Which quality do you most value in selecting your woman?

[lightbulb27]

Beauty/Looks/Appearance

Character/Values/

Wisdom/Alignment of interests

Other

[Summeroflove]

Character and values really says it all. I have a very good BS detector. Is it perfect? No it’s not. But someone can spend all their time making themselves look really good and on the inside be a nasty person. People age and looks eventually fade I don’t care how beautiful someone is on the outside if someone makes you miserable you will eventually have enough of it.

Is there men who tolerate shitty behavior from women simply because they look good? Yes unfortunately this happens a lot just like many women tolerate shitbag men for some reason or another. You can try to advice someone to leave a relationship but you have to let them learn that lesson you can’t control them. I don’t want to say someone deserves what they get but after a certain point. When you been beat on, cheated on, and you’re still white knighting her poor choices. There is deeper issues going on.

[HawkPerception]

I know it's not any of the options you provide, but I'd choose similar views & interests. If they have the same views and interests as me, it encompasses so much.

It means they care about their physical health and appearance

It means they're deep thinkers interested in the same things as me, so we'd never get bored talking about our shared interests or participating in them together.

If our views are similar it means she values the same things in a partner. It means we won't argue often about politics or how to raise kids. We would desire the same kind of relationship dynamic, etc.

Similarities are the key for me

[Anonymous]

Men are visual creatures. They WILL go for looks. And many of them will tolerate behaviors they normally wouldn’t depending on how hot the girl is. If it’s just too much then they will pass her on but will go for the next one for looks as well and then check if personality matches his expectations. It will never be the other way around because if he’s not sexually attracted it won’t work.

Ones voting for that KNOw themselves they’re lying. Even if they argue and get angry, they know they will always go for looks. If one doesn’t work, the next one will also be because of looks. That’s FACT.

[lightbulb27]

Thanks and your view is reasonable. I think it goes both ways. Generally.. we are visual. Many will go for looks... when they suffer, they might change those criteria. As time goes on, we may accept looks we wouldn't have before as we value behavior/peace/stress/enjoyment more.

We are complex creatures and so even a modest looking woman can win many times, with the right skills. But it can be very frustrating to navigate the dating world.

[Summeroflove]

Number one not all men are the same the same as not all women are the same. There is plenty of women out there who for some reason or another tolerate poor behavior by men as well.

But absolutely this is sadly common as well. But you can’t help someone who just doesn’t want to see it. Looks eventually fade for the men who are just lustful they get what they deserve.

[Summeroflove]

It’s like saying all women want is riches and everything else. People on the dark personality spectrums can’t form genuine relationships so you’re correct.

But there are people who do seek valuable relationships and will put their foot down to these types of people no matter how good looking someone is. That’s why these type of women no matter how hot they may appears on the outside never get men who truly have self respect. At least not in the long game

[blackeagle007]

Last time I checked, women are the same, looks is # 1 with them

[nastyb]

its crazy how people assume this is only unique to men but not women. women need physical attraction too. Vast majority of us

[blackeagle007]

@nastyb that’s my point. Looks I feel is more important to women

[lightbulb27]

@blackeagle007 Im not so sure about that from what I've seen. It can be to some... like how guys dress seems more important than their physical attributes. I see women valuing security and the mans achievement more than anything else. Guys translate that to looks. Plenty of videos showing how women will go for an unattractive guy that projects a certain stature.

[nastyb]

@blackeagle007

looks are way more important to men. For women, if a guy is unattractive he can make up for it by either money or personality.

[nastyb]

@lightbulb27

women go for looks, money or status.

if you have any one of these, you will do better in dating.

I don't know why men always think looks mean nothing to women.

attractive guys have women hitting on them everywhere they go. Plain average looking dudes have no idea cuz they've never been approached

[Chocolatetwopointtwo]

i love how all women said men go for looks and men keep denying it💀

[blackeagle007]

Usually it’s women that only go for looks. You all have unrealistic standards in men.

[Chocolatetwopointtwo]

riight. men are more likely to leave women who get cancer bc they think her loosing all her hair is ugly. did u know that? and women r the ones who care more about looks?💀

[blackeagle007]

I have a PhD in women studies. I know more than you do about women. Try again.

[Chocolatetwopointtwo]

why did u get a PhD in women studies?💀 LMAO YEAH RIGHT. he says to an actual woman💀

[MrOracle]

LOYALTY.

And morals and values.

I think my girlfriend is beautiful but I'm sure plenty of people don't. I'm not with her to impress anyone in that way.

Morals and values are what create the foundation for a relationship to be able to survive. No amount of looks, money, or status can replace or compensate for a lack of morals and values.

[Lliam]

I selected character/values. But I wouldn't even consider her if I didn't first find her physically appealing.

I'm not all that concerned about character and values initially. I'm interested in looks, mannerisms and personality - sexual appeal. When it comes to dating, my primary motive is great sex, not necessarily marriage.
But if, after getting to know her better, it turned out that I didn't like her character or values, I wouldn't consider her for marriage because those things are essential for a lasting relationship.

[Shiprex]

Seems like the women here on GaG are wholly ignorant of what men are like and what they want. Perhaps further reasons for why they're the ones quitting marriages because they don't know how to please and keep a man interested in them

Character and personality are far more important to men because they know the image and appearance is all for women's own personal preference and not for them even though it's something nice to look at. Sure image GETS the attention but SELECTING THEM to screw and selecting them as yours aren't the same. Maybe the girls here are in that first part with the liberation of women movement they chomped in to.

[Anonymous]

Men who choose so-called "character and values" always prefer women with good looks in real life. Look at the contradiction. 😅

[Zack-Bann]

The two are usually linked
Having a strong character and good values usually leads one to take card of themselves because they understand that healthy mind and body go together

So yes you are correct

Character and values is pretty much the equivalent of good looks

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, men are visual creatures. First, they admire the appearance of a woman. Then comes the character and values ​​of a woman. You don't even look at the face of a woman whose appearance you don't like. Now let's sit crooked and talk straight.

[BarryLiverstone]

Just like women will not consider a guy in a romantic sense if he’s not attractive. Character only factors in if she’s into how he looks

[Opinion Owner]

Women are emotional beings, not visual. They will fall in love with even the ugliest man who cares about them. :)

[Zack-Bann]

I gotta side with Barry on this one
Women might fall for a guy who’s not a looker at times but the general case looks play into it

I know a guy who’s not at all a looker
And the rejections he gets as soon as he says hi would give even you second hand embarrassment

[Opinion Owner]

Okay Zack. You may be right, but I'm just trying to say this: men care more about appearance than women do. I think you can't deny that.

[Zack-Bann]

I think it’s a misconception caused by the fact that men don’t hide their attraction to appearance as much as women do.

The reality is both men and women care about appearance equally it’s just not always socially acceptable to admit that especially for women

[naartjie]

Zack is incorrect. It’s a tactic men like to use by saying women do it too. Yes women do but the number is SIGNIFICANTLY smaller than for men. More often than not men are actually the less attractive one in their relationship anyway.
Men say they’re more visual people and it’s in your dna but then when we say you care more for looks then you say the opposite. Just like how men will gaslight and manipulate women into thinking they’re jealous and insecure when he’s liking OF girls photos or ogling at any women he can.
So, I’m going to stick with what you men say, if you’re such visual creatures then I beg to differ that looks are not important.
Most men want a hot girl on their arm. Back when men were buying playboy like there’s no tomorrow, naked posters on their walls, porn addicts these days…

[naartjie]

Statistically and if we’re going based off our dna or the nature of our gender then yes actually women are the ones who will still love an unattractive man, not men. Don’t let these men lie to you. It’s time we start calling out men especially when they blatantly lie and manipulate.
Just like when you know a guy is cheating, you confront him with proof and he still denies it. That is literally what’s happening now.

[Opinion Owner]

@naartjie 🧡💛💜

[Zack-Bann]

@naartje
While I respect your opinion even though you’re choosing to dismiss mine without even knowing who I am I do need to point out:

You’re wrong.
About all of it.

This is a projection of what one or a few men might have done to you or your friends
It’s what is called selection bias:
Making a generalization based of a limited subset of examples

And men have been a victim of that for years now.
And I personally no longer tolerate it even passing.

Because I didn’t lie
I didn’t gaslight anyone
I didn’t even provoke anyone

I simply told the asker how it is. The plane old nuanced truth
That men and women are NOT different

And yet you felt the need to interject and spew the tired old man-hating arguments we’re all tired of hearing

And as always without a shred of proof to back anything up

[naartjie]

@Zack-Bann I don’t care what you have to say or if you respect my opinion or not. I also don’t care to get to know you nor am I obligated to.
I said what I said and no its not based just from personal experience but when you go online and see how many women make TikTok trends about all the lies guys come up with when they’re caught cheating- they’ll never admit to it and they’ll never admit to anything that calls them out for cheating or lusting over others. Is the way it is.
Women know how men are, we aren’t dumb, we have eyes.
Yes you can say what you want but actions speak louder than words and men’s actions have shown us. It’s why women are talking so much more about how men so openly cheat and most relationships nowadays there’s cheating and women have to just ignore it.
Unfortunately I don’t care what you have to say so I’ll leave it at this!
Also, men and women are VERY different.

[lightbulb27]

this is why online is just a terrible way to communicate...

[Zack-Bann]

@lightbulb27
Yeah usually I know it and try to avoid getting into intellectual arguments with low IQ individuals but in this case I didn’t even address that girl she came at me all on her own

And the irony is I wasn’t even saying anything against women
Just pointing out how we aren’t that different

And she couldn’t accept even that.

But the back and forth is pointless really. She’s wrong and nothing can convince her so might as well leave it here

[lightbulb27]

@Zack-Bann yes, it's much better to sit at a bar and get drunk and laugh about it than try to pound square peg into round hole.

[Zack-Bann]

Damn that escalated quickly.
Not saying we should give up on socializing with people either

It is what it is, the world is full of all kinds of people
Just find the round peg

[lightbulb27]

@Zack-Bann not fully blaming her, just observation discussions go defensive quick. if the group was dancing, people be on the floor bleeding...

[lightbulb27]

communications is a dance of life...

[naartjie]

End of the day I’m right about this, @Zack-Bann typical npc with no brains etc. Go cry somewhere else. This is an app to share opinions, not change a persons opinion. Trust me, your words do nothing to my opinion but show me even more how careless and selfish the majority of men are. Good day!

[Zack-Bann]

App about sharing opinions ≠ app about hating me

You can do that one your own time

But you come at me
I come at you 😉

[blackeagle007]

@naartjie young lady, just down and chill. That’s an order. Have some respect for men.

[DishLady]

@Zack-Bann No. Looks have nothing to do with character. youtu.be/rvO6RUpwgHw?si=kCIIJ_qQtkv65Lba&t=70

[Zack-Bann]

Thanks @DishLady for actually bringing it back to the question at hand
For some reason more and more people just wanna tear each other apart over genders instead

As for the video you sent: I get the point they’re trying to make but I should point out this a movie and movies are notoriously horrible at depicting how the real world works in terms of relationships

Hollywood spent years convincing us that true love can always prevail and prince charming always finds his queen and all those tropes. Real life isn’t like that.

Yes saying someone has a good personality when asked how attractive they are is usually alarming
But personality is not exactly the same as character and values

My whole original point is: if you have strong values such as work ethics. The importance of health. Good spendings habits. Kindness and generosity when needed and firmness and determination when required.
It will manifest in how you look.
It will impact your wardrobe choices.
Your hygiene habits
Your workout routine
All put together will make you a more attractive person

And that works for both men and women alike

[DishLady]

@Zack-Bann (First, as a rule of thumb, just block the trolls on here. It makes the G@G experience much less toxic. Next...) What you're describing is a VERY boring sort of creature. No one wants to marry or partner up with a perfectly pragmatic person in real life... There has to be a little room for adventure, creativity and more. Kindness has nothing to do with looks... Spending habits don't make your features more or less attractive... etc.

Attraction IS both physical and mental, partially based on reality and partially based on imagination -- specifically how the view imagines the subject will fit into their lives. Is it perfectly logical? Nope. But it's true.

[naartjie]

@blackeagle007 fuck no🤣 and I love men but not ones who are like you.

[naartjie]

@Zack-Bann you sound retarded😉 i mean where did I say I hate anyone?🤔 you got mad problems man. Congratulations on being a 🐑 like most of other people nowadays! Good job buddy! Nothing you said stands anyway. Men can say one thing but their actions speak louder. I won’t entertain this further as I’ll like to speak with more switched on people.

[blackeagle007]

@naartjie first off. This is my thread. I’m in charge here. Secondly, you’re calling me ugly. They proved women judge men all by looks. You don’t know what I look like

[lightbulb27]

@naartjie didn't know this post would start a fire storm. I agree with some of what you are saying, most of it. I think there's nuances though that are beneficial. Yes guys are visually triggered and seek best appearance. Girls know that. But all dating is a sales job... convincing the other of ones merits. Guys/girls can tilt the deck their direction regardless of looks. Beauty is well understood but attraction is in the eye of the beholder... ones references in life whom they were drawn to, some genetic predisposition and opportunities? I see attractive women without and less so attractive ones with mates. We see ourselves differently... someone good looking may not think they are. I've seen guys suffer with hot looking women but messed up relationships. They learn... we all do. So we learn to seek other attributes, although the dna wiring is always there for visual /physical pleasure, stress pain and emotional pleasure counter balances it.
something like that.
I've always been drawn to women that "project" in a certain way... not just physical looks. That is valuable for women to know... like a light bulb, they can overcome external using internal emotional radiance.

[NathanDavis]

smart, interesting, and funny...

things like values, morals and character... I consider those a given, and also basic decency, without those I wouldn't even consider any possibility there

[OneViewpoint]

It's not one or the other. It's a balance of looks, values, and wisdom. Plus a sense of humor, curiosity, a passion for life, a tolerance for risk, and a need to have fun.

[naartjie]

9/10 men go for looks. Don’t be fooled if they pick any of the others.

[naartjie]

I never said ALL men. 9/10 is not all men. It’s a majority. God forbid people share opinions which this site is for. Go ahead and report me. Truth hurts so I get it!
Additionally, fuck off and never tell me what to do you scum. Don’t like my comment? Keep scrolling. Stereotypes are are not given, they’re earned. Jsut like how black people like chicken/watermelon/grape juice, typically Asians are bad drivers, white people can’t season food- list go ones on. This is not EVERY person but a large enough group that these stereotypes come to be.

[Pohjolan]

Look a woman just needs not to be a boner killer. So yes men go for looks in that sense but its not priority. Just that its a deal breaker if he'd be ashamed of being seen with her in public.
Of course from a ugly gals POV it seems like guys care just about looks just like a short guy thinks that women go just for tall men.

[naartjie]

Go cry somewhere else🤣

[naartjie]

@pohjan false. Men actually list over women even when they’re with someone. Looks are a BIG majority for men. They’re constantly looking.

[naartjie]

And no this isn’t an ugly gals POV 🤣 not only ugly girls see how men are. Even beautiful women do because there is always someone more beautiful than a beautiful woman and men will always go for a more attractive woman than the one he has- or doesn’t even have lol.

[Apple1996]

Men go for looks point blank period... Do not take this poll seriously because their words don't match up with their actions

[blackeagle007]

Women are no different

[naartjie]

Yessss thank you lovely @Apple1996 for speaking FACTS. Men lie so much to women to get away with how horrible they actually are. (Not all but majority)

[naartjie]

@blackeagle007 wrong. Women are more likely to date unattractive men especially if they’re funny and kind and all round an amazing person, women can grow to love a man. Men are not like this. So your statement is actually incorrect.

[Pohjolan]

You just don't have to be ugly like for gals a guy has to be enough tall.

[blackeagle007]

@naartjie only times women date unattractive guys if he’s rich. Owns a sports car.

[naartjie]

In those cases he’s gaining something and so is she- I see no issue with that. @blackeagle007

[blackeagle007]

@naartjie see? So women are gold diggers like trumps wife

[naartjie]

He’s got a hot girl and she gets money. Both win. Those situations are self explanatory. Do you even think?

[blackeagle007]

@naartjie only being with someone for their $. You call that love ❤️?

[naartjie]

It’s always men with no money who call women gold diggers. Those men with real money don’t complain. Those relationships are superficial though. You men want hot women to sleep with you but they ask for something in return and we’re gold diggers. What about the men going for women just for their looks? I only hear you bash the woman as of the man isn’t getting what he wants too

[naartjie]

It’s not love lol, I never said it is love but there are people who have transactional relationships and both parties needs are met. It’s not love but the woman isn’t the only one benefiting. Again, do you not think? Clearly you don’t read either lol

[blackeagle007]

@naartjie no I’ve dated average looking women. If they are fun to be around, what more can I ask? It leans towards women that’s causing problems in dating. I. E feminism like Me Too. Making up false rape claims. That’s why it’s hard to trust women. Plus women feel they don’t have to put anything on the table. Social media tells you just to just exist.

[blackeagle007]

@naartjie no I t leans towards you that can’t read. I’m sure you’re MAGA which makes you too fat to be on GAG.

[naartjie]

That’s because people are so lost and far gone from the traditional life. People think doing all these things and acting these ways are fine. It’s not. People need to go back to the basics. What live and marriage and unity looks like.
I don’t support men dating hot women because they’re hot and women being with them for money- both are getting what they want from the other so I can’t pick on that

[naartjie]

Damn and now you resort to calling me fat🤣 are you a child? That’s your come back to me. Thankfully the only thing fat on me is my ass and boobs lol. Go cry somewhere else you cake

[Apple1996]

@blackeagle007 let's be real most men are the ugly ones in their relationship. The women are almost always the better looking ones out of the two. That tells me right there that men go after looks

[blackeagle007]

@naartjie I’m smarter and more powerful than you

[naartjie]

@blackeagle008 you’ve got problems. You’re a grown boy🤣

[blackeagle007]

@naartjie you just seem like a female

[AaronKrieger]

Looks initially, but I NEED them to have the right character and values. For me, if I can't picture them being a good mother, then I don't want to date them.

[Zack-Bann]

I think a truly well rounded person has all of these to some capacity


But character and values are the one I wouldn’t compromise on

[Joshydavid25]

Of course, her character and values are the important parts.. Especially since you want somebody with the same core values as you.. A definitely a character of a good woman..

[TerrySilver]

Her morals first, and then her looks second.

[BonzoInBitburg]

Looks attract at first but that won't make a guy stay so it isn't what we value most. It's what we value initially

[andreasderjuengere]

I prefer to get selected.
Where my own preferences are rather about the absence of certain traits, than chasing an idealised illusion.

[RavVid]

Overridingly that she is genuinely nice. I am still single.

[jeta33]

I value a woman's character more than her look

[Anonymous]

For me, it's always love at first sight, so beauty/looks/appearance is the first.

If I like the way she looks like, I'll adapt to her character, and even her interests.

[RedInnocent69]

All of the above. @Apple1996 is right, in that you might sleep with a girl for looks, but a relationship takes more than that

[exitseven]

character and values.

[TallAnon]

Compassion and kindness, but if I don't lile her physically, she'll just be a friend.

[Dargil]

All four, the last being erotic desire.

[sawno]

All of these need to be there.

[Phoenix98]

Mix of all of them.

[Anonymous]

Character but only if she's attractive

[blackeagle007]

Men aren’t as visual as women

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Tie between looks and smarts.

[Massageman]

values.

[Jeff51]

2nd woman.