How long does it take for a girl and guy to live together when dating?

[Sugar100]

My dream is live with a boy, but I never had a boyfriend.
I’m older so I have no interest in meeting one time a week for silly coffee date , I’m ready for serious things.
Does it take one year, 3 months? How long do you need wait?

[SteveSmith1985]

This really does depend on the couple. The problem here is that... living with the man of your dreams, is great.

That's not who your first boyfriend is going to be. Odds are high that you won't choose the person who ends up being the right fit; the first time you think you've found the right fit.

I ended up living with a girlfriend for a year when I was like 24, and it was awful. She wasn't a nightmare girlfriend, she just wasn't the right fit, and living together after only being together for about a year before moving in together was a huge mistake. I still get teased about her occasionally.

I knew after a few months of living together... that it was a mistake.

There is a whole logistical nightmare on top of breaking off a relationship that isn't working when you live together. Inevitably.

The point is: there is no exact time. There honestly isn't. I lived with a different girlfriend for i guess 7 years and we moved in together about a year or so into being together as well (soon for most people by the way). That was fine. Things didn't work out for other reasons, but it wasn't a nightmare living with her.

It's great to be excited to live your dream of living with your boyfriend. I'm not trying to tell you not to dream that dream.

What I'm saying is, if you've never had a boyfriend, you haven't had the experence of being wrong about someone. Thinking they're right... and finding out they are most certainly not right. (in painful ways)

That's a terrible experience. It's common to almost everyone though. Everybody gets fooled by it at least once.

Don't be in a rush to live with your boyfriend. Make sure you take the time to make sure the guy really does seem like the man of your dreams. If your wrong, you have no idea what a nightmare it can be.

🙂

[YourExLover69]

Around 2 months. If you bit about guy already

[Screenwriter]

This is up to you and the person you're interested in. But just remember, living with someone is NOT a prequel to a long-term relationship, according to psychologists.

When people live with each other it IS just playing house. The rubber hits the road when a permanent situation occurs. Then people stop pretending.

Studies show that people become themselves in a relationship somewhere between six to 18 months, on average.

In that period of time you see the unfettered, unadorned person. No more rose-colored glasses, no more "honeymoon" going on.

Don't be in a rush to LIVE with someone. You can spend a lot of time with another person and keep personal space and time at your own places. You can do overnights and date each other EXCLUSIVELY. There is nothing immature or wrong with this.

The time on your own gives you time to evaluate where the relationship is going. Time to get over a disagreement, time to work on solo projects without interruption, which you will not have when living together.

Get to know a potential partner OVER TIME. I realize you're anxious because of your age. But you have plenty of time.

It'll be worth the investment to take your time.

[Sugar100]

It’s becuz the only guy I dated wasted my time it was 7 years we never met family, no living together , no baby, that’s y I’m in rush. I want experience a first relationship before I’m 30. I don’t want my 20s be in the trash. I’m not looking for a husband just a first boyfriend and live togetehr experience that once in my life for short term

[Sugar100]

Stupid dates to movie, eat, park I got tired of. I did that 7 years with that guy. I’m ready do serious things with a guy I fancy , it would make my life complete , short term is ok if I can’t have the guy I love forver I accept that

[Screenwriter]

It looks like you have your parameters outlined. That relationship was a waste of time. And not normal at all.

Most long term relationships mean you meet his friends and family as well as he meets yours. Something was wrong with that guy. Like he was hiding you from the people he knew. Sounds suspicious.

But this is no reason to be IN A RUSH. You might end up with a DIFFERENT negative outcome.

Your 20s aren't "In the trash." You've learned from that negative experience. If you're not looking for a husband, what I'm suggesting is don't rush into living with someone "for the short term."

When you move in with someone you are not only living with them, you are sharing finances with them, you are signing a lease with them. This entangles you to a degree that makes it hard to exit if the relationship goes south.

There is nothing wrong with dating a healthy person whose friends and family you DO meet and who you share a majority of your free time with.

But let this happen at a pace that is comfortable for both of you. What if he's not in a rush? Why this arbitrary "before you're 30" number? What if this doesn't happen until you're 32? Or maybe the man you meet doesn't WANT to move in until you're in a more serious relationship: engaged, or something else?

This is YOUR rush. You have to consider the other person in this equation. You don't want to pressure someone because YOU feel pressure. WHy don't you talk out these issues with a good therapist before you leap into your next relationship. You want to have a positive outcome that works for TWO people and that isn't a bum rush. Good luck.

[Sugar100]

Yea he was hiding me he was a fuckboy but before me he met a girl he loved and she got to meet his family and. Not me cuz he don’t love me. I still sad cuz she lived life I wanted , have a boyfriend once in my life and meet family. I really liked that guy.

I only meet guys I don’t like that want be my girlfriend. I never found mutual love where two people love eachOther. It’s always one sided.

[Sugar100]

I just fear the next guy will also waste my time and again I won’t meet families and my time will be wasted again.

That’s y I’m so in a rush.

[Sugar100]

Now my family think I’m weird and a lesbian as it’s 27 years no guy ever attended our parties. To them they never heard of a girl being rejected or unable get a boyfriend. They had perfect is just like one guy and magically they r married and perfect.

No one understands me. Instead they think bad stuff like I’m a whore having sex with 100 men , not serious.

When I’m the oposite , I’m waiting for a serious relationship, mutual love. No sex in 2 years sexless life. I think they r bad people that’s y they choose talk shit and make up lies of me. Instead of knowing the real story

[Screenwriter]

With your last comment, I sincerely suggest you speak to a good psychologist. Your family is unsupportive and negative. Find someone more objective who supports your search for a good partner and can give you suggestions on how to manage your family's negativity.

By 27 MOST men and women are seeking long-term partners and are serious about who and what they're looking for. I had that lesbian question asked of me by my mother. DIdn't have the whore question though. Egads.

Explain to them that YOUR time is far different from when they got married. And for yourself, ask your friends who KNOW YOU WELL to introduce you to people THEY like who might like you.

Attend barbecues and pool parties given by friends and family. Go to weddings. These are great places to meet people who, at worst, might become great FRIENDS and intro you to others who might like you.

SIgn up for MEETUPS, an online source of like-minded people interested in sailing, painting, talking politics, playing softball, volleyball, water polo, tennis and dozens of other hobbies.

Friends and family are the best source of meeting people. Groups where you're involved in a sport or hobby are good secondary sources to meet people you might be interestd in, or who can befriend you and intro you to others.

Join a book club if you like reading. Check out poetry and book readings at your local book stores. Often there are drinks served and you can discuss the books or authors there.

Even ASK YOUR PARENTS or SIBLINGS who they know to intro you to. Church picnics. Alumni associations. Any groups you belong to are sources of knowing new people who may be appropriate or who may intro you to others who are. Good luck.

[Sugar100]

My family refuse introduce me to a boy. My moms firends with one boy we live with but she don’t want play matchmaker. 🙁

Then it’s worse at family parties , EVERYONE has a man, a boyfriend , I’m all alone and look like a loser. I don’t go anymore.

All advice I’ve been given is church. I did meet last year a church guy that wanted be my boyfriend , marriage but it was a guy I DONT like at all.

It feels like a business deal to marry someone u have no interest in. I fear mutual true love don’t exist for me. And my destiny is settle for someone I feel nothing for.

[Sugar100]

Then my family talk shit as I want move out live alone , calling me whore, future doing down in trash, cuz they say a girl needs move out til she’s married. And worst part of all I’ll never get married so I feel stuck. As everyone left their family as they got marriage fast easily.

[Screenwriter]

Is there some sort of religious thing with your family. WHy are they calling you a whore? That is unacceptable.

I think you should move away from them if you are financially able. It sounds like financially you might be in a pinch, so that's why you're talking about moving in with a guy, to ease costs of living alone.

Forget that. You're going from one bad situation to a possible NEW bad situation.

Make it your personal GOAL to get as good a job as you can find and to find a closet you can live in ON YOUR OWN. If it's merely a postage stamp of a place, you need this.

Your parents have very odd, derogatory opinions about a woman having her own place. Do they believe a man living on his own is a whore? This is sexism at its worst.

You are too old to have to put up with this. Perhaps you can find a good roommate to live with. Start searching the want ads to find a better living situation. Forget about what I said about having your parents into you. That's not going to work.

What about friends? Please try Meetups. Great place to meet people with like interests. You like to sew? Sewing groups. You like to sail? Sailing groups! Softball, volleyball, political discussion group, book club group... I don't even KNOW all the choices because I've only been to a volleyball, softball and sailing group. Check out Facebook and Instagram too.

[Screenwriter]

Great places to make some new friends and perk up your interests.

Start looking today, so you can check out apartment shares, and examine your savings, and plan to save more so you can move out. This will likely take you a year. But there is light at the end of the tunnel.

You will leave and start a new life without the ugly, abusive criticism of your family. They are negative people who aren't helpful. I'm sad for you. But you know you need to leave. But NOT into someone else's house. Into YOUR OWN SPACE until you find someone appropriate for a long-term relationship.

All of this will take time. Maybe a year or two. Think of the long game and how well it will come out with planning and patience. Kisses and love and peace!!!

[princeofromance]

You need to stop rushing into things out of fear. Do not rush it, and you will find true happiness.

[Mrtcn01]

for me just 2 weeks at least 3 dates and one weekend holiday is enough..

[Samcandy1]

6 months. But it also depends on the comfortability of the relationship

[Sugar100]

That’s a. Long time

[Anonymous]

Depends on the couple, not every couple is the same.

[jahaims]

No set time obviously

[vj0090]

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