What does it take for you to commit and stay loyal?

[Anonymous]

For me loyalty and commitment comes naturally as soon as I fall in love (or even as soon as I start developing feelings). But I am noticing a pattern in this current dating world - a lot people seem to be terrified of committing and are even struggling to stay loyal. I’m sure they have their reasons, it could be trust issues, fear of getting hurt, not wanting to settle, etc. So my question is, what does it take for you to commit and be loyal?

(Would love to hear especially from people who have cheated in the past)

[ohsheeT]

It a choice. Who do you want to be in life

When you're in a relationship, it's a commitment to yourself first.
And then a commitment to the person that you're with

Can you be honorable. Do you respect yourself?

Or are you selfish?

When we were born we were all given a gift and I gift is choice

We get to choose who we want to be in life.
By the things we do and say..

Do you know why there are bad people in life
Because it's easy to be bad to not care to take from others.. to be selfish. And only think of yourself.

It's a choice.

Being good is hard work because to do good things you have to care. You have to work at things to be come good them you have to think of others you can't be lazy

People in today's world don't care about who there are . They don't care if they hurt someone because it's all about themselves

So to answer your question
It's simple If you are in a committed relationship.
Then be committed

If you're in a relationship and you're not happy get out of it

If you feel the need.
To cheat get out of your relationship first
Because if you want to cheathere's something going wrong in that relationship for you to want to do that so just get out of it..

That's how simple it is Be honorable
To yourself and the person that you're in the relationship and the next person that you're going to cheat with

Being loyal is doing the right thing
First to yourself
Then to the person You're in a relationship with. By walking away from them because you're not happy. You're still being loyal

And then after you do that . then the person that you want to sleep with your starting out right because it's not cheating now

It's a choice

[Asker]

Love your take on this! You gotta start loving yourself and committing to yourself first before you can love someone else. And I agree, walking away when you’re no longer happy is definitely a form of loyalty (that sadly not a lot of people get)

[ohsheeT]

Thank you... and yes, I agree with you. I mean you have to try and keep it together.

But there might come a point it's better to just walk away. Life is just way to short. But while your trying to make someone else happy .. it's not going to work not unless your happy at the same time

[Anonymous]

Well first of I'm ALWAYS loyal. So it just takes EXISTING for me to stay loyal. But for me to commit to someone I have to feel they're committing to me. Being a guy I have a unique view to yours I think. Women inherently EXPECT men to take interest in them, pursue, them cater to them, keep them, keep catering to them. Problem is so few women today do anything beyond EXISTING to deserve that. And there is NO SHORTAGE of men who will compete for them for whatever his reasons are. Generally for his own ego. Well why would I want to pursue a woman who puts me on the same level as that guy and expects me to compete with that guy. If she cannot see my worth and see his b. s. she doesn't deserve my commitment.

In short it takes effort on her part.

[Asker]

Oh great point! I like how you distinguished between loyalty and commitment. Commitment is definitely earned while loyalty should be the basic standard.

[Opinion Owner]

I also feel like loyalty is kind of ingrained in a person. You're either a loyal person or you're not. Commitment I think is a choice. You may love someone, but let's be honest at times you may not always like them if you know what I mean. But because you love them you want to remain committed to them.

[Asker]

True, which might explain poly or open relationships. The main couple seems to be deeply committed to each other but they aren’t technically loyal to each other.

[Anonymous]

Takes someone worth it! Not saying I'm not loyal but nearly all guys drool over insta models while dating dreaming of those girls or porn.

So they are never loyal and until I know he is loyal I'm not committing to many times guys have mentioned can you look like this or wear this dress that SHE does...

It's not a magazine model for the dress it's usually a nearly naked porn or thot model.

Been so much easier being loyal to my girlfriend. We both love sharing cat pictures and doing insta together and snap chat. So we see what the other is looking at. Men hide Thier phones we share.

[Asker]

100% ! I don’t think those type of guys realize just how disrespectful it is to your partner to be drooling over other girls online. It’s embarrassing actually…

[Opinion Owner]

Nope and they get so offended if you try to tell them or explain how much it hurts emotionally.

They should be castrated! My sister's husband is doing this and she can't get him off. She is filing for divorce before her boys and girls are old enough to realize what he is constantly on.

Like my guy friend even tried explaining it but it's a new addictive drug. Really they are not that hot! It's the fantasy they make of these fake girls never nagging

[Asker]

I have no problem with those girls posting things online but I have issues with the men who are already committed following them or even going as far as paying for content… I think it’s disgusting behavior, I wonder how they’ll like it if their wives/girlfriends start thirsting over topless guys online

I’m so sorry that your sister is going through that. I guess her (soon to be ex) husband needs a lot of growing up to do. He’s not a raging hormonal teen anymore, self-control is hot

[DishLady]

I choose carefully because I know that I'm the type of person who only looks for committed and lasting relationships and friendships. I don't like folks who are just wasting my time. So I guess someone who is able and willing to build trust (which takes time) and be patient with my "slow burn" process of getting to know one another and walk along each other's life paths together... that's what it takes...

[Asker]

Very wise indeed. I think commitment is like respect, it’s earned and not given.

[NicholasRedone]

That she likes me and is a high value woman / lust is mutual. Otherwise it won't last. And left handers must stick together

[Asker]

Glad to know that you know what you want!

[NicholasRedone]

That means, so much 🥲🙂 thank you for your kindly saying so. Really 😋 lefties rule 🥳😅

[NicholasRedone]

Have an awesome week , lady , kindly 🎉☺️

[Anonymous]

It's not a problem for me to be loyal.

[Asker]

Love that! Loyalty should be the prerequisite for a relationship