive. See, I like an assertive woman. I find that very, very desirable. Believe me you are fine, you're more than fine, you're awesome.

I knew this girl once, Tricia, she turned me down for drinks like 5 times in a row, and she said it was because I wasn't dressed right once, the next time because I was too talkative, then, because I was too eager. By like the fourth time, I wanted her SO bad, I went out, got a haircut, bought a NICE suit black-on-black (hey, it was the 90's, I thought I was Pacino).

In any case, looking back on it, she wasn't J-Lo or Beyonce, but the fact that she wasn't "easy" or desperate made her so incredibly desirable that I just kept chasing, and chasing her. (See, that's men's nature. We LOVE the hunt; too many girls skip right to the kill, if you know what I mean).

You keep doing what you're doing, and you're going to find yourself a firm, confident, "nice", young man. That's what my wife did :)

[Quackpotty]

It means that you have high standards, and expect the guy to treat you correctly, that's all. It's a good thing. HOWEVER, if you treat guys you think aren't worthy of your relationship with anything less than respect when you turn them down, that's when I think less of you. It totally depends on the way you treat other people. That you have high standards is actually a very good thing. Makes guys have to work to get your attentions, and therefore they're less likely to take you for granted. Just also be careful that you treat him the same way as you expect to be treated.

[kiamia]

Great answer

[ALWAYSclassy]

I meant that I have high standards when it comes to treatment. I treat any guy that I'm dating well too. I wasn't trying to come off bitchy! I turn guys down in a polite way most of the time, but a lot of guys (at least where I'm from) get really defensive when you turn them down.

[Quackpotty]

I swear I wasn't intending to say that you're being bitchy! I hope you didn't think that's what I said. I'm saying I respect you for your high standards. It's a very good thing! All I was saying was that the only way I would disrespect you is if you treated guys that you don't like with disrespect because that isn't high standards, it is bitchiness. Again, not what I said you are being.

Guys will get defensive when you say no because their pride is hurt. Don't lower your standards for them. :)

[benjammin09]

well it depends on what your criteria for turning down these guys is. If you just turn them down because they aren't good looking, that's a little bit wrong, but if your turning down guys because douchebags and losers approach you I guess its alright, but I wouldn't say your stuck up, you have standards, its just some people have the wrong standards

[ALWAYSclassy]

Well I have to be attracted so I would still turn him down but I wouldn't be mean to someone just because I didn't think he was good looking. I would only give him attitude if he was rude or a douche *I love that word!*

[Nutz76]

I won't sugarcoat it for you: if you're setting the bar so high then you have only yourself to blame if nobody meets it.

Something to keep in mind is that many women complain they always fall for the wrong type of guys, but what they fail to understand is that it's certain types of behavior those guys exhibit that they respond to. This is the core of the bad-boy complex. Women like men that are a challenge, bold, and interesting. The catch-22 is that those types of guys are also often the biggest assholes around that don't treat women with respect. The men women that fall into this trap wish to meet are the same men that don't have a chance with you because you've set the bar so unrealistically high that only the wrong types of men will pass your little tests.

There's a lot more to it than that, but it should give you something to think about.

[Anonymous]

It just means you have high standards.

You are only clueless to those you feel connected to.

Stuck up people like to be left behind.

its that great of a mix up of people that your chances of being seen are only 25 percent.

Don't worry about it.

Personal preference.