Why doesn't a cold approach work?

[Anonymous]

ls it cause the guys who are doing it are losers? ls it cause people just dont like tallking to strangers? ls it cause people seek familiarity

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1 y

men who approach strangers in a park, saying, :"l saw you from over there, and had to come meet you" are men who cold approach are generally low value men? low value man is a guy with no social circle, bad jobs, bad reputation, not invited to parties, unpopular, mentally unhealthy, and came from a bad family. lf it;s normal for humans to want companionship, then why do most men who search for female companionship end up getting turned down?

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1 y

lf it works wouldn't everyone be doing it? getting a number is not success. lf you get a number, and no response, that's the same as not getting a number at all, and you're basically in the same boat as someone who never cold approached

[MrOracle]

With a cold approach, the woman knows nothing about the guy except how he looks. She wouldn't know if he's rich, if he's smart, if he's talented, or funny, or loyal, or anything else. And the vast majority of women, if all they have to go on is looks, will only respond positively if she finds him to be incredibly attractive - the kind of attractive that will make her friends jealous. That typically means he needs to be in the top 2% or less of looks.

This means that even the vast majority of above average looking guys aren't going to be attractive enough for a positive response.

Most guys learn this lesson very quickly, and painfully. If a guy isn't at the very top in looks, then he needs to spend time getting to know the girl and "selling" his other positive attributes to her first, before making any kind of move. That way, she has those other factors to consider, which will often raise his standing in her eyes.

But this is a lot more work, takes a lot more time, and is more humiliating if you still strike out (because you wasted so much more time and effort), so some guys prefer just to get a quick answer before they invest too much in a bad investment. They would rather hear "no" quickly than after hours or days of effort, even if they rarely have success. I disagree with this strategy, but I understand their point of view.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Its because people prefer a spouse that has pretty much everything in common with them and is also attractive.

There are a lot of people on this planet with different preferences, and the odds that the one you decide to randomly talk to is going to be anything like what you are looking for, is so small of a percentage in most situations, that its not a viable method of finding a compatible partner.

I don't really have the time to cold approach millions of women just to find a match, its better to look in a way that narrows down the search, but worthwhile women hate online dating for some reason, and they pretend to be men in online multiplayer game lobbies.

It would take very specific and unlikely circumstances for a cold approach to give good odds.

Like for me, a cute cosplayer girl at a comicon who is sitting down at her booth playing what just so happens to be one of my favorite video games, with her artwork and pet scorpion sitting next to her, while she sells gunpla and dinosaur model kits at her booth to passerbys.

Then I'd feel like, ok, this woman seems great, I should go talk to her and at least make friends and see where it goes.

I'm not going to find such hints at what kind of person she is while she is food shopping or walking down the street or something. So there is a high chance that whoever I cold approach at random in most places would either reject me or i'd reject her, or both.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Also, even in that unlikely but very telling situation, I'd need to also showcase to her that I'm likeminded, which in that situation would require already having started a conversation with her, and having it be rather long, which is not likely when she is busy playing, sketching, and selling stuff. If i'm lucky I might ge a whole 5 seconds before the next customer or the seller becomes impatient and wants me to wrap it up so the line can keep moving. How am I supposed to convey my compatibility to her in such a short timeframe?

Not only that, but that line is probably filled with a bunch of guys thinking the exact same thing as me.

[TheSpaceGnome]

My only hope would be to start up a booth next to her, with similar themes, and pass her notes throughout the day. You can see how this is becoming less and less cold just to make a cold approach work.

[SueShe]

Just like this anonymous blue label guy said it so rightfully.

Women assume the worst in men and they are right to do so. Basically, what does a man want from a woman that he approaches without having been invited? Right, he wants to get into her pants if given the opportunity. That is sole reason to approach a woman.

We all know that men are ruled by their testosterone levels and that since they have started puberty and probably well into their 60s or even 70s. It is just something that is part of them and that has not changed since the dawn of mankind.

Women will always be perceived as preys, as objects and as body counts. Always. And that is exactly why a cold approach does not work in most of the cases unless the woman is a hoe and allows it.

[lucas262]

Chose to wait till marriage. It's not the only reason I'd approach. Maybe you damn shoelace is undone or I'd like a date. My , testosterone, dosnt do the thinking for me

[Joshydavid25]

"Women assume the worst in men and they are right to do so. Basically, what does a man want from a woman that he approaches without having been invited? Right, he wants to get into her pants if given the opportunity. That is sole reason to approach a woman."

It's not the sole reason.. Maybe he thought she was beautiful and wanted to try and take her out on a date.. There's plenty of women wondering why men don't approach them anymore..

[lucas262]

Imagine being attracted to the opposite gender. Imagine having a sex drive, or wanting to ask out a woman on a date. Like take the chip off your shoulder, it's biological go argue with God if you don't like it

[Screenwriter]

Do you mean someone just ealking up to you trying to hit on you?

I'm sure it can work according to how skilled the person is at talking and being friendly.

I've had lovely conversations with people I've just met. The ultimate problem will be if you want to get to know the person more later. Do they seem safe? Where could you meet up next? Would it be worth it?

There's a lot to weigh with someone you're meeting for the first time at a party or at a club. It's a shot in the dark. I'd say be cautious, but a coffee date will hardly expose you to danger.

[Asker]

no l mean men who approach strangers in a park, saying, :"l saw you from over there, and had to come meet you"

[Screenwriter]

That's downright scary... Never had that happen in my lifetime. Only at a bar or party when I knew someone. Not out in the open when I was on my own...

[Summeroflove]

Personally I don’t hardly approach someone I don’t know since I most of the time have to get to know someone before I feel attraction. That’s just me personally and I also agree that people who only wait on who approaches them limits their options. If the only men approaching aren’t the kind you want then maybe sone people need to put themselves out there.

But a lot of men who have the options don’t need to go and approach randos unless they’re wanting to hook up and that’s it.

[ohsheeT]

It doesn't work because you can read right through it
You can see in their eyes their body language their tone of voice
And just by the way they talk to you

But if the guy is sincehe's gonna turn that moment into a nice warm approach, a funny approach. A real approach. And you will feel his words. his tone and body language

[DishLady]

No… not losers… but some guys are socially awkward. Plus most women have been taught some version of the “stranger danger” talk.

[Asker]

what l meant are guys who dont have any social circle, good jobs, good reputation, are not invited to parties, unpopular, mentally ill, don't come from good families etc, something that would perhaps make a person seem apealing

[DomInDraper]

Cold approach can work, but often doesn't. That's largely because doing it is hard. It requires a weird combination of being extremely psychologically well-adjusted while also being willing to act against social norms. Usually men who get into pickup come from a place of some level of lack of adjustment, and pickup ends up either breaking them, or giving them a very salient understanding of their shortcomings, which they can work to overcome.

'A' cold approach not working, of course, is just something of a numbers game. Does the girl like his particular look? Is she single? Is she interested in men? Is she just in a bad mood? Is she the kind of person who doesn't like interacting with others outside of a more structured environment? Is she even capable of trusting a stranger enough to consider it? Did the man just put his foot in his mouth and ruin everything right away?

And that's assuming he does his part right. The amount of things he can do to screw things up is pretty remarkable.

[Anonymous]

Maybe it’s because all women and girls do nowadays is bash men and guys tell her friends and the world how much they are repulsed by males and we are good for nothing even though we are the ones who fight in wars, we are the ones who do the tough/strenuous jobs, but emasculating men by raising feminism and then promoting that masculinity is bad/evil meanwhile feminism wants women to be masculine, how does that make sense I want every female to read this, if any of y’all think that way or believe that rubbish something is straight up mentally wrong with y’all. Legit sounds like some female mental patient just broke out of an asylum, got a fake phd and wrote a book of nonsense. Guys don’t want to approach women because the likelihood of her saying no is 90%, she’s gonna say no thanks or he’s not good enough or my level, she won’t give him a chance and then women and girls turn it around and say guys are cowards or losers with their approach or lack of approach. I’m tired of this bipolar, low self esteem, distorted ideological nonsense females follow these days, it’s a headache and it’s not worth the trouble. There, I just provided a sound response on behalf of guys on Gag and how we feel.

[Levin]

I tried talking to a very pretty girl after a yoga class last week. I couldn't tell if she was shy and socially inept, or just didn't particularly want to talk, ha. So I just left her alone.

I'm not going to put myself out there as some kind of 'rizz' master. All I can do in the real world is have the courage to try if a situation presents itself.

Approaching women is not easy. If the girl doesn't show much interest, or doesn't make some reciprocated effort back to try and get the chat moving and ask me questions, then I will move on quickly.

[SueShe]

So, basically, at age 39 you approach women for what purpose?

That is exactly what I meant when I explained why men do approach women without having been invited.

[Levin]

@SueShe For intimacy and connection? You do know that in order to make new friends and relationships, you have to talk to them first?

[Levin]

Oh, and I'm sorry at my age you think I should basically rot and die alone.

Please go and abuse your mod powers elsewhere.

[SueShe]

Mod powers? where did you see those?

[Levin]

@SueShe Please do not project your cynical world view onto me. I'm not perfect. I'm not a bad person. You're not a better person than me. And I don't have to justify myself to you. Go look in the mirror and focus on yourself.

[SueShe]

Just checked myself on the mirror and I like what I see.

Still, where do you see mod powers?

[Asker]

at 39, guys are pretty much done reproducing. there was a study done that said 1/3 of couples over 30 can't even have kids even if they wanted to

[Shiprex]

@SueShe It is possible to have a civil conversation with a woman I hope, NO we are not all driven by lust because if someone has a dog or a pet of any sort I would consider that something to want to discover and not jump in her pants.

[Joshydavid25]

@Asker Men can reproduce in their 70s.. The sperms losses quality as you get older, but production doesn't stop..

[Asker]

lf 1/3 of men are unable to reproduce by 30, l'd expect the number to be way higher at 70

[Joshydavid25]

Men are most fertile between 25 and 35, so that unable to reproduce Stat is probably just random..

[Asker]

maybe 13-18

[Joshydavid25]

I don't think so.. LOL.. After 40 Fertility makes a slow decline, but it's still very possible..

[Shiprex]

It's COUPLES not men. Men can still produce the goods well beyond the age of women's reproductive shelf life

[Levin]

Most Westerners also have shocking health. In the US, 40% are obese. 2/3 are overweight. Going off memory 1 in 2 adults have a chronic disease. The *average* person is physically done by the age of 40. They are still usually fat, slovenly and unhealthy in their 20s.

[Asker]

there's more studies that show a decline after 25

[Asker]

well l mean a lot of westerners are bald by 30 too

[Asker]

men can produce but the children have higher chances of being born unhealthy thats why you see so many kids these days born with mental illness (and who knows, all kinds of other illnesses too) as compared to 100yrs ago

[ProbablyClueless]

It's because a lot of people aren't using the cold approach properly. You don't make a cold approach to ask the lady out on a date. You make the cold approach to arrange another contact with her.

Does she want to have a date with you the first time you've spoken with her? Of course not. Who the hell would want to get dolled up to spend an entire evening of romantic possibility with someone they would barely know from Adam?

But she might be more willing to give you an email address so she can send you an inviitation to her church's community dinner next week.

[Asker]

well the vast majority of guys who cold approach aren't even getting a response even when they get a number. based on the pick up artists own admission, the phone numbers are either fake, or they get blocked

[ProbablyClueless]

That's true too! Lots of poor technique. Lots of social awkwardness. It also doesn't help that a lot of women are simply unpleasant people. Profoundly, deeply, categorically unpleasant people aren't going to make any interaction easy, not matter how innocent or genuine your approach with them is.

[Asker]

well thats what l meant when l said that people like familiarity. lf people are unfamiliar with you, they react in an awkward way, making the whole conversation unpleasant. this is why a lot of pick up artists, after a while, they will sound like a recording, a bot, or like theyre giving a speech, because they've programed themselves to say the same thing no matter what

[Shiprex]

If you're talking about men approaching women it's still possible that it will work with women who've been brought up in a healthy human way to accept that men MAY want to get to know them and if they're good looking, charming and above average height then there's a chance she may take the leap of faith it takes to make a connection.

Women, however, have been conditioned from early ages to be concerned with the motives of men and have told men to not approach them. Men in general have listened. Now they're not bothering as the media landscape and general trouble it can cause isn't worth the drama it can cause. SO it tends to be through artificial means that people meet each other such as dating apps and not organically like has been since humanity became civilised. That's not going to well I believe so ladies it's on you to step up and take over the mating ritual now that equality is twisting to add responsibilities to opportunities.

[Asker]

do you think cold approach has increased or decreased in the past few decades?

[Shiprex]

I can't say because I still think organic meetings are far the greater driver of relationships these days. ALTHOUGH I do think social media has made things more toxic as certain segments of society are far more invested and engaged in being influenced by it than others. You can probably guess which groups are which,

[Asker]

how is it organic to walk around a park specifically looking for dates, and then saying "l saw you from over there, and thought you were cute". seems to me if you going out there looking for conversations then it isn't organic already

[Shiprex]

Walking around a park looking for dates isn't organic. That's artificial and a bit desperate.
There's nothing wrong with finding yourself in the same space as someone you are interested in and the conversation can go from there.

[Anonymous]

It does work sometimes. But these days men don’t want to do that because of how a lot of women can be. Especially w social media. It’s hard enough trying to come up to a girl w out being nervous. Imagine her amazing him afterword. Blasting him on social media or accusing him of something. They’re not losers. They’re just not stupid. Sure I get every girl may not be that way but that’s like picking out one skittle out of a bowl, one laced w poison. Do you still take a chance? Not as extreme but it could be if you end up in prison or something for a false accusation. Not only that you see a lot of women telling men to leave them alone. That they can’t just go out w out men trying to hit on them. Being told we don’t need men. I can do it all by myself. Men are garbage, etc, etc. So please tell me why they should cold approach women when a lot of men are fed this bs.

[Asker]

do you think men who cold approach are generally low value men though?

[Opinion Owner]

No. Why would they be. But before I go on please explain to me what you think a low value man is?

[Asker]

low value man is a guy with no social circle, bad jobs, bad reputation, not invited to parties, unpopular, mentally unhealthy, and came from a bad family. and here's why l'm thinking that men who cold approach are low value. because if you had no social circle, you'd have no other choice but to cold approach, because if you did have a social circle, you could choose mates from within that social circle. same goes for reputation. a guy with a good reputation can just go around town, and people be like, oh there goes osmay, l heard he's a good guy. guys with bad reputation, people be like, oh my god, there goes roger vanvoorhees, let's get away from him. ln this case, roger would have to go to a neighborhood where no one knows him and try to cold approach, which is what l see with a lot of pick up artists.

[Opinion Owner]

Doesn’t mean he’ a bad person if he doesn’t have a social circle. For instance myself. I know this is anecdotal, but I don’t have a social circle. I don’t have friends that I go out w outside of work or things like that. I work in medical. Have done so for 10 years. Served in the military for 10 years. I donate to the wounded warriors charity as well as a charity for kids. The only circle I have if you want to call it that is my 3 brothers. Aside from that I don’t need a circle of friends to make me feel some how. I don’t need their approval or whatever to make me feel like a man. I’m secure in who I am. I’m resilient because I’ve been through a lot, survived a lot. I’m secure in making my own decisions about my life. I have friends who I talk to from the military that all live in different states or countries. But not in my immediate city or neighborhood. You can say that’s sad but I don’t need that. I’m content w my life. I met my girl at work, cold approach. We’ve been together for 17 years. I don’t need the social media of being accepted. A man, even a woman who doesn’t need that I secure in his or her ways that she they don’t need to seek the approval of others.

[Asker]

l dont think it's just social media. even back in the 90s, if you cold approached, people would spread rumors that you were a weirdo and creep, and word would get around, especially if you were a student

[Asker]

l didn't say you were a bad person if you had no social circle, but l said low value, meaning that if a female found out you had a large social circle, then she can meet people through you, and that would add value to her life, whereas a guy who didn't have a social circle doesn't

[Asker]

lt;s not about approval, it's about when a female looks at you, and says what do l get out of it. whats the incentive, thats why l said, if you're someone who gets invited to parties, then she can see value in that, and bring you along. however. even for me, if l see someone who came from a dysfunctional family, l'm discouraged by that

[Asker]

and the reason why cold approach tends to be done by low value men is because as l explained, the guys who have a social circle dont need to cold approach because theyre already meeting people regularly. men who have no social circle however, are meeting no one, and therefore forced to cold approach. men who have bad reputations are shunned by their peers, therefore go to other neighbourhoods to cold approach. men who are not invited to parties have no other options but to cold approach. men who get invited to parties can just meet people from parties. most men are not going to want to deal with rejection and therefore will not cold approach unless they have to. so it;s a last resort

[Opinion Owner]

So basically it’s all about the female as far as what value she can get out of you. Sounds like a lot of women these days. Sounds like you’re more about being socially accepted, getting to go to parties, building up your life as far as his contacts rather than an actual relationship. I wasn’t interested in a girl who had a social group, who had friends that she went out to party w. I picked a girl who was family oriented, who wanted to build a life together. Not a girl who was interested in what kind of social circle I ran around w. Maybe that’s why a lot of men these days don’t want to get married, let alone get into a relationship just in general. Some people just don’t find all the stuff you’re talking about that important. Doesn’t mean they’re a loser.

[Asker]

well l mean the female will be the ultimate chooser right? lf she says no then nothing happens. lt's not really about being socially accepted, but it's about having a good time. people want to go to parties on the weekends to enjoy themselves right? with the low value man, he doesn't know any parties, so the most that the guy can do is take her to dinner cause he doesn't know about any parties, and a lot of people enjoy the exciting atmosphere of attending parties. lt gives people a chance to meet a lot more people, and enjoy a group experience. this is something that a lot of people like. not being invited to parties doesn't make you a loser, but being invited to parties gives females an incentive to want to be around you. guys who cold approach aren't giving females an incentive to like them

[Opinion Owner]

Again this is about your happiness. One doesn’t have to go to parties to be happy or have fun. If that’s what you want that’s fine. I have always loved traveling. Sure I went to a few parties when I was younger but it’s all the same. I’d rather travel. You might think he’s a low value man for not going to parties but a lot of men tend to think women are low value for going to these parties. Works both ways. I don’t think so, that’s up to them. I just know when I was looking for someone I didn’t want a girl who was about partying. I wanted someone who wanted to travel w me, see things many people don’t get to see. Experience different cultures, food. I think more people would love that as opposed to most partying. If she’s only around me because she gets to parties then she’s not the type of girl I’d want. I think a lot of men would think the say because she’s looking more at what she can extract out of him rather than actually wanting to be w him.

[Asker]

u dont need parties to have fun, but you dont need diamonds, and gold either but for some reason they set those to high value, so l think the same can be done for men. as in men who come from good families, have good jobs, know a lot of people, have a good repuation, etc.

[Opinion Owner]

Ok. Was your boyfriend someone who was like that as far as having a circle, Abel to go to parties, things like that?

[Asker]

no, but l also dont go for cold approach

[Asker]

but when l meet new people, not from cold approach, men who have social cirlces catch my attention more. lt;s ultimately going to make a man look more attractive. like you may not go for a muscular man, but ultimately, it's going to make him look more attractive right? and muscular men are seen as more attractive than an avg guy. same can be said about the guy who gets invited to parties. you also have to remember, a lot of people have the fear of missing out. so they want to go to the party even if it;s wack

[Opinion Owner]

The funny thing is a lot of men don’t want women like that. A lot of men just want a girl who’s not into things like that. Who doesn’t have a following. Who isn’t always having to go out w her female friends. A lot of men prefer a girl he can live a private life w. We don’t want our lives on social media or all her friends knowing our business.

[OneViewpoint]

Most guys are nervous and waaay to invested. They try to go way too fast, stay way too long, and don't make it fun. Go in. Make her laugh so hard she chokes on her drink. Make your exit. Come back later and ask her if she's got that drinking problem under control. Stop and say good evening on your way out.

A few small contacts that are fun beats hanging around for 30 min until you are both uncomfortable with nothing left to say.

[Asker]

l've heard a lot of pick up artists say "she's just shy, and l need to talk longer so she can see l;m a likable guy". this is why alo tof guys end up going for 1/2hr if unstopped

[Static_In_The_Attic]

In life if you never try you will never know & in life if you like someone you shouldn’t be afraid to let them know. As for a cold approach it does work for certain people & certain generations as well. As for me I prefer a cold approach & in my generation people actually talked to each other face to face & over the phone instead of hiding behind technology & getting anxiety over ever flocking thing like people nowadays do.

[Asker]

there's a difrence between talking to people you've worked with for 2 months vs stopping someone in a park and saying, "l saw you from over there, and thought you were cute"

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Of course there is difference & as for me I don’t mix business with pleasure & don’t date my coworkers. My work life is my work life & my home life is my home life. A few days ago I was grocery shopping & a lovely lady caught my attention so I introduced myself & I gave her my number & yes we have been talking because of a cold approach.

[purplepoppy]

A women needs to feel she means something to you, that's not going to happen if your approaching one after another hoping for the best. I don't know if he's a doctor or just out of prison but I do know he's got zero respect for me.

The only societies that works in is where it doesn't matter what man you get because they're all the same.

[NicholasRedone]

@purplepoppy congratulations on the big 25 little purple. And also - I think the age gap matters a big deal between life stages and couples success when at the first flirt even lol - I think it's true what they say. The bigger the age gap, the more hell than its worth and an unpleasant hell effort at that 👿 for example me at 30, I probably shouldn't date anyone younger than 24. Perhaps 23 max lol 😆😂

[Lliam]

It depends on the location, circumstances, and the way the guy does it. Naturally, it also depends on if she finds him attractive and charming.

He has a chance if it's a public place with people around and if he doesn't get too close until she signals that she is comfortable. And he should start out with simple small talk instead of acting like he is trying to pick her up.

[NicholasRedone]

Cause it's freezing 🥶 you north Americans are in winter right now surely? Genuinely though if you as a man put out yourself into a woman's brain, you'd realise why it doesn't work. Unless a woman was interested and even then she may just not show feelings / choose to be like any man and move on as quickly as spotted

[Anonymous]

1, safety issues. it's creepy. 2, usually happens when i'm busy and going somewhere or have some place to be. 3, some people don't want to be approached and to be left alone. 4, the assumption that someone is single just because they are alone is ridiculous. 5, comes off as desperate. 6, you have no idea what someone is going through, so just leave people you don't know alone.

[monkeynutts]

It can work, depends on the guy, and who he approaches, it's probably got a lot to do with why some salesman are really good at making commissions, those pick up artists in the past got into trouble because they were too good at what they did, and also because they were psychopaths as well.

[Anonymous]

"what l meant are guys who don't have any social circle, good jobs, good reputation, are not invited to parties, unpopular, mentally ill, don't come from good families etc., something that would perhaps make a person seem appealing"

How would a woman know any of these ^ things about a guy who cold approaches her?

[Asker]

well thats why people usually choose mates they've known for a while because then they have a better idea of who has a social circle, good jobs, reputation, invited to parties, popular, mentally sane, and came from a good family. unless proven otherwise, there's no point in dating some random guy from off the street, because there's no way to prove you have a social circle, good jobs, reputation, invited to parties, popular, mental sanity, and came from a good family.

[Asker]

more specifically, there's no way to prove that in a 5 minute conversation, which is why cold approach doesn't work. all that could take months, if not years to demonstrate

[meepmeeperton]

It's just very difficult to pull off without coming off as invasive or creepy. It has to be executed correctly at the right place and time to come off as confident and charming. Or the guy has to be good looking enough lol

[Nikki1989]

But it does work. That is how my husband met me. All a man needs is some charm, charisma, and a sense of humour doesn't hurt either.

[PeachyPie93]

Cold approach works.. just don't be weird lol

[Asker]

lf it works wouldn't everyone be doing it

[PeachyPie93]

It does work.. I know guys not on dating apps that just ask woman for their number or whatever and they get it. It is this gen they are all cowards and scared to do anything but that is woman's fault for posting everything online to make them look stupid if they aren't attracted to them. So now men are making less effort since woman are pretty retarded now days.

[Asker]

how does getting a number mean that it works?

[PeachyPie93]

Because they made progress in getting to know that person by having a way to contact them and ask them on a date.. If they didn't like them they wouldn't give them their number.

[Asker]

lf l had a dollar each time a pick up artist asked for a number, and got no response. l'd be a milionare

[Asker]

ln all honesty, if you get a number, and get no response. that's the same as never approaching in the first place because the result is still you being alone

[Asker]

lsnt that the same as going for a job interview and not getting a job

[PeachyPie93]

Well the guys I know who done it get laid so I assume it works maybe not for losers but for good looking guys it works..

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I would reverse the question, why would a cold approach work at all lol?

[Asker]

let me play devils advocate. because people are lonley and want human companionship

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Well, while I believe that people are lonely, I can't believe the people we're talking about really seek for human companionship. Because these cold approaches I've seen do not emerge from interest in people. Instead I see intents to possess a new object, to pursue the never-ending consumer's dream, already advertised and sold by every companies. I can't see companionship here, because this relation is going one way only, a relation between a customer and a product, where the customer believes that the product will cure loneliness

[Asker]

l;m saying what if the person being approached is lonley, and is therefore willing to entertain the cold approach, even though it doesn't happen very often

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I suppose someone could find entertainment here, but which type because... As said above, I truly think this event is a one way connection, the one being approached doesn't matter in the equation

[Asker]

lt could if the one being approached was lonley. and there doesn't have to be a connection. maybe they just want companionship like a dog and his owner

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Hmmm the pet/owner thing is quite a somber concept when we're dealing with human beings

[Asker]

not really. people get pets for companionship, so why can't someone say, hey this random dude cold approached me, l could use the companionship even though there's no connection felt

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

People get pets for a _particular type_ of companionship, confusing that with an actual relation between humans sounds really off to me, disjointed. Yeah, maybe someone could want that, but this event is so far from my perspective that it's impossible for me to think of this situation as something feeling good lol

[Joshydavid25]

It's because not enough guys do it for women to be used to it and we've cultivated a strong distrust of strangers, especially men..

[Asker]

l went to a park where lots of pick up artists operate, and people in that park seem more defensive than on the street

[Joshydavid25]

Those Pick up artist must have ruined that park.. LOL.. Or those people just didn't wanna talk to anybody..

[Asker]

l actually asked a few people in that park that question and they said that if it wasn't in that park, they might consider talking to someone, but in that park they won't because of the wierdos who are in that park

[Joshydavid25]

Yeah those pick up artist suck.. But that's totally understandable..

[Asker]

well lm the same way though. l remember having some religious fanatics cold approach me asking about religion, and after that, anyone who came up to me, l would just dismiss them without hearing what they want to say, so l think it's the same for pua. lf you have 1 pua come up to you, then everyone after that, you;re just going to assume he;s a wak pua

[Joshydavid25]

I don't know, I've had a lot of weird people come up to me, and I don't really dismiss the next person.. I still give people a chance.. LOL.. But I can understand the caution..

[Anonymous]

It’s worked for me in the past. In just 3 minutes, I can pretty much grasp a lot about someone and if we have a enough chemistry to stay in touch or make plans to get to know one another better

[Opinion Owner]

For your update: you’re ridiculous

[beenherebefore]

I can only speak from personal experience. I do not want to be approach by any men period.

[Anonymous]

A cold approach rarely works cause unless you’re super hot most girls aren’t going to warm up to you without a little small talk first. And maybe not even if you are super hot.

[Anonymous]

It works. It just depends on the circumstances and behaviors.

[Anonymous]

It works if the guy is attractive and charming and the woman is single.

[Asker]

l observed a group of 10 guys who cold approached over a long period, and none of them ever got anything. some of the more "successful" ones said they got phone numbers but never a call back. meeting up with anyone from cold approach is out of the question

[Babygirl_S]

Balance works the best. Rude boys are a turn off. You have to babysit them and teach them how to keep the conversation going

[AaaAviii123]

Not sure, probably scared to make a genuine connection.

[Asker]

when has anyone had a genuine connection from cold approach

[Anonymous]

I don't like to be approached by people I don't know.

[LiamJHayden]

They work for me a bit more than 10% of the time.

[Anonymous]

It's because women assume the worst of men.

[Shiprex]

They're conditioned to believe men are interested only in sex with them and not that men are human beings with any interest in them as people.

[Asker]

dont forget about moving furniture, and carrying heavy things

[Shiprex]

opening tight jars, changing tyres, fixing roof tiles, plumbing, household and car maintenance

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Complete strangers suddenly coming up to talk to a person can feel dangerous.

[msg321]

If the guy is attractive it can work but if the guy isn't handsome it doesn't work.

[BonzoInBitburg]

It does work if you're friendly and nonthreatening

[PrettyCrumblBb]

Cos the person is a stranger

[Anonymous]

😆😆😆