Why do people want to be approached but refuse to ever approach someone?

[Summeroflove]

I notice a lot of people complain they aren’t being approached. But then when it’s NOT the men/women they want who are approaching they complain that they don’t want to be approached.

If you want to choose you can’t beg

[Chazmatazz269]

Men chase. Women choose. That’s just how it is. That’s how it’s always been. That’s likely how it will always be.
The widest study of its kind showed that less than fifteen percent of women have ever asked a man out, and a negligible percentage have practiced it as the norm.
If you never had to risk rejection, humiliation, and potentially being put on some kind of list, would you still?
Most people don’t work any harder than they absolutely have to in order to achieve a desired result.
Good men have stopped approaching women because the reward isn’t worth the risk. So women are feeling the effects of only being approached by creeps and weirdos. We have never socialized women to risk rejection, let alone accept it with grace. So their response is naturally going to be to complain that they’re not being approached by the men of their choosing, then wait for men to run to solve their problems for them, yet again. Ell oh ell!
There have been smaller studies that indicate women have a much higher success rate when they do make the first move. The app, Bumble, was developed on that principle. It was a failure. Ell oh ell!
I think the disconnect is only going to grow. Most of us should probably get comfortable with being single. Find intimacy with our family and close friends, get pets, expand our minds and our spirits. Love ourselves and the world around us.

[Summeroflove]

But those wkmen don’t really choose. Because they limit only to who approaches them. That’s the opposite of choosing

[OneViewpoint]

Your supposition is wrong in my case.

I don’t want to approach… most of the time. Because I’m very selective about the people I’ll engage in conversation.

I don’t complain about women NOT approaching me. I don’t want to be approached… most of the time. I make it pretty hard for a woman to chat me up.

But I can flip a switch, turn on the charm, and chat with any woman when I want to. I’m not afraid to approach or shy. I’m selective. And it’s not just looks. It’s the whole person.

[DishLady]

I think “approaching” depends on the circumstance. I’ll approach whoever I need to for a business issue or as part of the welcoming committee at church, but I don’t approach randos outside of certain contexts. It’s just not logical.


And for relationship-related things yeah the guy should be manly enough to approach me. If we have to start off with me chasing him then I already know he’s not manly enough to handle me in an actual relationship.

[IAMRIA]

Approaching a woman doesn’t make you manly. Approaching many women in my opinion is actually the unmanliest thing ever.

[DishLady]

@IAMRIA No one is talking about MANY WOMEN.

[Anonymous]

A lot if girls are socialized to let the guy approach them. But of course they only want to be approached by the guys they like.

[Summeroflove]

Well obviously…. But that’s the issues begin. There are women (not all women mind you) who get pissed off that men won’t approach them but also get pissed off when the only men who approach aren’t the men they want

[Summeroflove]

The truth of the matter is that the men who are approaching random women they don’t know are either men who are desperate and cannot find someone very easily, men who are creeps, weirdos, turds, etc who again don’t really get a lot of female attention and the women (if any) they’re around don’t want them.

The other extreme is men who are yes attractive but they’re just wanting sex.

[Summeroflove]

Because believe me. The men who are super attractive don’t have to look very hard to get female attention. They also have a lot of options so if they’re looking for something serious (while maybe it happens sometimes) the majority of the time they aren’t going to go need to approach someone they never met before to build that relationship.

Because men who are attractive the more confident women will approach them and even throw themselves at them at times. Waitresses will comp them free shit. Women who are their friends, their sisters friends, their friends sisters, family friends, coworkers, and others that they already know….. will be interested.

Most the time people will feel more attracted to and want to build a relationship with someone that they already know

[Summeroflove]

But the men who get upset with women for not wanting attention by men they don’t want. Need to understand they need to imagine a beautiful woman approaching him verses….

Let’s say. Ugly women. Old women…. Etc. They would probably react differently if they’re telling the truth.

If they’re approached by women who don’t brush their teeth or take basic care of themselves or old women.

Women get approached by men who don’t take showers. Men who are creepy. And old men….

[capriVib]

Yes, approaching is often seen as the man's job, but there's a certain etiquette to it. When you're in the same environment and constantly exchanging glances, I thought her interest was directed toward me. You can approach girls, but many women are very selective about this, so most girls you see out there aren't worth approaching.

[Dongie]

A little awareness of the activity surrounding them. The world doesn't revolve around them. Their wishes are not always met. Most assuredly the person they want to be approached by will not be the one. Be open and friendly. Look beyond the immediate appearance and take note of the person in the meat suit.

[Nikki1989]

The notion of being rejected, disregarded, or negatively assessed can be exceedingly distressing for individuals who are insecure and lack confidence.

[Screenwriter]

Some people are impossible to please. And some are lazy, too. The combination is lethal to someone's social life. Maybe they'll learn in the long run, eh?

[Pohjolan]

Why do people here talk so much about who approaches whom?

That falls under normal socialising before and after covid.

Then there's flirting and then making a move.

Touch grass or something.

[Anonymous]

people fear approaching others because rejection hurts so they wait to be approached instead

[Summeroflove]

But a lot of times that makes them single for a lot longer

[Opinion Owner]

Well, I guess that means pride is more important than love. Personally, I am the same way, I could never make the first move. I am both worried about being rejected and too proud to take the first step.

[Opinion Owner]

I think if you have been rejected once, there's no point in trying again. We should not force things. Maybe we are destined to be single.

[Summeroflove]

Well you can get rejected later in a relationship. Just remember you limit your own options to who approaches you first. If the men approaching you are on one extreme losers, creeps, and turds. On the other are players, fuckboys, and abusers.

Because most men who have lots of options. Don’t need to approach especially just random women

[Summeroflove]

Nobody should force things I do agree. It’s okay to be single people may choose to be single or just be single.

However, once people feel entitled as well as hate the entire opposite sex for being born as the opposite sex. Those are the pathetic ones

[Pohjolan]

Approaching doesn't come with risking rejection though.
Making a move does.

[Summeroflove]

@Pohjolan well you can have a man make a move on a woman. Go on a few dates and then get rejected

[Anonymous]

MeToo statutes, a potential date isn't worth life in prison or execution

[Summeroflove]

Asking someone for a date isn’t even sexual

[Opinion Owner]

Still a crime here

[Summeroflove]

Where are you

[Opinion Owner]

England

[ProbablyClueless]

They lack the confidence to approach so they hope the other person will compensate for that.

[SuperZonicGUY1992]

Ay e because racist shit heads like you are annoying!

[Flower7]

Because rejection is embarrassing.

[Summeroflove]

It can be. But if someone’s worth the risk

[Flower7]

That’s your opinion I guess.

[Chrissywakeup]

no one is obligated to accept every approach 🥸

[Summeroflove]

Obviously not. The issue is that they don’t want to approach themselves but feel entitled to have the people they want approaching them yet get upset when it’s never who they want.

[Summeroflove]

Let’s be honest. Most men would by lying if they said a very attractive woman verses one they aren’t attracted to they would react differently

[Anonymous]

There's a term for the condition. It's called FES, or female entitlement syndrome.

[LiamJHayden]

Shyness and for women tradition.

[Anonymous]

I'm too shy to approach.

[WonderingManII]

Very good question!