I’ve asked this girl I’ve been on a couple of dates with over text if she’d want to have sex, and now she won’t message back, did I mess up?

[Dnnfnfkdjs]

I’m not sure how to approach this subject. I felt like asking was the most straightforward thing I can do, rather than possibly misreading cues later on and making things awkward. I phrased it like “wanna have a little fun 😏” Now I feel embarrassed and like she’ll screenshot the text or something and show her friends. I mean is it wrong to ask though? Is asking on its own enough to be seen as a creep? I don’t know what to do.

[HollyK21]

The question in itself isn’t “bad”, it just depends on who you’re asking and in this case you should’ve known better than to ask her. It’s one thing if you met her on an app geared towards hookups, or even if you two had an earlier understanding that you both wanted casual sex. But for you to have gone on dates with this woman and most likely met her on a dating app, then it’s pretty clear what she’s looking for and that her intention is to date and get more serious with a man one day, not to be having sex.


The sex most likely would’ve come with patience, since she was actively investing time in you and probably was developing feelings. To straight up ask her for sex was not only degrading but made you look one-track minded and was basically very off-putting. You should’ve either kept it to yourself and let things play out, or specifically have sought-out a woman who was looking for the same thing. If you don’t want to do that because you think it makes you look like a jerk, that’s because it is jerky to a lot of women and most of us wouldn’t be down with that offer.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

Possibly. Maybe she was thinking it was going to be something serious. Maybe she was losing interest in you anyway. Who knows? What looks to be apparent is that she has cut off communication with you and it started off your message.

I would probably not respond either if someone just asked me so directly for sex after a few dates. I'd prefer for things to happen more naturally once I've developed feelings for them.

[Dnnfnfkdjs]

In the future should I just wait for them to bring up the subject first?

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

It's tough because some girls will be into it, but I can't imagine it's too many. You can bring it up but more like if you are already on a date and you are a few dates in at that point and things are going well. That's probably a better time rather than just dry texting you want a booty call.

[slatyb]

Sounds like you haven't lost anything. Forget about it.

[Lovergirlhey]

I don’t know you or the girl personally as a person but you maybe should’ve waited or check if she was uncomfortable with it. Sex is a strong subject.

[Jmmmfi4]

I asked a girl straight up once if she wanted to have sex and she said yes