What was it on the first date that made you not want a second?

Question

Also, for those who dismissed certain red flags and went on second/third dates anyway, what was it that in hindsight, you wish you would’ve ended things sooner

For example, the reason i didn’t go on a second date was a guy simply talked too much. He dominated the conversation, too much info way too soon and didn’t ask anything about me. i couldn’t get a word in edgewise. he was good-looking and owned a home fully paid off but i couldn’t get interested.

a regret i have for giving someone a chance he had no table manners. he had no job and no prospects. he lied a lot and he had no trouble hurting people. looking back i wish i’d listened to my gut. he kept saying he just needed a chance a a good woman beside him.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

This guy took me to a restaurant and ordered for me, an absolute hell no in my book unless we've been dating a while and you know me like that. When the food arrived, I put fork to mouth, and he literally took the fork from my hand and said, "we pray before we eat, okay," and began praying over the food. I'm not religious in the slightest, and I would have been fine with just sitting there while he prayed, but the grabbing of my fork---strike 2. Strike three was the conversation which was all about him, and him laughing at his own jokes. It wasn't even a nervous thing, it was as if I wasn't even in the conversation with him or in the same room. Finally, the pièce de résistance, was him randomly deciding to show up at my house one day. He just thought he'd "pop by," after that date in which I made no plans with him for anything else and made no indication that it went so well that he just had an open invitation to show up whenever he wanted. I made it VERY clear he should never return to my house or show up like this ever again. or call, text, or email me in anyway.

GrinchyTsy · Accepted Answer

When he spends more time on the phone with his mother than he soent talking to you 😒

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

There are a few things and look a lot of times it’s nothing personal I just know if we aren’t compatible that I’m not wasting my time and I don’t want to waste someone else’s time either.

But major things is acting entitled…. Such as ordering the most expensive stuff and acting like I have to pay. I will pay to be nice but if someone acts like I have to if they wanna ditch me and get theft of service charges go ahead. Part of the reason why I won’t order for someone you’re a grown adult you can order.

If you’re on your phone… Like why are you even with me? Why not just go eat by yourself or whatever we are doing. If you’re just going to be on your phone forget it.

I agree things like bad table manners. Trying to talk too much I agree like you’re there to get to know one another. Not just hear one person yammer on.

I will say another red flag is being unreasonably late. If it’s something out of your control shit happens I get that. But if you’re just late it shows you’re not that interested in me so whatever.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

how much beer she drank.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

She talked nonstop, she was loud, she made little effort to look good, she ordered the most expensive thing on the menu, we couldm't establish common interests, she spent time texting somebody else without any explanation. She weighed about 100 lbs more than the girl in her photos.

DishLady · Answer

When a guy brags too much, bullies someone or is otherwise unkind or discourteous it’s a total turnoff.

Finchie40 · Answer

Her personality was pure rude and disrespectful and wasn’t satisfied with anything , like she had a stick up her ass , a side of her I didn’t like whatsoever , so I never called her again

molonski2 · Answer

Poor Table manners

Poor presentation and at least reasonable colour coordination.

Only talking self.- self obsession.

Staring into phone.

No job and no options.

Speach , and understanding of language.

Rude to staff and others

Under horrendous table manners , I include talking with food in ones mouth , and chewing with the mouth open , absolutely disgusting , a little dignity please.

To some , small things seem petty , but small things add up to attitude and effort and all of these things will flow into other areas.

Lalalove11 · Answer

Oh I could write a book... I don't like when guys become lecherous immediately trying to touch you even if it's the hands, on a first date. A guy did that and kept touching my hands and staring into my eyes. It's too intense, like I don't know you we've only just met? And clearly you're mostly just interested in getting me into bed..

Another guy talked about his dead mom constantly on the first date, really wanted to kiss me and asked to hold my hand, gave a long tight hug and kissed my hand while staring into my eyes, was making awkward dances in this fast food place because there was music on and I got second hand embarrassment. Sorry if I sound like a b*tch.. he was cute but came off as super needy on a first date. Did not wanna meet again...

SherlockHolmo · Answer

The statement provided, @AnalUnraveler, reveals a strong aversion to traits commonly associated with masculinity.

It's clear that this individual's experiences have shaped a negative perspective towards men, possibly leading to a strong identification with feminist ideologies.

The reference to a 'good woman' as the solution implies a preference for same-sex relationships, further supporting our deduction.

My partner's impatience is understandable, but we must remember that justice demands a thorough understanding.

@DreamCrescent , we already have surveillance that your experiences have influenced your actions significantly and you are guilty of hate crimes against the male gender and sodomizing yourself with an automated fuck machine, which is illegal in most states.

Remember, the truth will ultimately serve you best.

Anonymous · Answer

It's usually one of a few things: no chemistry, poor hygiene, poor grooming, poor manners (usually poor manners to others like the waiter even though you're polite to me).

Less often, it's things like being obnoxious (we like when you're a frat boy with your friends, but not with us), no sense of humor, not smart. You don't have to be book smart, but at least be clever.

It's not usually looks or body because you were good-looking enough to get a date in the first place.

It's not usually bad clothes or bad style because we can fix that, and enjoy doing so.

It's not about dick size or money (unless you complain about the prices of things all night).

silvermoon84 · Answer

He was of English descent, I’m of Irish descent but we’re both Americans. I mentioned my Irish ancestry to him and he said that I could never tell his family about that if we got serious because they would hate me. I’m not going to lie about my family history just to appease him or his family and also, it was rather presumptuous to assume we were going to be serious on the first date. There was no second date needless to say.

naartjie · Answer

One date I went on, first and last. He kept talking about how he was this super traditional man, high value etc but he was extremely judgmental towards others, was so in love with himself it was crazy… just the way he spoke was foul and I could tell he was not a good person at heart. We literally pulled up to the venue and I told him to take me home so we didn’t even get out the car to go for dinner 😬

Caroline91 · Answer

First he badgered me into it by regularly coming by my workplace when he didn’t need to, but could bc we were one of his clients. Then he would come to my department and interrupt my work. He was a lot shorter than me and took me dancing and wanted to dance not cheek to cheek per se, but cheek to chest!! I told him out on the dance floor that I was going to uber home, bc he was also an insanely dangerous driver. Shiver…and not in a good way…at the thought still.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

I was on a date once, where the lady wanted me to "prove" everything that I said. For example, when she asked what I studied in college, I had to convince her that the degree and then the work that I did, had meaning to society, etc. She acted like my graduate degree (in the medical industry) was BS until I proved otherwise to her. Geeschhh how annoying. I was actually came home mad after that date.

Katebfun · Answer

So many reasons. Im highly intuitive, so sensing their intention was obvious ifni wanted to actually date a guy not for a hookup. Hygiene, never engaged with me asking questions, was rude, talked about an ex too much, felt like they wanted a therapist not a potential girlfriend. Looks, no intellectual connection.

Uglygaypoorcoward94 · Answer

I've never dated and the girl that i did court was on somesort of missionary journey to bring me to God (despite already being a believer). It was more a burden or choir for her that she wanted to have end the moment it began. In my eyes she was a government plant.

Crazyced · Answer

I'm lucky to say I've never had a bad 1st date. At worst there was no spark but at least always pleasant. That said I don't necessarily mind being the man of few words with someone that talks a lot so that's probably part of it.

MicahRaine · Answer

I found out that she was super into k-pop, to the point of knowing artists' birthdays, favorite things, hometowns, reposting them on social media, etc.

I get it, k-pop can be really catchy. But girl that ain't your lover 😂

Nikki1989 · Answer

If you can't hold a basic conversation. A total lack of similar interests. Et cetera.

RingOfFire · Answer

I've passed on second dates a number of times because I thought they weren't intelligent. I like someone with some depth and intelligence. I get bored if she doesn't have that.

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

Well if your secular person do whatever you please but if your Christian make sure he or she is a believer.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

Had a good date, but she didn't want kids. At that time in life that was an absolute for me. Wasn't worth wasting her time with second date

adventurous-1 · Answer

Her boyfriend showed up and it kinda ruined the date for me, so I took the hint and did not ask her out again.

Valdemort · Answer

When he said he forgot.  Enough to know they're not really interested. Lol.

bowenw · Answer

They didn't have much to say or seemed distracted.

Beachbummama84 · Answer

If the guy brags and flaunts and acts like he’s special. Be humble be polite! I get hit on a lot if I’m on a date with you I like you don’t go crazy just be real

NicholasRedone · Answer

Well I got stood up so I was like - swipe away swipe away lol 😆 😂

Professor-college · Answer

She started smoking and drinking too much... In another one she starting cursing about many issues in her life as if she's the only one who has to work in life

LiamJHayden · Answer

Only if she is rude to the server. Otherwise she might just be nervous being around a new guy. Lots are.

Vegasrunner · Answer

I've never been on a first date that didn't lead to a second

Caroline005 · Answer

She was on her cell phone whole time she didn’t notice I left til 12.

Anonymous · Answer

She didn't offer to help with the bill. I wouldn't have let her if she did offer, but when a woman doesn't offer, it tells me something important about her.

TDDMS · Answer

The boobs. Definitely the boobs!

What was it on the first date that made you not want a second?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

What was it on the first date that made you not want a second?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.