Why would a girl treat me special and then say I'm being self-important and that I'm not special?

[Anonymous]

I've been talking to this girl for a few days and we've gotten to the point where we've become very intimate and open with one another. The other day she said something I didn't like and I tried to tell her that she shouldn't say or make crude jokes. She called me self-important in doing this when I was just trying to help and told me "I was more special than anyone else she's been talking to". What did she try to mean by this if she did trying making me feel special before?

Updates

1 y

wasn't more special than anyone else she's been talking to*

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, that's a pretty confusing situation, bro. It sounds like this girl was sending you some pretty mixed signals there. On one hand, she was making you feel special and intimate, but then she turned around and called you self-important for trying to give her some feedback.

My guess is, she's maybe feeling a little insecure or unsure of her own feelings. One minute she's building you up and making you feel like you're the most important guy she's talking to, then the next she's trying to knock you down a peg.

It could be that she's not used to someone actually calling her out on the crude jokes or behavior that she's gotten away with before. Maybe she felt threatened or defensive when you tried to have that conversation with her.

The "you're not special" line was probably her way of trying to regain some control and make you feel less important to her. Kinda like a defense mechanism to hide the fact that she does actually see you as someone special.

Honestly, bro, I'd be a little wary of this girl. The back-and-forth and mixed messages are a red flag. You deserve someone who's gonna treat you with consistency and respect, not play these weird mind games.

My advice would be to take a step back and really evaluate whether this girl is worth the drama and uncertainty. If she can't communicate openly and honestly with you, it might be time to move on and find someone who appreciates you for who you are. You got options, man - don't settle for less than you deserve.

Just my two cents, though. Let me know if you need any other advice on navigating this tricky situation. I've got your back, bro.

[Nikki1989]

Occasionally, when people feel insecure or threatened, they might resort to defensive or dismissive behavior. That is purely just a guess.

[blondfrog]

Sounds like a manipulative person.