How do you get back into dating after years of being single without feeling totally lost or awkward?

[carenina]

[Salaciousrouge]

Ooooo! Man, here! And I like this question, esp from a female not in her late 20s or late 50s. You have jist the right amount of experience and confidence, in my opinion. If you are not looking for men, then hopefully these words will be useful to someone else.

Women of all ages, shape, and size have no problems finding men to date. You may not be comfortable doing so, but trust me, as a man on the other side of you coin, I found it exceptionally uncomfortable to date. I'm not broken, poor or ugly but it was outfight difficult to appeal to women who had even the slightest edge going for them. My fear of approaching them grew monthly until I gave up, then stumbled across my second wife. She practically had to court me!

Men (good men) don't care that you feel awkward or lost. They dont even care if you have a job! We are usually happy to have an opportunity to spend time with you. Understand that other single men close to your age may have an air of neediness around them. You should know this is temporary and should fade after a few dates. Dont play games and reach out when you feel.

I can assure you that whatever emotions or feelings you are experiencing, most single men are no different. Many men will have tried then been disgusted by dating apps. Go there if you want an ego boost. Ratios are 30:1 or higher and if you are even moderalty attractive men will fall all over you. I found most women's profiles were boring as shat, read like a job interview and often filled with demands. Write something fun, tell a story, make it a good read if you go this route.

Be nervous, be goofy, get food stuck in your teeth, spill a coffee, or bumble your phone. A good man won't care, notice how he reacts.

If he doesn't offer to pay for all, move on. If he does, accept it without conditions then offer to leave the tip, if you must. Oh, and we are all on to the "save me" phone call you prearranged with your boyfriend but use it if you must.

One last thing I may not convince you, but consider looking beyond the standard 2-3 yr 'acceptable' age gap. Why limit yourself? Being younger or older may provide you that bit of ego boost each situation offers to make you feel more in control. Older men are usually more secure, comfortable to be around, and will respect and admire your youth. Younger men have higher energy, different perspectives on life, and will have a level or regard you are not used to (and not in some creepy motherly way, some may think). Older women are usully less about game playing and more serious about a future. In my life I've dated long and short term, women as much as 20 years +/- my age without regret and with very positive outcomes. Find a good fit and good luck to you! Keep an eye open for the one who may not be in The front row of your audience.

[insatiable_curiosity]

I hear you. My 2 year relationship just ended a couple days after my dog died. It has been rough. Know that you’re a good person and there’s no rush.


Big picture stuff:
• It may really hurt right now, but you are going to be alright.
• You are a good person with skills, talents, and great things about yourself.
• Just put one foot in front of the other and get back to routines/support systems that really worked for you in the past.
• Rather than to focus upon what your partner may have done wrong, give yourself grace, don’t judge yourself, focus on yourself, learn from your mistakes, and do things that make you feel fulfilled.

• What things are you doing well right now? (Even it’s just that you showered, put clothes on, went to work/school)?
• Try new things. Seriously, try doing a few activities that are outside of your comfort zone whether you end up liking them. You may meet some cool people this way.


If you need someone to talk to, you can DM me if you’d like.

[SueShe]

Dating has not changed in decades, or ateast since the porn industry has taken over the way menperceive women. That perception was already in force when you were a teenager.

Men only want one single thing from a woman and you probably are aware of what I mean.

Now, if you are into same gender relationships, then that should be much easier for you.

However, if you are into serious relationships, then it will be a real challenge because males tend not to pay attention to women that have passes their mid-twenties.

Just be yourself and set very specific boundaries that you are not willing to go over. Good luck.

[PeachyPie93]

Just treat them as any other person you would talk to. Don't think of them as someone you have to romance or put on a show for. If you two get along it should just flow naturally and if not there is always next time.

[HawkPerception]

Literally just socialize and be yourself. You'll connect with some and you won't with others.

[Finchie40]

Just be yourself and show interest in people

[EzraIsShy76028]

Only one thing to do, like with anything else. Just practice, practice, and practice!!!

After years of being single your dating skills probably got worse due to lack of practice. But you gotta start to practice again!

Most important thing though, work on yourself first. No need to become the perfect person as that doesn't exist, but generally improve yourself. And I mean mentally, emotionally, and physically.

There are plenty of articles and videos online, as well as books related to this topic.

But in general, take care of your body and lead a relatively active life. Normally no one wants to date a lazy person who does nothing. And most people don't wanna date someone who is extremely overweight or underweight either.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

As for every journey it starts with one small step & as for you if you want to meet people you have to get out & greet people. In life if you like someone you shouldn’t be afraid to tell them & in life if you never try you will never know. As for being single also let it be known that you are single & if some catches your eye go talk to them.

Feel free to use my line. If Covid doesn’t take you out can I? Or you can always twist it around & say the following. If Covid doesn’t take me out can you?

Go have some fun & be yourself.

[diamond]

Go slow and be gentle with yourself. Start by getting comfortable with meeting people, don’t press. Focus on enjoying the conversations and rebuilding your confidence. It’s normal to feel awkward at first; most of us do! Just be yourself, set clear boundaries, and remember, flirting should feel empowering, not overwhelming.

[Communicationisking]

Serious opinion, go out have fun being yourself don't chase blokes ( dating apps never tried but f them ) let them come to you play it cool ie. chat get contacts of anyone interested and have a wing woman (preferably in a relationship) or man that will help you and give you honest clear opinions about the people you meet because sometimes the spark happens right from the moment you see them for the first time and a second opinion helps

[andreasderjuengere]

Quite easy: you update your dating app. You ''share, like, and follow' where ever it doesn't make sense. The more, the better.

You next memorize a few common interactive statements such as ''LOL'', ROFL'' and ''LMAO''.

Repeat them whenever you got nothing in context to say.

Even if you have no clue - others don't have one as well.

[Jove79]

Buy some nice outfits, try something different that you haven’t wore before. Socialize with guys you find attractive. When you see someone you are physically attracted to, ask him for his name and number, chat a bit over text to get to know him more, and ask him out on a date for coffee

[Spencer10]

Just jump right in. No other way in my opinion. Be honest with your dates and yourself that its been a while. Keep your expectations realistic. Its a crazy dating world so also maintain a good sense of humor as well.

[Anonymous]

At 41 you're kind of old. Why would you feel lost. By 41 you should kind of know who you are. And HOPEFULLY you're mature enough to be past the game stage. So if this be the case why be awkward? Either someone wants to get to know you or they don't. Either you got things in common or you don't and if they don't. Tell them to keep it moving.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I didn't notice any substantial change in dating recently. I still see people getting to know each other, a fraction of them are still awful, a lot of them are just normal and a fraction of them are amazing?

[strateguy632]

As someone said before me, "just do it" start and remind yourself you already know who you are and what you want. Then you won't feel so awkward.

[notadumblonde]

You will feel lost and you will feel awkward. Trying leaning into it. The guys your dating were most likely single for years as well.

[molonski2]

I doubt you will have a problem , just take it easy , be yourself , enjoy the interaction and see how it goes , no pressure.

[DryGermanGuy]

„Like a midget at a urinal, I was gonna have to stay on my toes.“
- Lt. Frank Drebin, The Naked Gun

[Shiprex]

Go out and ask someone you have a slight attraction to if they'd like to have a coffee or lunch or something easy to write off or move on with

[glennos89]

Its getting awkward for sure. But you will need to step out of your comfort zone if you wanne meet someone else

[RingOfFire]

I think the key there is to take it slow. You don't have to go for romance right away you can go for friendship. Go to social events where you can meet someone.

[DrPepper12]

I'm reminded of this quote, "there are many ways to enter a pool, the stairs is not one of them"

Whether you jump or dive is up to you but launch yourself...

[Babebytheshore85]

I hate to break it to you but unless you look really good it will be hard for you. Men are generally interested in older women

[Shihab_91]

Are we? I thought most of men likes younger girls

[Cormac995]

I'll let you know when I fumble my way into figuring it out.

[bowenw]

Try speed dating if it is available in your area to get some fast experience with strangers.

[Nikki1989]

Take some time to rediscover yourself as an individual. The rest is easy.

[MannMitAntworten]

Just do it. Many are in the same boat. You aren’t alone. You will be fine.

[Likes2drive]

Baby steps, it’s just a slower process to get into again but you will remember what to do again

[SolitarySolace]

Who the fuck would want to date in today’s climate?

[WonderingManII]

I am 46, and never dated, so I can't give good advice on this one.

[Danny_dan92]

No clue. I’m never getting to that point ever again honestly

[zagor]

If you figure it out there's money to be made in writing a book.

[Hdeesggh]

Just go with the flow and know what you want

[dragoblack]

Take the dive, put yourself out there, keep up your hygiene and be yourself.

[Professor-college]

Well I been alone for more than 4 years so I don't feel like I need to be nervous about getting back to meeting someone

[Anonymous]

I wonder the same, I actually never had a date :(

[robocop666]

talk to lots of people of the opposite gender to get used to it.

[Rahul_44]

Just meet new people, socialise and that’s it, easy.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Makes friends.
date a best friend.

[exitseven]

Remember that everyone has to start somewhere.

[bddddd]

Avoid apps. Otherwise you are good to go.

[Anonymous]

Jump in and hold on.

[jahaims]

You're 41. Just die alone at this point

[chocolatetwopointo]

js date? whats the big deal?

[Panthero80]

Are you engaged?

[Anonymous]

Tinder.

[Aldan1609]

Just do it

[Jmmmfi4]

Wish I knew

[eagle1951]

beats me

[CaptanHellams]

I wonder this too