How does one get back into the dating scene in there 30's?

[Anonymous]

i feel like the dating scene is very unaccessible rate now for me. i realise there is dating sites and other singles out there. but i never really get any dates and haven't even talked to that many girls lately. although i had meet some girls during the summer but didn't really date any of them.

not sure what to do and my city isn't really that big 20,000 so not sure how many options there are locally but it always seems like everyone is already seeing someone here

Updates

1 y

is a couple things i'm doing or plan to. first was going back to the gym for Oct , more for something to do. also going through my clothes and donating some old stuff i don't wear , to determine what new clothes i need

[Avicenna]

Your 30s is actually a good time to meet women (and women in their 20s will usually date you). Find ways to meet them, at events in which you have a common interest. It kind of depends on you and what sort of woman you want to meet.

[Asker]

my area sort of a challenge though being a smaller city , some of the girls i've meet have been with the same guy since high school. this server at my pub i liked but she's been with the same guy for over 5 years and they meet in high school she'd be in her early 20's. but the idea of dating anyone else be so foreign to someone like her , she's likely never even slept with another guy yet alone been on a date with someone else

my parents suggested volunteering but i'd have to drive 20 minutes and it be time consuming and really not sure who i'd meet there

[Avicenna]

You have to be opportunistic and sometimes be willing to talk to women randomly. Volunteering doesn' t sound like a bad idea- if nothing else, it will help widen your social circle and you might meet someone through someone else.

[Asker]

i get what your saying , have talked to other girls this year. a lot i would of meet at restaurants or bars , some of them staff obviously and some customers.

do plan on going back to the gym soon , but it doesn't offer any group classes or such , talked to a couple girls there when i was a member earlier this year but not a lot

[Avicenna]

Meeting a woman can be a totally random thing, so that's why you have to be opportunistic. Maybe be a bit flexible geographically as well.

[Asker]

yeah i guess thats true , is another town nearby ( 16,000) but i literally never meet any girls there and not entirely sure why either

my area also tilts older , a lot of seniors / retirees here so not really a great place to meet someone younger

looking back wish i had spent some time somewhere like a college area when younger even just to get some experience as the options a lot better and easier to find. well i still went to college but it was a smaller college not an actual university in a major city.

[Avicenna]

Don’t look back, look forward. Id say anyone within an hours driving time isn’t too far

[Asker]

i've had that though too lately that i need to move forward with things , which is why i've been trying to work on different things and come up with some ideas for the weeks ahead.

i'm open minded on this search and realise it may require me to leave my comfort zone , talk to different people or attend different things. i have a pretty good idea of the type of girl i'd like to meet but in an area with limited options its tougher to meet people

[Avicenna]

So expand your geographical reach to an hour's radius

[Guy13]

www.meetup.com is place to start

[Asker]

never heard of that site before , know there is a lot of sites out there that offer different things

not one to have any luck on dating sites although realise they might still offer some options

[Guy13]

look at the site... I do not do online dating.

[Asker]

it won't let me search my location i live in Ontario, its showing stuff for NY. get what your saying this is a site to find events and such at as a way to network and meet new people

[Guy13]

That sucks. Let me ask Dazzi…. I’ve got a work peer in Ontario 😎

[slatyb]

Online dating worked well for me.

[Asker]

i tried that a few years ago but it never really worked , and matches were from too far away especially with gas prices even higher now than they were back then. i couldn't see driving an hour each way being a realistic option