My new girlfriend is being very distant, she has said many times it’s because she’s overwhelmed, but I don’t know if that’s also because of me?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been dating this girl for about 2 months, and I asked her to be my girlfriend 2 weeks ago. She seemed really excited and we had sex for the first time that night. She has a socially draining job, working with customers all day and she also has a strange schedule. Ever since I asked her to be my girlfriend she has seemed really distant. We have gone on 2 dates, but one of them she cut short because she needed to get home to get to bed for work the next morning, which is completely fine. All dates prior to this, we would close out wherever we were and would even go to other places if one closed down. She has been taking hours to respond, and when she does it’s spotty.

But I’m getting in my own head really bad because she wasn’t like this before, one time she didn’t respond for like 2 hours when we first started talking and she sent me a message apologizing for it. That didn't bother me at all, and I told her. But now, she texts me noticeably less. She has said many times it’s because she is very overwhelmed right now and when she gets like this she gets very very introverted and sort of turtles up and she has also apparently been blowing off friends and doesn’t want to talk to anyone. We are both going on overlapping trips over the next few weeks, and it’s going to be really hard to see her. I offered for her to come over so I could make her dinner this week before I left, but she declined because she was too busy. I fully believe her that she is busy and overwhelmed. But I want to know if she even wants to be in a relationship. I don’t know if asking her would be too much, too clingy, because she has told me it’s because she is overwhelmed. But it’s been 2 weeks of this, and all after I asked her to be my girlfriend. She said she talked to her psychiatrist and they talked about getting anxiety medicine but she doesn’t think she needs it just yet. I just don’t know what to do? Should I just continue and not mention anything and hope she gets over it?

Updates

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Also, when she does respond, they are meaningful responses, it just takes her a very very long time to respond, especially in comparison to how it was before. I’m mainly in my own head because this is all after I had tried to
Make it official. I thought we would be talking more, not less. It could just be bad timing with her job getting stressful

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo, that's a tough situation bro. Sounds like your new girlfriend is going through some stuff and it's affecting your relationship. I get why you'd be in your own head about it, especially since things seemed to change after you made it official.

The good news is, it doesn't seem like you did anything wrong. From what you've said, she's been upfront about feeling overwhelmed and stressed, and it sounds like it's not necessarily because of you. The job she has sounds really draining, and sometimes that can just zap your energy and social capacity, you know?

The fact that she's still trying to be present, even if it's in shorter bursts, is a good sign. And the meaningful responses when she does text back show she still cares. It's just that with everything else going on, she's gotta prioritize her own well-being right now.

My advice would be to try not to take it too personally. I know it's hard, but try to be understanding and patient. She's told you directly that she's feeling overwhelmed, so believe her. Pushing for more attention or commitment right now might just add to her stress.

Instead, focus on being supportive in the ways you can. Check in on her, let her know you're there if she needs anything, but don't suffocate her. And try to give her space to recharge when she needs it. The trips you both have coming up might actually be good - a little distance could help give her the breathing room she seems to need.

If, after a while, you're still feeling totally disconnected, then it might be worth having an open and honest conversation. But for now, just try to ride it out and be the stable, understanding partner she needs. Hopefully, once the overwhelming stuff passes, she'll be able to give you more of her time and attention.

Hang in there, my dude. This is just part of navigating a new relationship. With patience and communication, you guys can get through it.

[PeachyPie93]

I don't know.. seems dodgy.. I would casually start pulling back on messaging her and stuff. If she doesn't message you first then she probably is not wanting to be in a relationship with you.

[beefcakebradybatson]

She has a taxing occupation, so I guess she feels she needs some space.(Listen to Southern rock band 38 Special's hit,"Hold On Loosely," to understand her present ordeal and how you can be a supportive boyfriend) .