Boyfriend keeps dragging feet about moving in together. Do I need to consider breaking up?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I are a pretty good distance away from each other, him being in Oklahoma and me being in Connecticut. Our ages are a bit distant as well, him being 22 and me being 28. We've been dating and seeing each other for almost 3 years now, and he's extremely on and off about moving in with me. Right after he stays for a week here, he'll go on and on about his excitement, saying he's gunna save up and move here soon... then months go by and suddenly it's excuses like "I don't want to leave my family" or "I won't have any friends". Now, he's made it absolutely clear that he doesn't want me meeting his family anytime soon due to them not being the friendliest, so my option to consider ever moving there seems more unlikely and more unfair than him coming here as my family absolutely adores him and practically all accepted him into the family already.
The "I won't have any friends" kind of came out of nowhere today when he's literally flying here for a week visit in 4 days. Rewinding a couple of months ago, he told me he wouldn't care about leaving them as they mostly hang out through online games anyway. So... I don't know if I'm just going absolutely insane or not, but does this seem all sketchy? Am I wasting my time?

I love him a lot and keep wishing we'll be able to move into a place together and start our own family but times sort of ticking and I'm starting to see years of my life flash by. I don't even know if he'll ever decide.
Please be blunt. I know he's young, so it's never not going to be a reality check. and if I'm being an asshole about wishing he wasn't coming here after saying that, tell me so lol

[RHK36]

Honestly he's wasting your time. He's in his comfort zone and probably likes having everything how it is however that's not what you want. If you are seeking something serious and real I'd suggest moving on from him. He's not interested in you enough which is why he's got excuses and none of them are good. He's only 22 so most likely a momma's boy. He's still got lots of growing to do. Find a guy a bit older if you're looking for something interesting. Otherwise this guy will enjoy having sex vacations until you end it.

[DannyUk2017]

Is a momma's Boy, these kind of "rabbits" don't want the Bg/girlfriend life, they just Testing the water, just move on, as you won't stand a chance... and him being that young he might also end up "enjoying life a litlle bit too much" and it will hurt you in the process, so is not worth your time...🤷‍♂️

[alli-112]

Girl what were you thinking dating a 19 yr old at 25 to begin with?

But fr, I think if nothing else you should start be sitting down and have a genuine conversation about what he is looking for moving forward and how it compares to your goals. If that doesn't go well or y'all's goals really don't align then I think you need to be real with him about that and end things. There's not much point in keeping something serious going if you aren't headed in the same direction.

[DishLady]

If you’re asking the question you already know the answer.


Step away from the noncommital guy….

[Karl877]

Ask him, in a non-judgmental way, what are his trepidations about moving in together? It could be anxiety, it could be worrying about things. This is something you definitely need to settle before you make a decision. Even if he agrees to move in together, this is a conversation if you still need to have. I think that breaking up is a possibility and an option, but you wanna find out everything you can before you make a decision like that.

[Nikki1989]

You have to decide if whether your needs and desires for the relationship's progression are being met. Life is short, don't waste it.

[red-lipstick-girl]

I was in a long distance relationship too. He used the same words. He said he couldn't come because he had work to do. But he was going abroad and traveling. I left him because he lied.