How should I react to hot and cold behavior?

[Anonymous]

He can go weeks being OK, then suddenly WHAM... he goes cold towards me and only me. When i ask if he's ok he provides a lame excuse... but he's fine with everyone else. So I take it personal and assume he has an issue with me. but there's nothing I've said or done that would provoke such coldness. It's as though he hates me at times 😕

What's the best way to respond to it?

Updates

1 y

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[lightbulb27]

have to figure out his psychology and whats going on. or accept he needs space at times and just give support til he contacts again. I'd want to know what he's doing... in case there isn't full trust.

[Asker]

Thanks.

I have tried to talk to him but he always gives a lame excuse and becomes defensive, so I stop asking. He knows I'll be there for him and support him. So he either doesn't need or want my support or something is going on that he doesn't want me to know about.

I give him space , then he contacts me like nothings been wrong. Then after maybe a few weeks, he'll go cold again. It's so frustrating and causing me anxiety 😕 I just don't know what else I can do.

[lightbulb27]

I agree with your statement..."so he either...". Toughie. time ot go see therapist since it's causing problems. Understanding is what matters.

you are not being unreasonable here...

[Asker]

Thank you

[In_Trance]

Who is he? Some context would help get the answer you're looking for

[Asker]

Sorry, he's a guy I'm dating

[In_Trance]

For how long?
Have you slept together?

[Asker]

We've been together a year now

[In_Trance]

You don't communicate well with each other. Fix that before you go any further

[Asker]

I'm trying to. He won't communicate with me. I dint know what to do

[spartan55]

It would help to know who he is.

[Asker]

Sorry, he's a guy I'm dating. We've been together fir a year now

[spartan55]

You feel like a guy you've dated a year 'hates' you sometimes? Wtf?