Is a 15 yr age gap a big deal when it comes to the woman being older?

[CorneliaUSA]

Me 38 and him 23. Is there attraction? Yes. But I'm too scared to try. We haven't done anything. Not even kiss. I refuse. And he won't give up. I know I don't look my age. Every person ever guesses me 10 years younger than what I am. And he acts very mature. I've always dated older men and it never works out. My friend told me that I should date younger. How much "younger" is appropriate? I feel like it shouldn't be more than a 10 years gap. So what do I do about him? I read that there is some formula for age gap. Half your age plus seven. Which means at this point a 12 year gap is acceptable by societies standards. Do you agree? What's your opinion about how I should handle him, and what is an acceptable gap?

[ChicoFromThe305]

I think you'd have to calculate everything here, family opinions from both sides, you have to read the person and make sure their intentions are pure as well, they can just like how you look and if this is new and he's already trying to have sex with you it can show that his intentions are for your appearance, if you looked any older would he have been interested, he's younger, does he want children because when a woman hits thirty a timer starts of about 5 years before pregnancy can be more complicated because it's when the chances of healthy children starts to decrease, if he does want children is 5 years enough to marry you with everything else that comes with that, for a long lasting healthy relationship, I believe there's a lot to consider, not just if everyone is fine with the age gap because an age gap can really complicate things in general, something else I've thought of that I personally thought of that I wish I didn't is if you end up aging enough where you aren't looking your best anymore and he's still younger and hasn't reached that point yet will he remain loyal if he's attractive a higher rate (possibly younger) women.

[Anonymous]

If I’m being honest, maybe it’s not the best pic but you do look like you’re in your 30s. As for the age gap, it could possibly work out. My girl is older than me by 7 years. We’ve been together for 17 years. I don’t know how would be if she was 15 years older than me as in your case. I’ve never heard of this formula you’re talking about. Let’s hope he really wants to be w you and this isn’t just a fetish as far as younger men wanting to bang older women. I know I did. I was about his age when I got with this lady who was 43. It was never something I really wanted as far as an actual relationship. I liked it cause she cooked for me. We had. Almonds. She taught me a lot. Then that was it. I was just having fun at the time.

[Anonymous]

People have done all age gaps, now and throughout human history so nothing is off-limits. Look at Belichick and Pacino and DeNiro and David Foster. The typical number is 20 years, but several are 40 or 50 years or more older.

[Anonymous]

I'd see it as a red flag of anyone in their late 30s who would want to date someone less than 25.

Studies have proven The larger the age gap, the shorter the marriage.

[OneViewpoint]

Well at 23, he should be 95% of the way to becoming an "adult". Not all are. But where do you draw the line legally, morally. Is it 25? 30? 35? Why? How did you pick a 10 year max age gap? What expert came up with half your age +7? Or is that someone's morality in a bogus math equation for simpletons.

Is the problem here really your concern about what other people will think about you fucking a 23 year old guy? There's no legal concern. Afraid you'll look pathetic? Afraid you'll look like a cradle robbing horny Milf? Who cares what others think. Yeah it may not last... different phases of life and all that. Go get you some young cock! Just be good to each other. You may both learn from each other.

[CorneliaUSA]

I keep telling him his brain is not done developing yet. He's been after me for 3 years now. We are very kind to each other. Mostly we just hang out and talk for hours. He's younger and attractive and can get any girl he wants, but he refuses to let go of me. Swears high and low he fell in love with me the day he met me. Looking pathetic - No. milf... Only for those who know my age. Apparently I look 28. LOL. Which gives the illusion of a 5year age gap. And OMG on the young cock. You really made me laugh. But I've been saying NO. But like I said, it's been three years, so I'm starting to wonder whether I should consider it. He very grown up for his age, also very dominant personality and, well I'm the soft and calm personality. And trying my best to stick to my NO. But it's getting harder. He has even talked about marriage! If the family wasn't in the way he would have already tied me down. Anyways. I've been saying no, but I'm starting to reconsider. Maybe he just needs to bang one out and then he'll be over me.

[RavVid]

I know a couple that have just broken up. She taught his best friend at school - not sure how many years older that makes her. Maybe 20.

It does mean that it is unlikely there will be children and that is why he dumped her. A 15 yo age gap would be similar and a big deal in that respect

by the way we have pretty good data due to marriages and since all married couples have dated, it is reasonable to take married age gaps to be dating age gaps.

It is heavily biased with the guy being older though most are much the same age. It is highly unusual for the wife to 5+ years older but whilst not common it is not unusual for the husband to be 10+ years older - about 10% of marriages have this age gap.

[Zack-Bann]

In what universe are you 38?
Are you kidding


I know 25 year olds that could pass for your mother


And yeah the gap is big which does bring challenges
But it’s definitely doable and many people do it

[CorneliaUSA]

LOL. Thank you. That's a nice compliment. Yes, I'm blessed looks wise. But also, I take care of myself. And thank you for your comment.

[Zack-Bann]

I’m glad you’re flattered because I’m simply stating a fact ;)

I don’t know what you ended up doing but I definitely know Mr 23 is one lucky kid

[CorneliaUSA]

I haven't done anything about the matter yet. I'm still pondering about it. This is a very tricky situation, I, the older one, will definitely get the whipping for this.

[Zack-Bann]

If he was a teenager that’s certain
But he’s 23. An adult

At his age I got involved with a 44 year old woman. It’s still one of the healthiest relationships I’ve had so far

At no point was I her “victim”

And she definitely wasn’t as youthfully charming as you are

Not saying there’s a right answer
But I would suggest doing what YOU feel like doing not what other people think you should do

[Bricealan]

@corneliausa Best possible... you being older, provide some stability to what might otherwise be 'rocky'

[EmmiL]

There is a power imbalance in her favour. It's never a good relationship.

[CorneliaUSA]

You are correct. He had a very rocky up bringing.

[EmmiL]

@corneliausa by your own logic you'll be taking advantage of him because his brain isn't developed. You said that

[Bricealan]

@EmmiL Not true... read marriage and divorce stats. A marriage with a woman being 13 years older than the male is most successful. That is ' a fact' - not based on 'editorial opinion'. Women live longer than men also, and that is a fact

[Bricealan]

@corneliausa Proceed on factual information, not based on someone's 'opinion'. Marriages with an older woman/ younger man are more likely to succeed... Has not a DAMNED thing to do with 'power imbalance'... Women make better decisions on important matters

[EmmiL]

@Bricealan where is this fact? From what I seen they don't last and most men do not marry or date long term so much older women. Women don't make better decisions, that's just bullshit, it depends on the person.

I said power imbalance because usually the older person has more experience and can use it against the younger to control them. There is also financial imbalance, although doesn't have to be.

You don't like it obviously, because you are obsessed with older women x young men, but what I just said is often pointed out when a much older man dates a young woman, and it's the same if the guy is the younger one.

[Bricealan]

@EmmiL Take a look at the "Bureau of Marriage and Divorce Statistics - a government agency

[Bricealan]

@EmmiL he Bureau of Marriage and Divorce Statistics in the U. S. is primarily provided by the U. S. Census Bureau and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

The U. S. Census Bureau offers data on marital status, including age, sex, and race, as well as median age at first marriage1.
The CDC publishes detailed statistics on marriage and divorce rates at the national and state levels, including trends and comparisons2.

[CorneliaUSA]

Yes. I'm his pease zone.

[Billlewis]

That generally depends on which one of them has the money, in my experience.

[CorneliaUSA]

Despite his age, he's already doing very good for himself so his income is higher, and he's also way more dominant than I.

[Vegasrunner]

Typically something is lacking in the man if he is stuck with dating older women. Usually they do this because older women equate to being easier.

[CorneliaUSA]

3 years of say NO... Is not being easy.

[Vegasrunner]

@corneliausa That kind of proves my point. If he's settling for an old women who rejects him he probably doesn't have any other options. Whats ironic us you woukd think more young guys would date old women as both typically have the lowest sexual market value.

[Ariesman81]

Have your fun, but you'll probably get sick of being mommy. You two are in totally different seasons of life so a relationship should be out of the question.

[EmmiL]

Its not good. There will be problems down the line, he will likely leave you for a young woman. Keep it casual only.

[CorneliaUSA]

Despite my beauty now , I'm also aware it will fade and then he will leave.

[nastyb]

@corneliausa @emmil
if he didn't want an older woman, he wouldn't go for her right now. He would have gone for a 19 yr old. There are some men out there who are only attracted to older women

[nastyb]

@corneliausa

any man can leave you once you lose your looks, he doesn't need to be 23 years old. He can be 50 years old and he can leave you once you lose your looks.

[EmmiL]

@nastyb @nastyb I never heard of such men, all men have at least some kind of varied attraction. And what you said about the 50yo man is true, but it's more risky with younger because of the different life stages and life experiences.

[nastyb]

@emmil

you must live under a rock to not know there are men who are attracted to older women

[MannMitAntworten]

Whatever you are ‘both’ comfortable with is all that matters. It is your relationship and no one else’s. You love who you love…

[DarKnight36]

Even scales are equal to each other

Because I don't want him to stand next to me like a brother.

[EmmiL]

What does this even mean? Makes no sense

[LiamS95]

15 years is a pretty big gap there may be an emotional maturity lack, you don't look much older then 30 and you're quite gorgeous.

[MasterKS]

Thats pretty normal gap, i dont think any issues there.

[Nauorbb]

I’d think so

[Anonymous]

He just wants to fuck you

[EmmiL]

This

[PaleDale]

Nope.