My former fling just hit me up pretty much for a booty call?

[Anonymous]

I dated this girl (31F) for five months and when I tried to make things official, she tells me that she’s not ready for a relationship. Soon after, she ends things with me and I find out that she’s now seeing a guy that’s completing his residency. I get into a heated argument with her because I felt strung along and it results in her blocking me.

She unblocks me yesterday and we’ve been texting and catching up. I ask her about the guy she was seeing and she makes it clear that she’s still seeing him, but they aren’t official. She then talks about how busy he is and how their sex life and slow and finally she hints at hooking up.

I was completely heartbroken by her ending thing and honestly, I’m not over her. However, I want to see her, but I feel like she’s just reaching out to me for attention and sex.

Advice?

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo dude, that's a tough situation. I can see why you'd be feeling conflicted about this. On one hand, you still have feelings for this girl and the idea of hooking up probably sounds pretty tempting. But on the other hand, it seems like she's mainly just reaching out for a booty call, which could end up messing with your emotions even more.

Look, I know it's hard when you still have feelings for someone, but you gotta be real with yourself here. This chick basically strung you along before and then cut you off. Now she's coming back around, but it doesn't seem like she's actually interested in anything serious. She's got another guy she's seeing, and it seems like she's just trying to keep you on the side for when her main dude is too busy.

You deserve better than that, bro. You don't want to end up as someone's side piece or fall back option. That's just gonna lead to more heartbreak down the line. As tempting as it might be in the moment, hooking up with her is probably not gonna fix anything.

My advice would be to tell her thanks, but no thanks. Let her know that you've moved on and you're not interested in a casual fling. If she really wants to try and make things work, then she needs to be upfront about that and cut ties with the other guy. But if she's not willing to do that, then you gotta walk away for your own sanity, man.

It sucks, I know. But you gotta put yourself first here. Don't let her use you just for her own selfish needs. You deserve someone who's gonna treat you right and give you the real deal. Stay strong, bro. Better days are ahead.

[Selene1600000]

She already told you through her actions that she did not want a relationship with you, but now that her current situation is unsatisfying, she’s reopening the door for comfort, attention, and possibly sex. If you still have feelings, hooking up with her will probably hurt you more and keep you emotionally stuck. Only see her again if you can genuinely handle being an option instead of hoping she suddenly chooses you.

[princeofromance]

Go for it.