What does it mean if you’re in an interracial relationship and your partner doesn’t defend you if someone makes a racial slur?

[Anonymous]

So it happened twice and I was extremely upset but she never said anything to them. I’m mixed and she was white

Updates

1 y

So it started to reveal a darker underbelly most of her family don’t like black people

[Anonymous]

There are A LOT of variables. It could mean anything from she doesn't care or just doesn't understand how to affects you, to you're overly sensitive.

We all feel what we feel when we feel it. It doesn't make us wrong for feeling that way. But we do need to consider the role we play in all of it.

To me it's pretty simple. I'd say something to her about it. Don't automatically assume she doesn't care. It's possible she doesn't even realize the slight. And you might get a different perspective by talking her. And if you don't, and she doesn't you might find you two are just not on the same wavelength. And it's better to know that now.

[Avicenna]

Well, there's a lot of potential variables here. It may, for example, not be her personality to go after such people verbally.

[frissyfrish]

What she did was not right. Who were you with? Could she have felt intimidated or pressured to conform?

[Asker]

So most of her family don’t like black people

[frissyfrish]

I don't know what was said or by whom. So I can't really answer that question.

But you should definitely make some time to tell her how much you were hurt by what was said and how shocking you found it.

[frissyfrish]

I dated a Black man and was called a snow bunny once when we met with his friends. So it does both ways.

[Anonymous]

What country are you from? It's racist every you but if you're living in India, Libya, South Africa or some broke ass country people are going to be like that.

The USA is racist but it depends on what state you're from. If you're in Alabama it's kind of expected, so I think she's just numb to it.

I would just break and move to Connecticut and find a new girlfriend if it's that big of a deal.

[Spencer10]

Damn. Not going to lie but I find that unacceptable. Now she may have felt a bit threatened but you and your girlfriend have to have a talk...

[slatyb]

Have you told her how you felt?